The Angel

Sitting outside in the smoking area my heart was heavily burdened!
I had just been married for only a couple of years. My husband was my life. He had given me more physically, emotionally, and spiritually in those last two years, then any one else in my life.
It was 3:00 a.m., I had just brought him in around 10:00 p.m. for severe chest pains. They had taken him into intensive care. Five hours and I still knew nothing. All I could do was sit in the smoking area and "smoke"!
You meet a lot of people there with familiar situations,it's like your family brought together, each one needing to vent out their burdens, needing a word, a soft look, or a gentle touch. This is where I met Nanci. I was sitting there mindlesly, my brain running in circles, worrying about my husband, and asking God to please spare his life. I remember thinking I had just found hope and love in my life,and for God to take him from me now was more than I thought I could handle...
I was so wrapped up in my own world that I wasn't even aware of Nanci sitting across from me. I thought I heard someone speak ,looking up I could see She was crying and praying at the same time. "I immediately felt her pain." My heart broke, "hearing her desperate cry."
"Oh God," I heard her say. The sound of her desperation was that of a drowning woman clinging to the fragment of a sinking ship. Somebody help me I'm drowning! Lord knows, I felt the same way.
I immediately reached out, and touched her hand. "I'm here," I said. As she looked up, I saw a glimmer of hope in her eyes. Her pain was my pain her hope was my hope.
You never know how God can use you in a situation. The people he had placed in my life's pathway suddenly flashed through my mind. Can I be the same kind of blessing to this woman? The same kind of blessing that all those special people had been to me? "I can try", I thought.
As my hand touched her trembling hand, she reached out and clasped my hand with both of hers. I drew her close, she needed a hug. Sometimes words are useless, you just have to share the moment. In moments of severe desperation you draw strength from wherever you can get it. A shared burden is so much easier to bear than one you bear alone. As moments passed, I drew my chair close to hers. I still held her hand she was so scared.
I later learned that Nanci had Amy when she was only 17,She seemed to think that was when she had to grow up fast!Pain in a rejected kind of way was something Nanci was use to,Then she told me her daughter had been in a serious automobile accident a head on collision. The other driver was killed. This knowledge alone was a tremendous burden to bear. Would there be legal charges brought? Would Amy live through the night? Would she be paralyzed? As we talked so many questions ran through Nanci's mind.
We all know how hospitals are you sit and wait, and sit and wait. Doctor's are notorious for making you sit and wait. So time was all we had. I had a good ear for listening and she had so much to say. Her nerves were almost shattered and she really needed someone to talk to.
Sometimes if we can just get the pain out of us, it's such a relief. Even if we only talk about it.
She told me about her daughter, and about herself. She told me how they had grown up together,when she spoke about Amy, she just glowed. I know how she felt,I had a son and a daughter who were the center of my heart. It's just amazing how all of us have such similar situations in our lives. Times of tragedy are usually the only time we stop to reflect on our own lives and that of others. We never know just how good we really have it in life, until we meet someone else who has it worse than us.
Nanci's family had shunned her because she had a child out of wedlock , 17 and pregnant and all alone. What else could go wrong?
It is not the big issues in life that break us down , but the accumulation of all the little things that wear us out. Nanci was just plain wore out , years of raising a child , going from job to job trying to build a home and a future. Always looking for greener pastures.
We've all been there, seen it , done most of it , or so we think, until a Nanci comes up in our own lives.
My life was similiar to hers , I was a few years older than Nanci , and maybe age can be a benefit instead of a burden . I told Nanci Of how faith in God had brought me through so many times of "hopelessness". We held on to each other as we shared our memories, hopes, and strengths.
Then, The Doctor came and called Nanci away. Oh Man!I knew only God would have the answers to our prayer and as I went to the ladies restroom I knelt down to share my burdens with him....
"Dear God,""thank you for your many blessings,""Give us strength to handle what ever may come our way","I lift my husband and Amy up to you Lord and if it be your will touch their bodies and rid them of their pain" Touch Nanci Lord in a way that she will know "only through you can she find peace with herself!
As I was praying, the nurse called my name, Oh God! What a night this is, What next will happen? Strengthen me O Lord, " I said under my breath" as I was facing the nurse with my own fears and dread of what was happening to my own husband.
