Choices

(Kacy) Chris*: Popular jock/drug user-pusher ~ jersey
(Julie) Riley*: Christian background/choosing ~ gothic
(Natalie) Anna*: Shy girl/abused/abortion ~ school uniform/preppy
(Susanna)Meghan*: Popular girl/depression/drug user/divorced parents ~ cheerleader uniform
*Names Subject To Change

Choices
Circa 2003
By J. Anne Doolittle

SCENE: Opens with four chairs in different positions on the stage; lights come up on all; spots Anna S.L.

Anna: It’s always amazing when one looks back and discovers why they are who they are. It can be difficult to see the defining moments that truly changed you. Of course, I can only speak for myself.

(Pulls out cigarette and ‘lights’ it)

I can think of one definite cause for me.

(Takes a drag)

Bryan. He was a senior, I was a freshman.

(Laughs, shakes head, takes another drag)

I was young and stupid. That’s not an excuse, it’s a reason. That’s what I keep telling myself. I was young and stupid, that’s all. But then I’m faced with the reasons behind my current actions.

(Shrugs, takes another drag)

My name’s Anna, by the way.

SCENE: Spot fades as she continues to ‘smoke’; spot comes up on Riley on far S.R.

Riley: I know what you’re thinking. She’s doing it for attention and you’re right. Well, half right. I’m doing it for the stares and the comments. I dress this way to be remembered. Eventually, someone will look back and think of me, the strangely dressed girl in their homeroom and wonder where I am. Actually, they’ll probably be wondering if I still dress this way. I won’t be. I’m actually trying to find out who I am, what I believe, what I stand for. Most people don’t take life that far until much later. My parents insist that I choose. So I will…when I’m ready to. As soon as I choose who I am, that is. Name’s Riley.

SCENE: Spot fades comes up on C.S. where Chris straddles his chair.

Chris: There’s nothing wrong with living life to its fullest, am I right? If feeling fine doing what I want to do is wrong, I don’t care. But, hey, what are you gonna do? I’m just being me. They accused me of taking steroids just because I scoured four touchdowns in one game. Can you believe that? Kicked me off the team because of those pills in my locker. They weren’t even steroids, they were caffeine pills. Man, I tell you, bunch of paranoid fanatics, that’s what they are. Anyway, I’m Chris, as if I really have to tell you. Everyone knows who I am…everyone who matters.

SCENE: Spot fades and comes up on Meghan far upstage left.

Meghan: Do I really have to tell you anything? I’m a cheerleader, student body president, and a straight A student. I just made a bad decision. Too much pressure.

(Takes a deep breath, blinks slowly)

I thrive on popularity, I breathe it. I will be valedictorian, I will go to name of upscale college, and I will have a career before a family. These are the goals I have set for myself. I need to look out for me.

SCENE: Lights fade as spot remains on Meghan.

Meghan: No one else will. That’s what one must face in their life. I’ve got to be there for me, I’ve got to succeed for me, because I’m the only chance I’ve got. Meghan has to be there for Meghan, you’ve got to be there for you. And don’t bother looking over your shoulder for your friends because they won’t be there.

(Appears to rethink this, shakes her head and leans forward)

You are asking me to tell you why I’m here, all of us actually. What brought us to this point. I’ll tell you. A bad decision. Everyone makes them, some more often than others, but the thing that separates us from others is that our bad decisions had the ripple effect you only hear about.

(Leans back, sighs, focuses on a point above the audiences heads)

What brought us here? That is the question of the hour. What indeed?

SCENE: Spot fades, comes up on Anna standing with a nurse S.R.

Anna: How long?

Nurse: A day or two at least.

Anna: I’ve got school! I can’t be laid up for a day or two.

Nurse: I understand that but you’re not exactly going to feel like running a marathon.

Anna: What’s the soonest you have?

Nurse: Next Tuesday at three o’clock.

Anna: And my parents will never know, right?

Nurse: Not unless you slip up and tell them.

