Smaller Insights to Self Help

Make action figurines of yourself and sell them for meat. You'll make a lot of money, especially if you smile a lot...both in the making of the figurines, and in the company of the meat. It's quite fun and you should do it.

If you find that it makes you all that you want, then do it again and again. In fact, make some of me too so I can meat as well because meat is quite fun and I should do it. How fun is it? well I can't tell you, you will have to do it for yourself.

Making action figurines of yourself is good because you can see how you look and stand in a world that is already much larger than you are. Clippings a mile long, papers large enough to crumple YOU. It's not fun to be crumpled, so you must watch out for it...but wait, it's not the REAL you down there, it's just the figurine. If you ever found a piece of paper that was willing and able to crumple you, I would advise you to try and run as fast as you could, and try not to fall. Falling is not good.

I used to have a recurring dream when i was younger about a giant killer robot that would chase me through New Jersey. I fell in a hole and was stuck from my waist down in sticky slimy stuff that made me stick and be slimy. Slimy was kind of fun later on, but the sticky part and not to mention the robot were both really really bad.

If you play with your figurine, you can make him/her avoid little conflicts like these (presumably you weren't DREAMING them, that's right). Furthermore, you had better do it and do it now. Do you want to be crumpled up and be chased by a giant killer robot for the rest of your life??? Of course not!!! Make these little figurines so that you can watch yourself from a seemingly scale mile away. That way when it really does happen, you'll know everything you need in order to pick yourself up and lie yourself onto the couch or inside a shoebox.

Robots are real, and so are crumplings. If you combine them together you result in the worst type of pain and evil you would have ever felt in your entire life (except for that one time that we will not get into). If you ever do get caught and are proceeded to be crumpled, straighten yourself out as stiff as a board because boards are not as easily crumpled (but don't stand too close if it's carrying matches, because boards can be burned).

So, you'd better make these figurines now. here's how you do it:

First, buy a pile of 20 legal pads and go home. Take off all your clothes and put them on your front lawn. Go back into your house, take out all of the rest of your clothes and put them in the yard. Then go back in and take up all of your other things (i.e. stuff in boxes, bags, including all of your furniture) and put them all on the front lawn.

Second, look at each and every last little thing or groups of things that you have brought out. Remember as much as you can about your life in which each belonging is a part of, and write it down on the legal pads. attach each story to its respective belonging and walk around until you can guess what each and every thing means without thinking about it. You should be able to recite every story you've written.

Third, grab a folding lawn chair and start walking down the street. Look back at the conglomoration of stuff in your front yard. see it??? Doesn't look so pretty and life-giving after all, now does it?!?!? Your life that you've been living is just a big pile of shit that can get rained upon and shat upon just like anything else...ESPECIALLY anything you ever made fun of. You made fun of everything and everyone. As you look back and see all of the stuff in your yard, you see that it was YOU that you were making fun of.

Finally, you are blocks and blocks away. The pile of stuff still looms in your vision like that lonely spoon you could spot in your backyard from your bedroom window when you were five, no matter how many times you shook your head so you could lose sight of it. It beckoned you to come back to it. You wanted so bad to jump out the window and go to it. Why? It was just a spoon. You ran around your room and jumped on your bed, playing with the window frame and fogging up the glass with your breath just to get outside and have a closer glimpse. Why? It was just a spoon. You ran out of your room and slid down the hallway on your knees, buried your head in a pile of (seemingly) clean clothes, ran into the living room and sat on the couch. You went back to see if it was gone from your vision, and yet it wasn't, and you wanted it more. Why? It was just a spoon. It still looms in your vision to this day, just as this pile of stuff looms in your vision right now. You were trained not to go after the false promises of this spoon, just as you are now trying to remember so you don't go back after the false beckoning promises of your pile of stuff. You don't need it. Keep walking.

Soon it will come to be the size of the palm of your hand. And at this point you sit down on the lawn chair and stare back at it. It won't get you anymore. It's smaller than you now. You can mold it into whatever suits your fancy. You can mold it into your figurine and you can play with it whenever you like. Give it a cool grip or a backside string, a few accessories or give it a lawn chair and let it sit as naked as you are now, staring back at IT. You know you are safe, the crumplings and the giant killer robot will not know you without your stuff. They will not know you for the self that you really are. naked, sitting in a lawn chair, looking at a bunch of stuff, and thinking about a spoon.

As the crumpling and the killer robot move quietly past you to your pile, you notice that they too are getting smaller and smaller, and easier around which to maneuvre. You can overcome them now, or better see HOW to!!! it's a real eye opener for you, and you can feel happy now. You can move out of their way, and then move in to strike back. Ooh! Almost gotcha that time, didn't it! Now look out, here it comes again!!!!!

So, now you've finally beaten it or have learned how to. Now you can carry your lawn chair and your naked body back to your stuff and put it all back in the house or give it away, it doesn't matter. You have now made your figurine, and you can make more of them. In fact, you might not even HAVE to sell them for meat, that part might come naturally. You should stay naked for a while, though, because naked is good.

Very good.