What's love got to do with it?

Girl, heard you're getting married
This time you're really sure
And this is the end
They say you really mean it
This guy's the one that makes you feel
So safe, so sane and so secure
And baby if he loves you more than me
Maybe it's the best thing for you
But it's the worst that could happen to me
Brooklyn Bridge

WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

I’m going to share with you my current outlook of the nature of marriage. My views are flexible. I say this because I’m known to fluctuate like a pendulum depending on my chemistry levels: estrogen, progesterone, serotonin, adrenaline and co-dependency issues between neurotransmitters.

As a woman, and a tad on the dreamy side, I’m an intense romantic, drinking and loving words of love, soft and tender that woo my heart and soul. I become a little girl, wide-eyed and mesmerized, an emotion similar to the rapture feelings of a child expecting Santa Claus and his bag filled with toys. The illusion of a loving, jolly, old grandpa figure, ready and willing to fulfill all your wishes on Christmas Day and all Christmases to come. Do you still believe in Santa?

Women oftentimes dream of their wedding day and a happily ever after. Do couples go into marriage with the expectation of “till death do us part?” Do you? Realizing that forever is NOW, now is all there is, a vow, a promise, a thought, an opinion, a moment is lived in the here and NOW. No one can foresee or guarantee the future, as the future is altered and molded by the consecutives moments (hereinafter referred to as “NOW.”)

“NOW,” let’s ponder the question “how old is the institution of marriage?” I read an article, in one of my recent college text, (I’m a born again student)….that claimed that marriages date back to 2350 B.C. In those times, marriages had very little to do with love. What’s love got to do with it? (Tina Turner) So, if love has nothing to do with it, then what? Try to attempt an educated guess: the money, the biological clock, companionship, sexual fulfillment? None of these answers, while plausible, are correct. If you are a man, you will disagree with the assumption implied by the article that “it is a man’s world,” (James Brown) and insecurities lurked in the subconscious. Consequently, as a way to calm these demons, the birth of the institution of marriage came about. Its primary purpose was to guarantee that a man’s child was truly his biological offspring. If a wife was unbirthable, (add this word to your vocabulary list) meaning, not fertile, the husband had the option of returning her to her family and was free to choose another. Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back. Thus, women became properties of men, a brilliant but cunning way to control.

"NOW,”what do you deduce was the stepping stone that jumpstarted women’s rights?

Being a woman and a devout Catholic, I’m going to publicize my point of view. (Most writers aren’t this candid. Their propaganda is subliminal). I’m of the opinion that religion came to the aid of women. During the Renaissance period, the Catholic church was very influential in Europe, at which time, it declared marriage a sacrament. Halleluiah! The Renaissance period was too a rebirth for women. Small as that step was towards women’s emancipation, it did provide women with greater respect from men by introducing LOVE to the union of souls. Divorce was not an option and till death do us part was born. I wonder what were the alternatives? Do you suppose that Henry VIII had the right insight? OFF WITH HER HEAD!!! I reckon divorce had to do a comeback for the survival of women.

NOW, is love a notion forced in the union of marriage by the church? I don’t believe so. Love has always existed and will thrive in a contiguous NOW. “LOVE is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”

Love is not a perception; it’s a REALITY - -REAL. Perception dilutes, distorts and obscures the NOW. While marriages may not last forever, love does. The love that binds husband and wife together is the real marriage.

To sum it up, Santa is not the reason but the season or the seasoning, “the spice” of Christmas. Christ is the reason. Marriage is not the commitment that binds the union for life. Love is “the real thing” and dictates the motive of all actions. It’s the permanent glue that cannot be separated no matter the lures and charms of another. It’s “Real Love.” (John Lennon) The love grows with each consecutive NOW and in the splendor of truth it thrives.

So what’s the logic? “It’s called, “The Santa Theory.” Christ-mas is to Santa……as Real-love is to Marriage.


P.S. Did you notice the consecutive NOW's? PAST-PRESENT-FUTURE...all BLENDED just NOW.