As we walked back to his room, she said, "He is going to be ok, we have him stabilized." As I entered the room I seen they had brought him out of intensive care placing him in a private room he was out of critical care, but still in intensive care. After I learned of his condition, I asked about Nanci's daughter,Amy was still labeled critical, she had received a severe head trauma, her brain was swelling, she had broken bones, bruises, and cuts all over her body. The Doctors were extremely concerned with the swelling. The nurse told me it was 50/50. She shouldn't have told me anything, but you know how "us" women are,"we have to stick together.....
Amy's room was just down the hall from us, So I knew where to find them in case I was needed, before the night was over, I was going to find out......"Just how much I was needed"!
As I came into the room with my husband, I saw him in the bed, wires, tubes, and machines of all sorts were hooked up to him. He looked so fragile, but he was alive! Thank you God! Thank you for hearing my prayer.
My husband was a strong man,If anyone could pull through this.....he could. But I was still worried. I walked over to him and took his hand,Oh! How I loved this fellow....He had been my strength for so long, now I am going to have to be his.
Together we can make it. The Lord never meant for any of us to be alone. Even at times we are, we always have his son with us. " I will never leave you or forsake you" Gracious! What strength and hope you can draw from that knowledge of truth.
I have never considered myself as a person of "great faith", but for all the miracles that have taken place in my life, I have seen my faith in God grow in leaps and bounds....Tonight I was a leaping and a bounding, I thought. As I sat with my husband, my mind thought of Nanci and Amy and how they were doing.
Time dragged on, the nurse told me to step out of the room, as they worked on my husband, checking on his vital signs.
Standing in the hallway that early morning, it was cool and quiet. Things had slowed down from the hours before when I had come in. As I walked toward the nurses station, I passed Amy's room. The door was ajar, as nurses had been constantly coming and going. I peeped in and there was Nanci at the side of Amy's bed. Her eyes were red rimmed, her face swollen from crying. She looked so helpless. Nanci looked over to me as I stepped into the room, a quick smile crossed her face as she saw who it was. A familer face, even for a short time, is a comfort in times of anxiety and dread.
Before I came into the room, I had later learned, she had been praying soundlesly for Amy. God listens to your heart, not the sound of your lips. He knows our needs even before we ask. Nanci was thanking God for sparing her child even though Amy was in a coma, from all of the trauma of the auto accident.
We stood side by side looking at Amy, and again the nurse asked me to leave, so they could work on Amy. Nanci came out with me and we walked down to the smoking area. As we walked along, I heard a "sigh escape Nanci's lips". Sounded a lot like one of relief to me. Nanci told me that Amy had slipped into a coma as we had first sat in the smoking area. The Doctors had told her that they did not know how long the coma would last, but a coma causes the body to slow down as it trys to heal itself. It causes only the main organs to function at minimum effort.
Nanci was still scared as we were talking and she was thanking me for my prayers. She said she had thanked God for putting us togeather this night. Then she asked me if I was an ANGEL-- As she had once heard that Angels watch over us, and are visible to us in times of desperation. I laughed and said no, I was no angel, but had a sister named ANGEL. She laughed too. The weight of this burden had been lightened by a moment of humor.
I truly belive that all things do work to the good of those who love the Lord and called according to his purpose. All any of us have to do is look around and we'll see him working for his glory and our benefit. As we came closer to the smoking area, I could see so many others there ahead of us. It was like a bus station. People coming and going, stopping for a cigarette, a coffee, to share a moment of reflection, or just to unwind. As Nanci and I found ourselves a seat, I was noticing that Nanci was beginning to calm down. The past hours had been turbulent for her, for both of us.
As we sat smoking, Nanci began talking. She told me of her fears concerning Amy,( I knew how she felt ,I had plenty of my own.) Nanci and Amy were more like sisters now, rather then mother and Doughter. As Nanci had been an only parent, she used her daughter as her confidont, they shared every thing.
As Nanci and I talked, I tried to share my faith and hope in God. That it was he that kept me together through trying times. It was his peace that kept me from worrying myself to death. I didn't know if Nanci even belived in God or a God, but she told me that she had experienced a great sense of peace within herself. She told me that when she first came in to Amy's room, and seeing her daughter, that she was almost overwhelmed. That she couldn't even really think straight, but a moment later she found herself clutching Amy's hand and mouthing a silent prayer.....
