The Pain, The Sorrow--Of Hopeless Love

THE PAIN, THE SORROW--OF HOPELESS LOVE

I knew it when I looked into his eyes
He was perfect for me and I for him
But fact is, we could never be
Because he and I have no soical hymn

It hurts not to know him better
Yet I fell like I have his story down
Enjoy his company and seeing his face
But sadly I have to wear this frown

I talk to him everyday to no avail
He'll never know because fate chose another
Puts me out of the picture for good
The pain will never die and wither

Probably find another without knowing me
My feelings are locked inside for eternity
All I can do is smile and nod faking it
But all I wish was we were in receptivity

The rules say no and no again to my want
And never to my one true desire in life
He'll never realize my need for him inside
He'll get himself some respectful wife

Forget in a few years who I was and it won't matter
Because I should find myself someone in the days to pass
Many need to search for the comfort I'll need to get over
But only his is the true I need to get on green grass

I pity my own existence in denial of feeling
And I truly wish this didn't have to be
Wish I had the knowledge to make it work
He'll never take notice of sad little me

I cry the days I do not have him in my arms
And weep the days I do not know his kind
But all I know is he can easily go on
As for me, I am losing my entire mind

Cannot take this sorrow for myself
Can't withstand the pain of never having
Feels like a bloody wound that won't heal
Just because I heaved the sad javelin

Into myself is my try to never know the pain
But I know that if I can at least see him a bit
The pain will subside momentarily, briefly
And yet I cannot stand in this awful, inner pit

End me now, I cannot go on feeling this way
Living a pitiful existence each long, anguishful day
I see light at the tunnel's far away end
However I could never reach its lenghtly way

He stands there waiting for me, but I could never reach him
He stands there looking for me, but I could never see him
He stands there reaching for me, but I could never touch him
He stands there arms open for me, can't ever love him

They restrict him from knowing what he'd ever be towards me
Maybe he feels the same way to me and want to be with me too
Though the fate of it all has made it impossible to know
Though I search for the hopeless path to my love so due

Won't ever reach the need I have
And does it matter to them
That I feel pain because I am
Forever in a day without him

Help me those who made it so
If you so bothered to care
I anguish in pain all the timely days
For I"ll never lay next to what's fair

Oh maybe the dreams will be enough for now
But the true presence of him next to me
So that is teh only thing that will work
For I can no longer feel what is gone from me

All that is left is the empty pit
And maybe I"ll try to reach again
Though I already know I can never make it
I weep for my thought to abstain

If I withdraw the sorrow may take me whole
How is it one can be so engulfed by this thing
And all I see in my future is loneliness
And he's not noticed in visions the abashing

I pun my life in front a crowded room
All laughing and I see him in the back of this place
Talking to another and he looks at me
Grin that was there--wiped beyond his face

Nightmares haunt my hopeless feeling for
And I try to exit the trap within
The end tells it to all who know
Hopeless love is a life-long toxin

-poet Darka