Poem inspired by books I've read on eating disorders & the way I feel |
83) Victorious. 2001. The years have grown shorter As I have become older, But I still feel the pain Of my time gone by Inside my fat, aching heart. Though time and distance Seem to banish such thoughts From this numb, dead head That still falls apart. Is this what they mean When they say I got over it? Say I’ve come through it? Say I’ve achieved leaving The past behind? They’ve only seen what I’ve told them Ignored what I’ve hidden from them; Dismissing the heartache, the anger, the rage. Not seeing my sadness, nor my hope And not me, When me, myself’s still trapped in a cage. They didn’t see my longing To feel wanted or loved Or be worth something again. I’m sick of pursuing a life that’s not mine, I’m sick of wasting their precious time. I stand in false victory, A product of therapy, A piece with no history But heartfelt misery. More lost than found In adopted normality, I’m a technicality In the way of reality, This isn’t victory, I’ll die in recovery. If you're having any problems with weight and other body image issues, may I be as bold as to suggest you check out my best friend's forum? "Invalid Item" |