O Lord, if one of us must die, let it be me. And as she looked helplessly at Amy
she said, "My child, my child, would it be possible ? I would bear this pain for you
Oh please ! GOD ! Don't let her die , have mercy and spare her life...."


Nanci said, "I have never cried and prayed as much in my whole life, and if they could get through this, they were going to spend a lot more time in church. The nurse came in calling out Nanci's name, and Nanci grabbed for my hand as we got up together. Look for the worst, hope for the best, flashed through my mind. Something my husband often tells me. I could feel the tension build up through Nanci's hand, the nurse asked us to follow her to Amy's room. As we were turning the corner I could see down the hall to the room. Doctors were standing outside the door, a thousand things were going through my mind --- I remember feeling very scared. I was scared for me and Nanci, I had not experienced death this close before and I was praying to God that Death was not what this was all about. Although I had never met Amy, I felt as though I knew her well, maybe even a close friend of the family. It was totally amazing how in the last 24 hours I knew everything there was to know about Amy. I mean everything that meant anything to her and anything that was going to mean anything to her. As we approached the door to Amy's room the superior Doctor reached his hand out to shake Nanci's hand and to introduce himself. I could see hope in this doctor's eyes. I felt relief as Nanci shook his hand, he kinda gave her enough reassurance that Amy was going to pull through. I went back to my husband's room and they were getting him ready to move him to a private room. The Doctor said, he could go home in a couple of days. "I thanked God again for his many blessings!" After we got my husband settled in, which took about a couple of hours, I was anxious to go check on Amy and tell Nanci my good news. I wanted her to meet my husband now that he was in a private room he could have visitor's. I stepped off the elevator and started toward Amy's room the nurse at the station stopped and asked could she help me. I explained; I was a friend of Nanci's and was just going to check on her and Amy. With sadden eyes she told me, Nanci and Amy had just left. It seemed the Doctor and Nanci was talking to a specialist his office was in Durham N.C and he wanted to fly her there immediately to keep a close watch on her. I was so sad I said I didn't even get to tell her good - bye. Then the nurse said OH! I almost forgot, Nanci left this note for you! With trembling hands I took the note, I knew in my heart I was going to need a cigarette. So with note in hand......Off to the smoking area I went.............
I lit a cigarette sat way over in the corner unfolded the piece of paper in my hand, The note read:
Dear Kathie,
I only have a few minutes, The Doctor has requested That I take Amy to Durham N.C.
That is where his practice is, He said he needs to have her there, where he can keep a close
watch on her.
Kathie, He does give me hope where Amy is concerned. He said we would just have to
take it one day at a time.
You are my "Angel", You gave to me more than I ever could hope for! Strength, when I was
weak, Kindness when I felt hate, A smile when sadness overtook me, But most of all, you
taught me how to have faith! My faith in everything had grown very dim, and looking to God
for the answer was not an option for me, thank you for restoring this in my heart! You touched
my life in a way that I know I will never be the same!
I pray that your husband comes out of this ok, you deserve this happiness! You will always be
in my prayers, and there will always be a place in my heart where you touched that will
never go away!
I have to go, They are telling me that Amy is ready to leave, Good Luck, and May God Bless You!
Love,
Nanci

My heart was broke! The tears were flowing like rain, I was so sad that I never got to tell her good-bye.
Yet I was so very happy that Nanci had got to talk to a Doctor that did have some positive thoughts!
I don't think Nanci ever knew how much of a blessing she was to me! I was sitting there crying, smoking, thinking of all I had just went through. A thousand questions in my mind, yet no answers!
I was still staring at the note, when I felt a hand touch my shoulder. I looked up and there stood a lady that
was looking at me with a glimmer in her eyes. She said, "I couldn't help but hear your cries,
I thought maybe I could lend you a ear. I'm good at listening! And I have nothing but time!" I smiled at her as I wiped a tear from my cheek and said, "Hi! My name is Kathie" I slid over for her to sit down with me. She said, "Hi! my name is
Angel.......................