VISIONS OF MY PERFECT MATE

VISIONS OF MY PERFECT MATE

Lengthening my desires from having someone who is "still breathing" is quite a challenge. Of course, I am putting some careful thought into the qualifications of a perfect mate. Forget age at this point, just think true love!

First and foremost, he must possess a sense of humor! He will not tell off-color jokes but can see the funny side of life and share that with me. He will be able to laugh with me and not at me. He will be able to see me in the morning and smile, not scream or ask me what I charge to "haunt houses"!

My perfect mate would be easy-going, with a ready smile for me and others. He would care about other people but would be devoted and true to me. He would have a sense of decency and fair play. I would be able to see love and respect in his eyes when he looked at me.

He would be romantic enough to hold my hand, remember my birthday, our anniversary, and love me enough to put up with my shortcomings. He
would be affectionate without going overboard in public displays of love. He would be interested in my life without being possessive. He would share his world with me, and want to learn about my world. We would be able to take a combination of both to make "our world".

He might look like the "Marlboro Man" or just an average guy, but he would be there for me, attentive and caring. He could be a firefighter or policeman type, one who is there to serve and protect, not one who turns away from danger or problems. He would have a life of his own but would talk to me about it, and invite me in occasionally.

He would be clean cut, clean shaved, with dancing brown eyes (or are they blue?) and a ready smile. He would smell of Wild Country or Old Spice, but lightly. He would enjoy long leisurely baths and quick showers and back rubs. He would light candles near the tub and turn on the music, with lights off or low. He would be able to relax with love. He would not consider it wrong to meet for dinner at noon, to hold hands and steal a kiss. He would return my love.

He would know how to take care of himself emotionally and financially. He does not have to be rich, as long as he is working right along with me to have a good life. He would be close to debt-free, or at least be trying enough to be making payments on time.

He would want a home of our own, and work with me to attain that goal. He would just not go and do without talking to me about what I'd like. Yet he would be strong enough to make decisions on his own, and stand up for what he believed to be right. He would be there to enjoy the home and not on the road all the time making a "living". I don't want a paycheck, just someone who cares about me!

He would enjoy my country music soul and have the courage to introduce me to his music tastes. He would enjoy going to dinner, plays, movies and also just staying home. He would not take sole possession of the remote control, and he would pretty much like the same kind of shows I do, but understand if I leave the TV and go to my computer. He would have an interest in my writing, in my "projects" and not tell me I am wasting time. He would not hog the blankets at night, and if someone had to get up to let the cat out, he'd volunteer.

He would know how to cook, from grilling steaks to tossing a salad, and would enjoy teaching me some of the things about cooking that I've forgotten since becoming afflicted with the empty nest syndrome. He would not consider cleaning up just "women's work" but would pitch in and help. He would not be ashamed of washing a dish or helping to dry, knowing that teamwork is all part of a great relationship.

He would enjoy traveling and be able to sit and plan together a trip we'd like to take. We would save for a great vacation at least once a year, but if something major came up, our plans could be postponed without a second thought. He would be able to drive, and drive safely. He would be a law-abiding citizen. He would stand up for his country, and not be afraid to go and defend it. He would have been a veteran, and not be bitter about his lot in life.

He would understand my past, love or at least like and respect my children and back me up when I flounder. He would not ask me "what happened" or "why", but he would listen without judging if I wanted to talk about it. He would not be jealous of time spent with my family, but try to become a part of it. He would encourage me and trust me.

He would be a romantic who loves soft music, dim lights, and snuggling. He would bring me a flower once in awhile (even a wildflower can be a true expression of love). He would call me once in awhile when our work takes us away from home and each other. He would put a love note on the refrigerator once in awhile to bring a smile to my lips, and would start the morning coffee.

He would respect my feelings and we would work out emotional differences without complaint. If I didn't like his friends, I would still try to understand why they became his friends, and would expect him to do the same with mine. He would give me space, as I would him, knowing that we would come back to each other. He does not have to be a carbon copy of me, bending to every desire of my heart.

He would be understanding; not given to rages, drinking and abuse. The first sign of that would send me right out of a relationship. He would not tolerate seeing abuse of anyone, especially children. He would be strong enough to stand up for what he believed in. He would be a moral man. His ideals would be high, his dreams even higher.

He would stand beside me and exchange wedding vows, and never forget the love and cherish part. He would be happy to grow old with me, and be there for me when I am not able to care for myself. He would hold my hand on my way out, as he did on his way into my life. We would have that commitment to each other, as I would be there for him too.

If this "vision of a perfect mate" does not exist, or at least have ALL the qualities, it will be all right. It will be enough that my perfect mate loves me and respects me. That, and of course, he should still be breathing.