Even Angels Make Mistakes

Even Angels Make Mistakes.
.
- "You were amazing
We did amazing things
And I wouldn't change it
Cause we were amazing
things"
-Alex Lloyd
From "Watching Angels Mend"
.
.
Once, in a black moment
I told God
I only wanted one year
Over and over
In all of Eternity,
But could he please cut
The part where she said
"I don't love you anymore"
Now some things are beyond my comprehension
That being the most salient of all.
.
I want to escape this emotion
So I'll say it plain
What kind of love dissipates into nothing
Unless there was really none there at all?
And that - which is the worst thought-
Would make her a liar.
.
I don't think that's true
Which leaves me at a loss.
.
I believe
Breaking up with me
Was the second hardest thing
She'd ever done
(the hardest, well that's another story)
But damn,
If only I knew why!
Even angels make mistakes
But I tell myself this
Tongue in cheek.
.
"Just move on"
I hear you!
.
And it is with sharp distance
That I roll our relationship into a ball
And observe it in the palm of my hand.
Still, I know,
If she were to walk past me right now
My heart would begin to pound
My hands would begin to shake
.
Damn it
She gets into my head so easily
Transporting me back to a time
Full of raw passion and romance.
.
Romance I say!
When I met her
There was not a shred of that left in me-
But she brought it out
With her dancing and piano playing
Her "Kiss me" and
"Hold me you fool"
And all the quaint surprises
She was endowed with.
.
There was a moment
I had my chance
To reclaim her
And I screwed it up.
I was a real moron
To let her get away.
She had stung me too deep
All I wanted to do was punish her
So I let her stand there
Half naked
Inviting me
I said "get dressed"
What an imbecile.
.
Well, I love her
Despite myself,
This is my secret life.
.
"Why can't you just move on?"
You've said that already
Well, and I have-
What we had is mine to revel in
It doesn't hurt anymore
It's like a world inside a crystal ball,
All I have to do is dream
And we're together again.
.
14/11/03