Imperfection

Dear Betsy,
         How have things been for you? For me, well,things could be better. Joy and I got in a heated discussion today. As best friends, we normally agree on things, but we don't agree on this. She thinks I'm crazy for not having an idea of the perfect person for myself. Well, I have my standards, but they're small in quantity. However, they carry heavy weight. I don't ask for much. I ask that the guy be capable of three things.

         First, he must be patient. As you know, my moods swing more violently than a monkey on the run, and the only way for me to keep from self destruction is if someone I trust can keep both of my feet on the ground. That kind of thing requires a lot of patience. You know that. In fact, weren't you the same when you were a teenager? Second, the guy must allow me to drift a little. I need to have a life outside of a relationship in order to survive, as it inspires my art. Plus, being around one person all the time makes me very edgy sometimes. Okay, a lot of the time. That aside, the last thing I ask for is that the guy doesn't try to be perfect. It is impossible to be perfect, and even if one looks perfect, that person's imperfections will eventually be made known. The bottom line is I want to see those imperfections up front, because I want to love him for who he really is, not some image he wants the world to see.

          Is this too much to ask? Well, I guess at my age, it is. Truthfully ,I've realized that in the end looks are secondary and unimportant when it comes down to what really matters in a relationship: trust, loyalty, honesty, and respect. Those are truly the elements of love. Maybe I'm among the few my age that recognize that.Hmmm....well,anyway, what do you think? Do I ask for much out of a guy? Perhaps at my age it is a lot to ask, but in the end, I think it's something we all seek.

                             Love always,
                             Davena