Mismatched

Their first date is tonight, she knew that. In fact, she knew it so well that it was burning into her brain, the only thought that would stay in her mind. Biology, Math, French… they all slipped out, but the date, that she couldn’t forget. She tried to concentrate on something, anything else: music, a photo project, an IM conversation with another friend, but how could she stop imagining it. She could almost see the date: she could see his dark hair sweeping over his darker eyes; she could see him brush it away and smile awkwardly as he always did. She could hear his laugh; she could feel the nervous first-date pauses. It seemed like the entire world was trying to remind her of it. Why did the radio have to play it’s “89X Meeting Place” ad right now? She changed the station, and it was a soppy love song. She looked back at her computer screen and there was a dating service pop-up. It was a conspiracy, a sick joke that the world was playing on her. “Fine!” she slammed her laptop shut, knocked the radio off the table and threw her textbook on the floor. For a moment she just stood there, seething.

She grabbed her keys and slammed the door behind her. She drove, fast and hard, spinning around corners, tears streaming tonight. She looked at the passenger seat, where he would be sitting if she’d had the nerve to ask him out. Instead, her swim bag was still there, reeking of chlorine, damp and sad. It gave her an idea.

She wriggled into the damp suit in the bushes. Pulling the cold, clammy spandex over her body made her shudder. She ran across the pebbly sand and plunged into the lake. The water was warmish, with the lingering heat of the day still trapped in the waves. She let her body sink down, feeling the tiny currents pull and push at her, trying weakly to move her. She stayed down for as long as she could, eyes closed, feeling the water run through her hair, lifting it and toying with it. Her lungs began to burn, and, without her telling them to, her legs pushed against the sandy bottom, and propelled her towards the surface. She broke through the water’s skin with a splash and gasped. The night air was cool and a wind blew lightly over the lake’s surface.

“Billie?” She turned around. Standing on the shore in a pair of swimming trunks was Carter. He looked at her curiously and waded out towards her. She waited in the deeper water, watching him. “You’re not skinny dipping are you?” He asked, stopping dead.

“By myself?” She raised an eyebrow. He shrugged, and continued forward.

“If you’re not skinny dipping then what are you doing?” He dipped his head under the water to give her a moment to think. He resurfaced, watching her expectantly as though he hadn’t moved.

“Consider it an exorcism.”

He nodded, acknowledging that she was in one of her moods and shook his mane of shaggy blond hair out, splattering her with droplets. She splashed him in response, laughing a little. He smiled back. “So, you came out here to swim away your problems.” Billie nodded. He smiled. “Understandable, I do it a lot.”

“Am I in your way then?”

“Not at all,” Carter grinned. “Trumping you in a race will only make me feel better.” He splashed her and set off across the lake, cutting a clean straight line. She followed him, knowing that he would win, but also not wanting to be left behind again. She slowed as they crossed the middle of the lake; Billie wasn’t a very devoted swimmer, she swam laps in her country club pool when she was warm and played a little water volleyball for fun, but the lake was wide and she was tiring.

Carter noticed and checked his pace, now swimming lazily on his back, staring up at the sky as though he had rolled over on an impulse rather than to wait. Billie caught up with him slowly and they swam to the swimming platform together, although Carter pulled ahead for the last few strokes so that there could be no doubt as to who won. Billie pulled herself up onto the float, gasping a little. Carter bobbed in the water near her, lounging in the lake.

“Swimming.” He said suddenly. “It just clears my head… it makes all the bad things just go away.”

Billie nodded, knowing what he meant. “What were you getting rid of?”

Carter shrugged, looking up at the clouds, and waited a while before answering. “I guess I’m just too busy.”

“Busy with what?” Billie asked, suddenly terribly curious about Carter’s life. He was the kind of guy who she would say hello to in the hallways, perhaps sit with in study hall, borrow a pencil from. She didn’t know anything about what he did outside of school.

He pulled himself up on the platform next to her, muscles rippling slightly under his skin, reminding Billie of the way Nathan’s arms looked when he played basketball. Carter looked at her, catching her attention again. “You’d think I was stupid.”

“You mean, more stupid then I already think you are?” Billie quipped, her eyes laughing. Carter pretended to consider this, rubbing the slight stubble on his chin.

“I tutor. Kids actually, kids with learning disabilities down at Lawrence Middle School.” He tousled his hair, looking at his feet in the water.