Anna: I won’t.

SCENE: Light fades as nurse hands clipboard over.

Anna: I won’t.

SCENE: Spot on Chris C.S. counting a large amount of money.

Chris: Good day today.

(Meghan enters)

Meghan: Hey.

(Chris pockets money)

Chris: Hey yourself.

Meghan: Heard you got kicked off the team. Sorry.

Chris: Kicked off? Me? That’s rich! The coach wasn’t interested in trying out my plays so I walked.

(Meghan isn’t buying it)

Meghan: Oh?

Chris: That’s right. Small time team can’t handle a big leaguer like me.

Meghan: Yeah? Well that’s what I figured.

Chris: You did, huh?

Meghan: Of course.

(Pause)

Chris: So what? You need a refill?

Meghan: Something like that. I’ve got a big exam next Wednesday.

(Chris pulls out ‘baggie’/’bottle’ and drops 3 red pills from it into her hand)

Chris: Fifteen.

Meghan: I need a little more. Emphasis on big exam, Chris.

(Chris contemplates)

Chris: No way, Nutmeg. Three’s the limit, ya know.

Meghan: I’m not going to take them all at once, Chris. I’m not stupid. I just can’t afford to run out at a critical moment.

(Chris thinks it over)

Chris: How much?

Meghan: Fifty.

(Chris laughs)

Chris: No way!

Meghan: If I don’t get them from you, I’ll go somewhere else.

Chris: Where?

Meghan: Downtown.

(Chris appears to be struggling. Finally drops 7 more into her palm. She pockets them and hands him the cash)

Chris: Careful.

Meghan: Always.

SCENE: Exits S.L., sits in chair; spot stays on Chris.

(Chris pulls out his money and counts again)

Chris: Good day today.

SCENE: Spot fades and comes up S.R. on Anna. She sits holding her stomach and crying.

Anna: I’m going to be sick

(Closes her eyes)

Ugh, I feel awful. So awful.

(Opens her eyes)

Oh no. What have I done?

(Places face in hands)

SCENE: Light fades and comes up on C.S. where Riley and Chris are talking.

Riley: Like I care.

Chris: Man, you’re unusually bitter today. What’s up?

Riley: I’m deciding.

Chris: You’ve been deciding. Can’t you make up your mind already? Yes or no?

Riley: Processing new information.

Chris: You’re nuts.

(Pulls out blue pill and offers it to Riley)

Want one?

Riley: You know I don’t do that.

(Chris pops it in his mouth and swallows it)

Chris: I know.

Riley: I thought I understood all the facts. I thought it was all in front of me. Then they throw this at me.

Chris: What?

Riley: Have you ever held yourself accountable for other people?

(Chris shakes his head)

Me neither.

Chris: That’s it?

Riley: We should see how what we do affects others.

Chris: Whatever, Riley.

SCENE: Spot fades and comes up on Meghan at her chair S.L.

(Meghan pulls all 10 pills from her pocket and looks at them)

Meghan: How many should I take? I’ve taken so many lately I could have built up an immunity.

(She looks at the stack of books, opens a can of coke, swallows 4 then 6, following each with a swig of coke; knock sounds)

Meghan: Come in.

(Anna enters)

Meghan: Anna? What’s going on?

Anna: I did it.

Meghan: Did what?

(Meghan opens top book)

Anna: I killed it! I went and killed it! Oh my God! I killed my baby! I feel awful!

Meghan: How did you expect to feel?

(Flips through the book absently)

Anna: Oh, God.

(Anna falls to her knees and weeps. Meghan glances up with disgust and irritation)

Meghan: Can you get melodramatic somewhere else? I have to study.

(Anna continues to cry. Frustrated, Meghan stands, dropping the textbook)

Shut up, Anna!

(Meghan clutches her head like she’s dizzy)

I have to study. I have to-

(Meghan faints. Anna stops crying and rushes to her friend’s side)

Anna: Meghan? Meghan?

