Dealing with my father's cancer diagnosis on Father's Day. |
It's midnight - Father's Day 2002. And even though we haven't been together for Father's Day in years we live too far apart and even though I know it's just a day like any other day - this year it's all the more poignant because it may be your last. In fact, I'm quite sure it will be. What will I do without a father on Father's Day? I made your card this year like I used to as a child. I was able to put just the right message on it say just what I wanted to say with lots of "xoxoxoxox's" at the end. I sealed the envelope put the stamp on it addressed it and then it hit me - like a ton of bricks that I might not ever get to do this again. What will I do without a father on Father's Day? Later today we'll call you just like we always do. Only this year we'll call you at the hospital. And we'll say we love you and you'll say you love us and we'll each be wondering how many more times we have left to say that. What will I do without a father on Father's Day? I wish I could tell you again and again how much you mean to me how afraid I am of your leaving of your not being here any more of not having a father. But I'd be telling you for me not for you - so I hold my tongue and hope you know. What will I do without a father on Father's Day? What will I do without a father? * * * * * * From my ""Cancer, Dying, and Death Poems" " folder. |