I turned to go into my sister's room - |
THE NURSING HOME (An Empty Bed) Several years ago, it was necessary For my sister to go to a nursing home To live out her days, with Alzheimers. She could not be left alone. No more locks on the door at home, No more would she walk out into the wood Become confused and lost, while we Searched for her, best as we could. In the nursing home, she would get care That we could no longer provide; Her husband had suffered a heart attack, Her youngest daughter was there by his side. It was the beginning of the end For although she got the best of care, It would never be the same again That home - without her there. Her children came to visit her, Her husband came to feed her everyday; He proved that his love was strong And would see them through that way. I often went, in the beginning, To see her and try to help with care, Then somehow, life got harder and I wasn't always there. I was battling with my own demons, Just trying to survive - I guess I thought she'd always be There and still alive. She didn't remember me, But she would smile when I came in; Sometimes she'd try to talk Not remembering where she'd been. I used to like to help her up, And walk with her down the hall To the lobby where we'd sit Watch the tv and, as I recall She'd lay her head on my shoulder And seemed quite like a child, This woman who had been a teacher, So good and sweet and mild. One morning as I ventured in To visit one more time; I saw a change upon her face As blank eyes looked into mine. Now I've known death and I've known pain, But still it did not prepare Me for the day I walked in and Found an empty bed in there. How do we cope with lonliness? How do we cope with sorrow? How do we just keep going on When there is no tomorrow? I don't go to the nursing home; No more I enter through its door. She left a long, long time ago And doesn't need me anymore. Note: My sister is still living, In a world that's all her own; She's there until the angels Come and call her home. Now it may seem callous For me to stay away - But I'm battling my own demons, And they will not go away. I'm facing death in my own way As my aged hands will tell; Maybe I just can't take it - Another death, I know it well. Five brothers, and two sisters Have already gone before - Is it fair that I should watch Another sister go through the door? One day I will go back again When I get over all the dread Of walking into the nursing home And finding - an empty bed. Dedicated to my sister Alma June, This 26th day of December; I may not always be there for you - But I always will - remember. Love, Julie |