(Anna slaps Meghan’s face in an attempt to wake her)

Meghan! What did you take, Meghan? Meghan?

(Anna pulls out her cellphone)

I need an ambulance. My friend is unconscious. I don’t know, I think she’s on something.

SCENE: Light fades as Anna is talking and comes up on Riley hanging up a cellphone, Chris at her side.

Riley: They won’t tell me anything. What did you sell her?

(Chris runs his fingers through his hair)

Chris: Name of drug

Riley: How many?

Chris: Ten.

Riley: Chris!

Chris: I know. I know.

Riley: What are you going to do?

Chris: Handle it.

Riley: What do you mean, handle it?

Chris: I gotta shut up that girl Anna and keep this from getting out.

Riley: Chris that’s stupid.

Chris: You got a better idea, Christian, because if you do I’d like to hear it.

Riley: Don’t get like that. There has to be something.

Chris: What? What is there? You are so naïve.

Riley: Whatever.

Chris: You know what? Why don’t you just shove off and leave me alone, all right? You’re such a hypocrite. I know all about your smoking and drinking, all about your drug use. You think I’m stupid. And you know what else? I bet your parents know too. You go to church on Sunday, faking purity and goodness. You make me sick.

Riley: I make you sick? Me? At least I know that I have to choose, at least I’m making the effort. What about you? What about what you pass off as normal? You sell your mom’s pain medication, profiting on her disease. Before you judge me make sure your slate is clean.

Chris: Riley…

Riley: What are you going to do, Chris? And don’t tell me you’re going to handle it.

Chris: I don’t know Riley. I don’t know.

SCENE: Lights fade and spot comes up on Anna in her chair. Give time for the others to reach their chairs before bringing up lights.

Anna: Bryan. I remember him so vividly. He told me he would always love me. My parents were out of town. He said we should take advantage of the situation. Actually he took advantage of me.

(Takes drag of cigarette)

I look back and all I can remember is him walking to the door, telling me we should stop seeing each other. I cried so much. My reputation changed over night and guys flirted with me constantly. Girls threatened me. I was miserable.

(Takes drag)

So what? Eventually I went on dates just to spite him. They always ended the same. I’d sleep with them and they’d walk away. It became my calling card. One night Anna. They began to expect it and eventually so did I.

(Shakes head, takes drag, smiles sadly)

It’s kind of sad when you think about it. I lived the life, my child paid the price. I tried to kill myself after it all hit me. Once I realized what I had truly done, I took a knife into the bathroom with me and slit my wrists. I lay in the warm water and thought of the unborn child I murdered. Some people take it more to heart than others. I guess I’m just one of those people.

(Takes drag as spot moves over to Meghan)

Meghan: I said it was bad choices that brought us here. I wasn’t lying. Very bad choices. It isn’t easy to be all that you set yourself up to be, you know? I succeeded so easily at first but soon I was expected to be everything. Popular, smart, beautiful.

(Ponders this for a moment before continuing)

I had plastic surgery. My mother paid for it. Isn’t that funny? One of the two people that should love you no matter what paid to change me. My father didn’t even notice. I never told him.

(Pause)

I guess I really began to feel the pressure when they divorced. I was a sophomore when they told me that they couldn’t work out their differences. I told them I understood and buried myself in schoolwork. I thought if I was a straight A student, captain of the cheerleading squad, valedictorian, they would get back together.

(Pause)

I started taking the pills after the surgery. It was just too much. And I couldn’t just drop out of sight. I couldn’t just stop caring. I wasn’t trying to kill myself…I was trying to control myself.

(Wipes her eyes and spot moves over to Chris)

Chris: So, I thought about being responsible for other people and I didn’t like the repercussions it promised. Being held accountable for others is admitting that you are fouled up. I know you wouldn’t look at it that way, but that’s the way it is. If your mistakes ripple and destroy lives, what other conclusion can you come to?

