love beyond a lifetime

         Christmas was supposed to be a happy time, but for Lilly it was a heart-wrenching experience. It was to be the first time in fifty years that she wouldn’t be spending it with her husband Tom. Just a few months earlier Tom had died of cancer that he had battled for years. Tears came to Lilly’s eyes as she remembered their last conversation.

         “Lilly, I know that my time is growing short. I know that sounds cliché, but hey I was always known for those clichés,” Tom said with a cough and a wheeze.

         Lilly looked lovingly at Tom. He was once a strong, proud man. The pride was still there, but there was nothing to the man that she had married so many years before. The cancer that he had been fighting had wreaked havoc on his body. His skin literally hung off his bones and none of his clothes fit right anymore. His eyes were sunken and there were dark circles under them; but the love and joy that was there the day that they married was ever present and made his pale blue eyes shine.

         “Oh Tom, what am I going to do without you. I haven’t been alone in a long, long, time. I am not sure that I’ll be able to make it by myself,” Lilly said as she took his hand in hers and tears filled her eyes. But like Tom she was proud and those tears never left her eyes. They remained there and made her green eyes glisten, but in a way so different from her husband’s. As much as he tried to get her to smile, the sadness that she felt in her heart, and that was seen in her eyes, couldn’t be broken through with his words of love and kindness.

         “Lilly, you are going to be fine. You are a strong woman. You raised ten children, worked to make sure those children didn’t go without, and made sure that I didn’t go without,” he whispered the last words, so that they were as soft as his eyes.

         “But the children are grown and have children of their own. You were the one I cared for, you were the one I needed to be there for.”

         “Lil, those kids still need you as much now as they did then. You are still their mother and nothing will ever change that. Besides you know I will always be with you. No matter what may happen,” he said and then started coughing.

         Lilly knew her time with Tom was short. “I love you Tom, and I always will. Please remember that,” she whispered as she leaned toward him to give him one last kiss.

         In between the coughs Tom managed to use his last few breathes and tell his wife that he loved her, and that he always will. It was almost as if with those words, he knew it was okay for him to leave. Lilly sat beside his bed for many minutes after he stopped breathing and just held Tom’s hand.

         “Goodbye, Tom,” was all she said as the tears started flowing down her face.

         Lilly shook her head to bring
her thoughts back to reality. Her children were there and so were their children, and even their children. The house rang with the sounds of laughter and the pounding footsteps of children. A small smile came to Lilly’s face. Tom would have loved to see all his family together, unlike so many years before when there was always something else going on so they all couldn’t be there.

         “Hey mom, there's a delivery person at the door. Says that he needs you to sign for something,” she heard someone call from that front of the house.

         Lilly got and made her way to the door. Stepping over toys and bags and kids, she wondered what had arrived. She hadn’t ordered anything, and all of the kids were here so there would be no packages from them, so she couldn't figure out what was going on.

         “Hello, ma’am. I just need you to sign right here please,” the young deliveryman said as he handed her the pen.

         “Yes, all right,” she replied as she signed for the brightly wrapped box.

         “Thank you ma’am, and have a Merry Christmas,” he answered as he handed her the box.

         “Yes, you too.”

         Lilly took the box into the room where everyone was sitting and chatting. No one really noticed her as she sat in her rocker. She stared at the package for a few minutes and realized that her name on the envelope was written in her dear Tom’s handwriting. She opened it and pulled out a simple card. On the outside was a heart with the words ‘to the one love’ above it. Her eyes started to tear over as she opened the card. Lilly read the words inside over and over again.

         “Just so you won’t be alone this Christmas or ever. I love you Lil. Tom.”

         Even when he left here he had managed to bring joy to her during the holidays. She stared at the package for several long minutes before she decided to open it. She finally removed the paper and bow that covered the small box. She got to the small paper box, and lovingly caressed it. Tom’s hands had touched the box and it gave her peace.

         “Grandma, what’s in the box?” one of her granddaughters asked.

         “I am not sure. Should we open it?” she asked as the little girl climbed into her lap.

         The mop of blond curls on the small child’s head flopped this way and that as she nodded her head in agreement. Lilly laughed softly and opened the box with the little girl’s help.

         “Oh boy, grandma! A movie!” she said excitedly as Lilly pulled the tape out of the box. “Can we watch it? Can we watch it?”

         Lilly nodded her head and got up and put the tape in the VCR. She sat down and pushed the play button on the remote. A few moments later pictures of Tom and Lilly’s wedding appeared on the screen, followed by pictures of their honeymoon. Soon it was pictures of Lilly and Tom with each of the children as they came home from the hospital. Lilly watched as her life passed before her in pictures on a VHS tape. The last picture was Tom and Lilly at their 50th wedding anniversary. By this time all the talking had stopped and all were watching the video.

         Lilly couldn’t take her eyes off the screen. Tom himself then came on the screen. It was before the cancer had taken over his body totally and he still looked healthy.

         “Hey, Lil. I know that when you get this I’ll be gone. I just wanted you to know that I may be gone in body, but I will never leave you in spirit or leave your heart.
         As you can see from the pictures you just watched, we had a long and wonderful life together. We have ten beautiful children, and have grandkids popping out great-grandchildren left and right,” Lilly smiled at this and all in the room laughed.

         “We have been through a lot, you and me. When I first saw you I knew that you were the one I was going to marry. You were the only one I could see spending that rest of my life with. Granted there have been tough times, we got through them all with love. I may not be there now Lil, but please know that what we had will always be. I love you Lil, and I always will. I hope you remember that and know even now you are in my heart and will stay there until we meet again. I love you and everything that you have done for our family and for what you will continue to do. Merry Christmas, my love,” with that the screen went blank and Lilly could feel tears run down her face. They weren’t tears of sadness however; but rather tears of love and joy that Tom had given to her through the years.

         “Merry Christmas, Tom,” she whispered as her family gathered around her in wrapped her in the love that Tom had passed on through his family to give his wife.