The Proudest Moment of my Life

         I was dragged there. I didn’t want to be there. The lobby was full of people filling out the applications to apply for a part in the play. I couldn’t believe I was standing there with an application in my hand. My stomach was filled with butterflies and I felt like I was going to be sick. My friend, Katie, excitedly led me to a seat to fill out the application. Katie was the one who dragged me there. She knew I had always wanted to be some sort of star on stage, my parents even said I had a knack for being too dramatic (although I don’t think they had meant it as a compliment at the time). But me?? Trying out for a play? That was unheard of! I am the shy silent girl who can’t even speak in front of the class! I hated being in the spotlight and my face would turn so red from embarrassment which made me ever more embarrassed. What was I doing in this theatre trying out for a play? I must have lost my mind, and I nearly lost my nerve but Katie kept going at me.
         Before the tryouts Katie had called and had me come over to her house where we practiced singing for the audition. Katie had been in a play before there, she said you had to sing but she had sung in a group. She had just tried out for the chorus after all and had gotten in. I said all I wanted was the chorus too then. It seemed a much easier and less stressful thing to try out for. But my voice was never good, it wasn’t bad (band helped me to at least stay in tune) but it wasn’t great. I could blend very well with other people but the thought of singing by myself was not something I wanted to do. So I was very relieved when Katie said she had auditioned in a group. Once Katie’s dad returned home we were off to the theatre. My stomach flipped the whole way there in the car. Her dad dropped us off at the stout looking building. I had been here before and knew it was much bigger on the inside then what it looked like on the outside. A sign on the door read: “Music Man Auditions Today” and in we went. The lobby was filled with excited and confident people. I felt very out of place and wanted to hide in the corner.
         A lot of people had music they were going to perform with them. I had nothing but Katie said they would give us something to use. But seeing other people so prepared made me feel even more inadequate then before. I reluctantly filled out the paper and turned it in and was given another paper to give to the lady who called out the names of those next to audition. I didn’t want to enter the stage where the tryouts would be held. I was so terrified I thought I would faint. We were handed a piece of the script in case we wanted to try for a speaking part too. I looked at the script and thought I could do this… but singing… I don’t think so. Many times I tried to convince Katie to let me go and call her dad to come pick me up or to at least let me go into the lobby to wait until she was done. The first name was called out and the girl went up to the stage and sang, but she sang alone. It was then I realized I would have to get up on that stage and sing by myself to the people- the strangers- that were sitting out in the audience. The director wasn’t there, he was sick so there was a camera there in his place. That didn’t make me feel any better. We were at the end of the long list of people so luckily not many people were going to be in the audience when I was going to totally humiliate myself.
         I leaned over to Katie and whispered, “I can’t do this! When they call off my name I’m just not going to answer.”
         Katie turned and gave me a look, “Do what you want but I’m at least going to try.”
         Those words stung me; I wasn’t even going to try. I waited in nervousness and anticipation for when it would be my turn and whether or not I’d have the stomach to go. Katie’s name was called. “Good luck!” I called to her as she went up on the stage. She introduced herself and then sang happy birthday to the crowd. Everyone applauded and she came back with a look of relief and pride on her face. I wanted that look too.
         I started when I heard my name next. Katie turned to me, “Are you going to go?”
         I looked at her, then at the stage and sighed. I nodded at her and got up to the lady and handed her my slip of paper. I walked up the stairs trying to boost myself to be ready for what was coming and to prepare myself for the humiliation. The lady by the camera looked at me with a stern face and told me to introduce myself and the song I was singing. The lights were blinded in my eyes and I was the only soul on the stage. I prayed for my face not to turn as red as I knew it could. I was terrified yet burning with excitement. That got rid of my stage fright and I looked out in the crowd and said my name and the song I was going to sing. The piano started up and I sang. The whole time the back of my head kept repeating over and over Oh my God! What am I doing? Am I really doing this?
         It was over soon though and I smiled and walked off the stage towards Katie who hugged me. I did it… I faced my biggest fear and I got up and put myself in the spotlight, a bright spotlight not to mention. I had put all of my fears of being laughed off stage, of being ridiculed, of being made fun of till the end of my days, of tripping on the stairs going up or down the stage, of turning so red people would make me stop and ask if I was ok, of making the biggest fool out of myself then ever before, on hold. And I got up on that stage… and I sang. I sang to so many strangers and the only friendly face out there was that of Katie’s. But I didn’t care, I sang anyway. I did it. All those times I never thought I would ever be able to make it in any kind of drama thing was proved wrong. I had just proven to myself exactly what I was made of. And now my grin matched that of Katie’s- both full of pride and relief.