Billie blinked in surprise. “Wow.” He looked away. “No, good wow. I mean, I wouldn’t have expected it… you always seemed so…”

“Jock-like?” He finished her sentence, grinning. “Yeah, I guess I am.’

“How did you get into tutoring?” Billie brushed her wet hair out of her face, looking at him intently, fascinated by this glimpse into the hidden Carter.

“Well, my little brother… he goes to Lawrence. He was the first kid I ever tutored.”

“He’s-?”

“Yeah, he’s got some learning disabilities.” Carter was unmoved, he didn’t have the slightest hesitation. He sounded proud, like a father. “ But he’s doing really well now.”

“What’s his name?”

“Alan. I have a picture…” Carter felt in his swimming trunks and then laughed at his own stupidity. “Obviously not here, in my wallet, in my car.” He looked at Billie. “You’re wasted, let me go get my truck, drive round here and I’ll drop you back off at your car.” He shook his head at her protests. “Honest, it’s no problem. I’ll be five minutes… ok, maybe ten.”

He stood up and dove elegantly into the crisp water, and set off across the lake. Billie watched him go, twisting the ends of her hair and sighing. She looked at her watch, still strapped to her arm. It was six o’clock. They’d be meeting soon. She shuddered and curled up on the platform, laying her head down on the rough wood.

“Sleepy head.” She opened her eyes to see Carter shaking her lightly. She started to roll over but he caught her quickly, and pulled her back from the edge. “That’d be a rude awakening.” She sat up, yawning a little.

“I can’t believe I fell asleep!” She laughed, rubbing her eye and smiling at him. He smiled back.

“I suppose I should give you the lecture about falling asleep and drowning?” He slipped into the water. She followed, shaking her head as the water woke her up completely. They swam the few strokes to shore and shook the water off. He handed her a towel, “It’s dry even,” and opened the car door for her.

When they arrived back at her car she unbuckled her seat belt and turned to thank him but he had this odd expression on his face. “What is it?”

“Is the reason you were sad that Nathan and Lexie are going out tonight?” He asked, a little awkward.

Billie stared at him, “No.” She bit her lip. “Fine, a little, but not because I like Nathan… it’s not that, honest.”

Carter nodded. “When my ex started dating another guy, being alone the night of their first date… well it sucked.” He shook his head. “I’m not asking you out but I know this club, we could get a couple of drinks, dance a bit, forget it. Another kind of exorcism.” He looked up through his quickly drying mass of hair. “It beats sitting home and imagining them having fun.”

Billie opened her mouth to refuse and thought the better of it. “Sure,” she said, rather surprised at her own audacity. “Why not?”

“Great.” He smiled. “So, I’ll come pick you up around ten?”

Billie smiled back. “Ok.”


He rang her doorbell, shifting his weight from foot to foot. Thankfully Billie opened the door. She smiled and leaned her head against the frame. “Hey.”

“Hey.” He smiled, digging his hands into his pockets. “You ready?”

She nodded and stepped out from behind to door. Carter’s eyes widened slightly. Her hair was slightly curled, bouncing happily, tickling her bare back above her crimson halter top. He followed her to his car, watching her legs stretch her leather skirt and listening to the click of her strappy sandals. For a non-date, she looked amazing.

He drove fast, with the music blaring, all the way to the club. Billie looked out a little dubiously. Carter noticed, “hey, are you ok with this?”

“Of course!” Billie smiled brightly, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Carter raised an eyebrow. “Never been here before have you?” She shook her head, playing with a curl. “Hey, I have an ID for you, it’s just dancing, it’s not as rough as it looks.” She nodded. “Good?”

“Good.” She opened the car door.

Inside the club was bright and loud. Carter blended right into the crowd, taking her hand to keep her with him. He led her across the dance floor to the bar, and pushed a few people out of the way to make room for her. He smiled and let her through so that she could lean on the wood and put an arm on either side of her to stop people from jostling her. “Ok?”

“Ok.” She said. He called to the bartender and got them two Coronas. Billie gulped hers uneasily. Carter raised an eyebrow. “Let’s dance,” she offered. He smiled and tipped down the rest of his beer. She turned to face him when they were in the middle of the floor, her teeth grazing her lower lip. He stepped up to her, closing the distance between them. She put her hands on his shoulders somewhat awkwardly.

“Don’t think about him.” Carter told her firmly. “You’re here to relax, remember?” She nodded and inhaled deeply. He tucked his arms around her and dipped her smoothly, surprising a laugh out of her. His hands around her waist moved her in sync with the music and his body, pulling her against his body then swinging her out. Carter was a fantastic dancer, manipulating her body.

