Becky

He loved fall, Matt was positive it was his favorite season. The park bench was providing a quiet escape on his lunch break from work, and the breeze blowing the leaves was very relaxing in contrast with the recent events of his life. He jumped when he realized a person was standing beside his bench. Matt turned slowly to find Becky, his ex-girlfriend, and first love. "Hey." He said. "Hi, Jason said I might find you here." she told him. Matt silently cursed Jason, though not fully meaning it. He had looked forward to spending this time alone. At the same time, Matt and Becky, who had joined him on the bench, leaned forward and rested their elbows on their knees. She looked at him and smiled at the coincidence. He meekly returned the smile. "So, how is Parker doing?" He asked, mentioning the name of her current boyfriend, one of his good friends. "he is good." She said quietly, almost reluctantly.
"Josh said you were having surgery this week." She said, quickly getting to her point. Matt cursed his younger brother and best friend for his big mouth. To him Becky sounded concerned, but he shook the feeling off, telling himself she had a new boyfriend, new worries. "Yeah." He said. She looked at him quesioningly. "Umm, the last time i went back for a checkup, the doctor found a tumor." He swallowed hard. "It's in my chest." He told her, slowly moving his right hand to his chest and gesturing at the spot the doctor had shown him. "they are pretty sure it is malignant..." he paused. "so they are gonna remove it." Becky had her face in her hands. She looked up when he finished, her eyes sad. "God Matt, are you okay?" she asked. "Yeah, i am doing alright." "I am so sorry, how is everybody taking it?" she questioned, referring to Josh and the rest of Matt's close friends. He laughed a little. "Actually, i think i am taking it the best of anybody." They were silent for a moment. "When I heard the leukemia was in remission, i felt like jumping up and down, now i can't imagine how dissappointed you must be." She said. Matt swallowed hard. "yeah." He said, his voice thick with emotion. "You could say that." He looked away quickly, hiding from Becky the tears he feared were glistening in his eyes. He tilted his head back, looking at the clear blue sky.
"Josh wasn't at school yesterday." Becky said quietly. Matt sighed. "Or the day before." He pointed out. "He is not taking this well at all. It's almost as bad as when i was first diagnosed, he won't really talk to anybody." Matt stopped and shook his head slowly. "I hate to think what Josh will do if I ever don't make it through all this." Becky gasped, and grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly. "Matt, please don't say that." She begged fiercly. Tears were threatening to spill down her cheeks. Matt squeezed her hand back. "I didn't mean to upset you Beck, I just can't not think about it. I mean, I have been fighting this for over two years." Becky looked him straight in the eye. "That doesn't mean you can just give up!". She said. "What about all the people who care about you?"
Matt bit his lip and looked down. "Becky, I am not giving up, I have just stopped telling myself everything will be okay." They were both silent, deep in thought. She took his hand and gripped it tight. He squeezed back and turned towards her. Matt looked deep into her eyes. "Becky, listen to me, I am never going to give up, I will promise you that okay?" He said seriously. She nodded. Still looking into his eyes, she said softly, " I have missed you." Matt quickly looked away before turning back to face her. "Don't do this Beck." He said pleadingly. "I meant that though." She said. "What's that supposed to mean?" He asked, sighing. "I don't know, she whispered, her chin trembling. He took her chin in his hand and tilted it up so he was looking into her eyes. Slowly, he leaned closer and kissed her gently on the lips. She put a hand on his cheek and returned the kiss. When he pulled away, they could only stare at each other. "what have I done?" he thought to himself. Parker was one of his best friends. Parker and Becky had started dating about six months after she and Matt had broken up, and although it had hurt him, Parker and Becky had been a happy couple for over a year, and Matt found himself happy for them. Matt saw tears forming in Becky's eyes. "what have I done?" She said, so softly he barely heard her. "I think we need to talk about this." Matt sighed.