(Looks at palms)

I remember my mom crying. That’s all she ever did. My father liked to hit. It was a constant occurrence in our house. I want to say that it happened every night but it was more like four or five times a week. I never fully understood why she stayed.

(Leans arms on chair back and looks at audience)

I was in junior high when the crying stopped. I thought everything was finally done, over. Instead my mom had discovered the value of prescription drugs. Painkillers, uppers, you know. Well, the day I first saw all the bottles in her medicine cabinet, I freaked.

(Takes a deep breath)

It was a week before I could make myself go back into their bathroom and look at the pills. I took the bottle of painkillers, thinking that if I had them, she couldn’t take them. I didn’t like her crying all the time but it was better than her being oblivious to me. The next day when I looked, the pill bottle was replaced. There were three new ones also.

(Crosses his arms and lays his head on them)

I took a little everyday after that. By the time I was a freshman I had pill overload. I was afraid my father would find them. That was when I decided to sell them.

(Pause)

I started small, taking only five at a time to school and casting out the line to see who’d bite. I don’t think anyone fully realizes the pressures at school. To be cool, to fit in, to graduate, to succeed. It weighs one down and the chance to loosen up at five dollars a pop…well, you do the math.

(Pause)

Well, I started taking some my sophomore year. I did it for show. I had done some research on the Internet and discovered the uses and values…and side effects. I took the harmless pills, the ones that give you a little boost, ya know? Just for show.

(Light moves over to Riley)

Riley: I shouldn’t be here. I’m not saying this so everyone will feel sorry for me but I really shouldn’t be here. Both my parents are saved and together, my grades are good enough, I don’t struggle with popularity, good looks or exceeding. I struggle with choices.

(Stands and paces)

If I choose correctly, I am rewarded. It is the cause and effect logic. Choose poorly and you are punished. But the rewards aren’t immediate in this choice. I live for God and I am persecuted. Who wants that? Honestly. But if I live like the world, if I attempt to fit into the mold the world has created, then what? I end up here.

(Pause)

It should be easy, shouldn’t it? The facts are so simple, so cut and dry. God truly exists and so the fact that He loves me as much as He does should carry me through. Faith and belief. I should be steadfast and strong. It should be easy.

(Pause)

But everything worth having, I mean really worth having, you must fight for. Freedom, peace, redemption. The gift is free but there is a battle. I just didn’t see it.

(Pause)

I didn’t understand what my actions were causing. I didn’t realize what my lack of strength would lead to. I just didn’t look at the whole picture. I was blind.

(Spot fades and the four sit as V.O. occurs)

Anna: He hit me. I was shocked. He was the only one who stayed after he had gotten what he wanted. He stayed. I really thought he loved me.

Meghan: I wasn’t planning to fall so deeply into the pills. I mean, I just needed one for that final, then I needed another. The test was easy but I just came to depend on the pills. I had to have the pills.

Riley: I guess, looking back, that I believed my parents were trying to hurt me. I thought they were trying to keep me from experiencing what I need to experience in order to live. I was wrong.

Chris: He did find out, my dad. He came into my room and beat me so bad I was out of school for a week. It just made me more determined. I wasn’t going to let him control me…like she let him control her.

Anna: When I found out I was pregnant with his child, my only thought was to kill it. He beat me and I was afraid to leave him. He was the only one that stayed.

Meghan: As I sat there thinking of all I had to accomplish, I wondered about the pills. Was ten truly too much or was it just that Chris didn’t think I was able to control myself. I opened the coke and took them all.

Riley: If I could do it over again I would have actually listened to what my parents were trying to say to me. I would actually try to live for God. I would have learned the lessons they were trying to teach me.

Chris: Looking back I realize that I was letting my anger and hate control me. I was being controlled by the drugs I was selling, by the memories I was left with and I nearly destroyed someone with my hate.

SCENE: Lights will dim, not fade completely, and the preacher will pull the altar call. Actors must remain seated until heads are bowed and hands are raised.