“So, you had fun?” Carter asked as he opened the outer door of the club, his hand on the small of her back, steering her forward.

“Yeah, you were right, it really did take my mind off of… everything.” She almost walked forward but his hand was still on her back and he wasn’t moving.

“I’m not over April.” He said, abruptly. “I still care about her a lot and it’s not easy to see her with Chase… but you. You never were with Nathan and you’re still crazy about him. Are you really going to wait for him, wait for Lexie’s leftovers?” Billie looked away, angry with him for bringing this up. “It sucks, Billie. Life sucks. We should all be able to get exactly who we want… but…” Carter turned her head back to face him, “It’s better to have second best than nothing at all.”

“I don’t think it really works like that.” Billie snapped, irritated that he had spoiled her great evening.

“I do.” Carter said, he bent his head down to within a centimeter of her lips. He paused there, leaving the last move to her. She hesitated, but did not move back. He was so close that Billie could feel the heat radiating off of his face. He licked his lips a little, still waiting. Cautiously she lifted her hand up and pressed it to his wife beater, just over his heart. He was warm and steady. She then slipped her hand over to his dog-tag silver chain necklace and played with it. He got tired of waiting and closed the distance, so that his lips grazed hers. She moved up towards him and closed the space between them.

Carter caught up with her on Monday, peering around her locker. “So, you got a minute?” She moved to slam her locker shut, but he held it open. “Don’t slam, you’ll make a scene.” He spoke quietly, his voice soft. Billie turned down the hall, walking with him following until they pushed open the doors and inhaled the balmy autumn air. She spun and faced him, watching him carefully. He looked back, hands on his narrow hips, thumbs tucked in the front pocket of his jeans. His hair had fallen over his soft brown eyes but he didn’t brush it back the way Nathan always did. He let the scruffy blond mess where it was and stared at her through it.

“What do you want me to say?” Carter asked, moving his right hand towards her then back as though he was afraid or hesitant to touch her. Billie ducked her head.

“It was a mistake?” Her voice only trembled slightly on the word mistake, it was otherwise clean and clear.

“Was it?” Carter asked, smiling a little. Before she could speak he darted forward and placed a hand lightly over her lips. “Look, you were drunk, I was a little buzzed, we were on a dancing high. We were both pretty screwed up, and it wasn’t the best way to start something but… that kiss wasn’t half bad.” His mouth curved upwards and his hand moved from her lips down to cup her chin. “Was it?” His question forced her to answer.

“No.” Billie said quietly.

“No what?”

She glared at him for correcting her. “No it wasn’t half bad.” Carter grinned, and, moving his hand around to behind her neck, pulled her to him and tilted her head up in one swift movement and kissed her softly. He stepped back to let her consider the kiss for a minute, smiling a little smugly. “That wasn’t either.” Her strong voice now trembled and she let him take her hand and kiss her fingers, stroking them gently.

Even at the end of the day Billie wasn’t sure of herself, or of Carter, or of them. She walked around in a daze, bumping into people without apologizing and, if not for two quick hands, she would have walked directly into oncoming traffic. “Nathan.” Her breath caught in her throat, her eyes widening, pupils dilating. He smiled, the dimple on his left cheek deepening, and one arm still holding her firmly.

“Y’almost got yourself killed, Billie.” The words rolled out of his mouth touched effortlessly with his Southern accent. She could only smile, relishing the way he pronounced her name Bill-ay, dragging out the syllables as if to emphasize each word.

“Thanks.” She muttered rather weakly. He moved forward, staring at her carefully.

“Are y’all right, Billie? You didn’t get shocked, didja?” She shook her head, still smiling up at him, wanting to brush his dark hair out of his eyes, touch his glossy brown hair the way she did when they were friends. He backed away slightly, looking concerned that she might throw up. His hand rested firmly on her lower back. She stepped away, Lexie’s face jumping into her head, but he only stepped forward, looking encouraged now that she could move. “I haven’t talked to you in a while. How’ve you been doing?”

“I’m fine.” Billie said defensively. “How’s Lexie?”

Nathan’s eyebrows shot up, reflexively. “You’re her best friend, surely you’d know better’n me.”

“Lex’s been busy… with you I assumed. I haven’t talked to her much.”

