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Rated: XGC · Short Story · Erotica · #783219
A king and his queen pass the night together...
CODE: H (set in the Horus/Kemet storyline)

TAKES PLACE DURING (specific story): Legend (?) (unwritten)

PAIRING: Menes/Ankhnes-Mery-Ra (M/F)

EXPLANATION: This is an older scene. An old, unwritten plot of mine was for a story called Legend. It was the story of the house of the Egyptian king Menes down through the generations, following a curse that had been laid upon him; the early parts of the story were to be concerned with Menes himself, and his efforts to unite the two kingdoms. It was really a very weird idea which I can't fully get into. But in this story, Menes had his wife, Ankhnes-Mery-Ra...there was a girlfriend he had left behind when he went on his travels to unite the kingdoms, so far unnamed...and then there was Bata. You may go see Bata in "Majesty." I won't get into that here. In addition I later created the characters Ta-Merit (Menes's second wife) and Idut (a one-night stand); they have their own scenes as well. Before all that, though, there was Ankhnes. This was the earliest erotic scene I wrote with Menes, so it's pretty tame. I'm not sure if all the plot details are correct but I think the characters are mostly on target; Menes doesn't tend to objectify Ankhnes the way that he does with the other women he's with, it appears--notice how he pretty much demands that the others lie with him, yet asks Ankhnes for her permission.

DISCLAIMERS: Maybe some plot problems? Who knows. Lots of POV trouble, though.


* * * * *


Self-Restraint


He moved into the room and toward her bed, glancing down. She was lying on her stomach, head turned to the side, asleep. He stooped next to her, touching her face gently.

"Ankhnes?"

She murmured, shifting slightly. He could just barely see her blink her eyes open and look up at him. "Menes?" she murmured.

"Yes." He touched her face again, tracing his fingers down her neck and bare shoulder. He was aching terribly inside, yet he forced himself to ask, "Am I welcome, Ankhnes?"

He felt her touch his hand. "You're always welcome, My Lord."

As his wife it was her duty to present herself to him whenever he wished, whatever his mood. She knew very well that he didn't need to ask. Nevertheless, she'd been wondering when he'd come back. He hadn't touched her since the princess had died, fully four months ago. It was her responsibility to give him a child, preferably a son; if he refused to visit her there was simply nothing she could do. However, judging by the way he'd touched her, producing an heir wasn't quite the first thing on his mind. He was there because he wanted her.

Receiving her approval, he climbed up to join her. His hand flat on her back told her that he didn't wish her to move. She lay silent and motionless as he brought his leg up and over; a moment later he was kneeling over her, his heart pounding in his chest. He kept his breath level somehow, though Ankhnes started slightly when he lowered himself, his body meeting hers. She hadn't noticed the tightening inside herself until they touched. His breathing was deep but even; he nuzzled her neck while he ran his hands down her sides. Her own heartbeat sped up and she arched her neck. He continued nuzzling her as he started to move, with his hands separating her buttocks slightly to allow himself to enter. Her breath came faster; she started again when she felt his hardness against her, then between her legs, pushing into her. Menes let out a slight noise; it sounded halfway between a murmur and a moan. She sensed that the past few weeks he'd been restraining himself, perhaps in an effort to heighten the experience. She knew it was working for her.

He allowed himself to savor the feeling of being inside her after so long, unmoving, for a moment; then, his body pressing against hers, he began thrusting, very slowly, pushing in and sliding out. Ankhnes moaned, her voice muffled by the pillows. The soft sound aroused him further. He burrowed his face into her hair, bending his knees so that he straddled her as she lay straight. He couldn't believe the throbbing ache he felt. Her passivity was a stimulant to him; he stroked her arms as he started pushing inside again, his muscles contracting with each thrust. He gritted his teeth, fighting back the urge to cry out. He also fought back the desire to start pounding into her, wildly and savagely; it was what he felt, it was what he needed, he wanted nothing more than to ravage her furiously; yet the thought of doing so when she'd allowed him in not only made him feel remorseful but disgusted as well. There was no need to rape her; she'd given her body to him willingly, and he sensed that she'd given him more than that.

So instead he went slowly, swaying gently into her. His frustration was evident only when his hands grasped her hips tightly and he ground inside. Ankhnes was panting. When Menes raised himself slightly with a groan, gripping her shoulders and pushing deep inside, she burrowed her face into the pillows, stifling her own cry. A moment or two later he dropped his head, grinding his teeth and jerking into her as his fingers sank into her skin. Ankhnes started and cried out, jerking once underneath him and falling still. He felt the ache and his hardness leaving with the fluid that spurted into her. He didn't even think of the child they might produce.

He let out his breath and pulled out carefully, bringing himself to lie at Ankhnes's side. She still lay prone, unmoving, her face buried; he could hear her breathing hard into the pillows. He touched her shoulder. She finally raised her head, panting, her eyes still glazed with passion. He kissed her and she received him.

He knew that hadn't been the way she liked it, him entering her from behind; it was almost barbaric but it had been what he'd so desperately wanted, and she'd complied without a complaint, even coming in response to his own orgasm. Nevertheless, he wanted to end the night leaving her satisfied as well; he kissed and caressed her till he felt he could enter her again, and then rose, clasping her shoulder and turning her over. Her eyes blazed; when he kissed her again she grasped his neck, raising her hips to pump against him. This time he started.

He couldn't fight back his urge to take her violently anymore. Baring his teeth, and sinking his fingers into her hips, he plunged inside. Ankhnes arched and gasped, her own fingers clawing his back. He rammed inside furiously, again, and again, till he felt a snap and jerked, releasing his seed inside her. Ankhnes cried out again and writhed beneath him until he'd finished; then she let out her breath and collapsed. Panting now, Menes pulled out. They both lay for a while, attempting to catch their breath. Finally she turned to him, tracing a finger along his jawline in an unusually intimate gesture. He looked at her. She smiled and kissed his cheek.

"You should restrain yourself more often, Menes," she said, using his name rather than his title. She knew she could get away with it for now.

He smiled back, a lazy satisfied smile, something no one but her would ever see. There was a tint of lasciviousness in it. "Then we'd never see much of each other, would we?"

"We barely do as it is," she retorted. It was enough to get her in serious trouble; nevertheless, he only continued grinning and traced his fingers along her own face.

"We'll just have to change that, won't we?"


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This item is not looking for critique. It was written solely for entertainment's sake. Although a scene from a possibly longer story, it is complete in itself and unless otherwise stated there is not going to be any more of it written. Additional unrelated SCENES may be written, but single scenes themselves are complete as they are. So please do not expect more. If you are interested in reading the series which INSPIRED the scene, just look elsewhere in my portfolio and you should find something. (Use the "story codes" given in the scene headers. For example, "MI" = "Manitou Island" series.)

I am not looking for critique on grammar, spelling, style, sentence structure, flow, or the mechanics of writing. What I AM interested in is commentary on such things as characterization, plot, symbolism, theme, etc.--the deeper aspects of the story. I like to know if a scene is believable, if the characters are interesting, what you thought of how they interacted, if the writing evoked any emotions, things such as that.

Feel free to criticize, but just keep in mind that I'm working on more important projects and shared this just for fun and/or to illustrate character interactions, so I don't plan to revise it any time soon. Comments on the characters, theme, etc. are more than welcome.
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