Why Haven't You?

Can I call you Jules?

No.

What should I call you?

Julie is fine.

How old are you?

Right now I'm 23.

How old will you be tomorrow?

23.

Do you have any pets?

Two cats, two dalmatians, three turtles though those are my brothers.

What do you consider your biggest accomplishment?

Putting up with you.

That wasn't very nice.

Neither was asking me to do this interview. Okay, biggest accomplishment, huh? Let me think. Being published.

What's your favorite color?

How can you go from accomplishments to colors? Nevermind. Purple.

What do you like to do in your spare time?

Write, read and play video games.

So, you're published? What's the book about?

Vampires.

Can you elaborate a little bit, please?

Vampires that can't die, told in first person, has a lot of blood and sex in it but no foul language. My mom only made it to the third chapter, my grandmother won't read it and you still haven't returned my copy.

Sorry.

Whatever.

You want to act in movies, right? What brought this on?

I've always wanted to do this...I'm just finally doing it.

No, really.

I always believed I was not good at anything, that I truly didn't have any talents. Then I won first place in the writing contest two years ago.

I remember.

But I still didn't believe I could write. Now I'm published. I still have doubts but writing and acting have always been the two areas I did very well in. Thus-

Thus?

Therefore, I shall act and write. I will live the dreams I've always cherished. How was that?

Fine. Are you dating anyone?

No.

Why not?

Have you seen the guys around here?

Why should I print this interview?

You're asking the wrong person because I don't think you should.

You like monkeys. Why?

I don't know. I just do. I think they're cute. If you say 'monkey' when your angry or something it seems to lighten the mood. Plus, I was born in 1980, which, by the Chinese Zodiac, is also known as the year of the monkey.

Maybe it was meant to be then.

Maybe.

Can I ask you a personal question?

I thought you already did.

Why haven't you?

Why haven't I what?

Why haven't you, you know, gone all the way?

All the way? I haven't even gotten near.

Why?

Maybe you should ask yourself why you have gone all the way.

I will when I interview myself.

That would be interesting. I just don't see the point in it. And I don't want to. Is the interview over?

No. I still have a few more questions to ask you.

Well, ask yourself because I'm leaving.