Road of Lies

There goes time crawling slowly. One slow day at a time. I am stuck in this warp zone, where nothing moves, only time slithering lazily.

Deceiving opportunities, which are not opportunities at all, but the cruel gods taunting me with what they won't allow me. Toying with their invalid daughter, faith crippled by the blows of fate's cruel jokes.

I cannot move from here. I cannot heal. The road to recovery is a road of lies. Lies supposed to heal you, but how could they heal when you discover they are mere illusions to entertain you for a while?

And then they take it all away from you. They, the laughing gods. They strip you of every last shred of pride you cling to for your sanity. They leave you with a crazed mind and a bitter heart. You have no more pride to swallow, only sorrow.

I huddle now at the side of the road, as night has fallen and the path goes around in circles. I am afraid to move; I have nowhere to go. And even if I try, I only end up in the same place. I am exhausting myself.

How long will the night last, or is there no daytime for me? Have the gods forgotten, leaving me in endless darkness? Who will I meet on this road, asside from the distant, smiling phantoms who disappear when I reach out and try to touch them. Laughing at me, they refuse my touch.

What is it I lack that I seem more insubstantial than these phantoms? Or am I the phantom? What do I need for them to accept me and embrace me into their world? Just one would save me. Just one would make me real. One phantom, one heartbeat to keep me company on my journey along this road to recovery, the road of my life. Just one heart to beat with mine.

But the gods have forgotten me, their unwanted child. They have abandoned me.

Perhaps I was meant to walk alone.