He looked uncomfortable under Billie’s snappy tone. She immediately regretted scolding him, but he shook his head as though he had already heard the apology that was forming in her mind. “I’m sorry, Billie. Lex is your friend, I’m you’re friend… we shoulda talked to you about it.”

“Why?” Billie forced a smile onto her face. “I think it’s great that you’re both so happy.” She started to back away; arms spread out, towards her car, only his quick leap pulling her out of the path of another car. She continued backwards heedlessly, the maniac smile plastered on her face. “I’ve gotta go, Nathan… yeah, I want to call Carter… yeah, Carter. I’ll see you around.” She waved enthusiastically as she slipped behind her car, before collapsing against the car. Billie bit her tongue hard, yelling at her throat for burning and her eyes for tearing and her hands for shaking. Warm arms wrapped around her, pulling her face down onto a soft cotton chest, and rocking her tenderly, an equally gently voice shushing her.

Carter waited until she was quiet before helping her into her car, buckling her seatbelt for her and asking her repeatedly if she was all right to drive home. She nodded each time and only thanked him when he closed the car door, so quietly that if he hadn’t seen her lips move he might not have noticed.


“Hi, Mr. Hunter.” Billie heard Carter’s voice at the door. “I know it’s a school night but I was in the neighborhood and I only want to talk to Billie for a minute.” Her father’s voice rumbled indistinctly. “Thank you, sir.” Carter answered, followed by more rumbling. “No, I wouldn’t inconvenience you, I’ll just wait here.” Billie stepped out of the kitchen, leaning against the archway into the foyer. Carter saw her and smiled, “Heya, Billie.”

Billie’s father patted her on the shoulder as he left, pushing her forward slightly. “Thanks for today.” She said softly.

“Not a problem,” he answered calmly, and stood, leaning on her doorway, waiting for her to speak as though he hadn’t come to her. She bit her lip with no idea what to say. He looked down, clearly a little disappointed.

“You’re being really good to me.” Billie offered, tucking her hands in her back pockets. He nodded.

“Can you come out for a minute?” He asked abruptly. She slid up to where he was, looking at him expectantly. He lowered his voice and his eyes. “Look, if I was wrong about you and Nathan then I’m sorry. You obviously like him an awful lot and it wasn’t right for me to try and talk you out of giving what you want your best shot. I’m here for you as a friend and you don’t need to worry that I’ll do anything like that again… I’ll leave it alone, I swear.” He spoke quickly, without ever looking into his eyes. Billie was surprised to realize that she missed Carter’s trademark eye contact. “Well, tell your father I said good-bye.” He turned and walked away without looking back.


Carter was about to shut his locker when Billie pulled the door back, “Do you have a minute.” Carter pulled the door out of her hand, holding her wrist lightly to make sure that he didn’t slam her fingers in the door.

“Sure, I have a minute. What do you need?” He smiled, meeting her eyes only briefly.

“I’m sorry that I hurt you. I didn’t mean for you to think that I was using you or that I…”

Carter shrugged, and tugged her hair playfully. “Hey, it’s fine. I get it.” Billie shook her head and caught his hand.

“You’re not being you. You don’t… you’re not like that.” Carter shrugged, not meeting her eyes. “Look,” Billie leaned in confidentially. “I do like Nathan, I like him a lot, he’s been my friend for ages and I know that you know I was hoping for a little more than that but it’s not like he was the love of my life.”

“Is this supposed to be a pity speech?” Carter snapped, his ever present calm breaking. “Billie, I like you, as a friend and as a… as a girl. And if you just want to be a friend then let’s just be friends but don’t dally around and pull on my feelings. You wouldn’t like it if someone did it to you and I don’t like it when you do it to me. Maybe being friends was a mistake, if it’s too weird for you then, I guess that’s fine.” He tried to slip past her but she caught him by the shoulders and reached up to kiss him soundly. He kissed back energetically, wanting the kiss as much as she did. But when it ended he just backed away. “Don’t do that, Billie.”

“Why not?” She licked her lips.

He jumped forward and kissed her, pulling her tight against his body, one hand tilting her head backwards and holding it there, the other keeping her body firmly pressed against his body. “This is just chemistry.” He whispered, pulling away and smiling a little at the hoots and cat calls.

“So?” She answered. “Chemistry between friends normally amounts to a good relationship.” He nodded and kissed her lightly on the forehead, and lead her away from the gossiping crowd, deliberately standing between her and her view of Nathan.


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