Marital Bliss, Yeah, Right!

Cast of Characters:

Hailey Mandelli, 27,returning home for her
best friend's wedding.

Kayla Madison, 27, Bride to be.

Brianna Noel, 27, Best friend of Hailey and
Kayla.

Jacob Taylor, 30, Groom to be.

Chase Miller, 38, Friend of the groom.

Caleb Taylor, 26, Cousin of the groom.

Anita Mandelli, 56, Mother of Hailey

John White, 26, Hailey ex-boyfriend

Time
The Present

Place
Act One
Scene One: Mid-afternoon, Logan International Airport, Boston, Mass.



ACT ONE, SCENE ONE


Logan International Airport: (An airline terminal. It is mid afternoon and the airport is at it's normal peak of activity. Hailey Cooper has just sat down to wait for her flight to Chicago. She is in her mid-twenties, thin, attractive, and intelligent, but somewhat reserved. While Hailey is immersed in her own thoughts, she doesn't notice the activity around her; people standing in line, talking, people walking to and from their next flight.)

Hailey: (As she stands up the lights dim. She walks to the center of the stage. As she begins to talk, the activity behind her slowly subsides. She addresses the audience.)

I desire a man. Any man. There I said it. Please forgive me for being . . . vulgar. I wouldn't openly admit that and I only say that because I know you would never tell a soul. Now let me see. Where is he?
(As she glances around the gate area, characters come to life. A businessman hurries across the stage. She watches him and then turns back toward the audience.)

Too edgy.
(Next a grandfather with an armload of Disney sovenirs passes)

Too old.

(In a corner on the other side of her lights up on two men sitting rather close to each other and engaged in a conversation.)

They appear a little to. . . interested in each other. Well, maybe not any man. Maybe I should take the advice that I give my friends when they complain that they're single. I tell them 'to get a life. That it's not a guy they're missing.' Girl power and all that, right? The only thing is that I'm soooo tired of being single . . . of meeting the same beef heads and dorks again and again. The guy who tells me how much he respects me and then without missing a beat, he pounces on me like some psychotic octopus, hands everywhere. I manage to fight him off, but only by swiftly kicking him in the groin and then pushing him out the door. So much for a romantic evening. They have the nerve to call me the next day and ask me out again. 

         What I need is a nice, reasonably attractive, decent man. Someone friendly. Approachable. Someone, who will at least try to understand me. Someone to take the time to listen to what I want, to feel what I feel, to want to go through things together. Someone with whom I could flirt. That is all. Just flirt. 

         One of my best friends, Kayla Madison, is getting married. That's why I'm flying home to Chicago. She will be the second one to get married out of the three of us. Brianna was the first. That was actually no big surprise. She dated Jacob all through high school and college. Kayla asked me to be one of her bridemaids, while Brianna steps in as her matron of honor. Actually, we have an arrangement between the three of us. I was Brianna's maid of honor, Brianna is Kayla's and Kayla will be mine, but it looks like that won't happen anytime soon. What's the quoate? 'Always a bride's maid and never a bride.' Well, for me its Always a bride's maid and maybe a maid of honor but never a bride.  

         Anyway, Kayla's wedding will make five weddings in the last eight months. Do you know how much money I've already spent on dresses alone? Almost a thousand dollars. Then there's the wedding presents, the shower gifts, bachelorette parties, and travel expenses.

(Hailey shakes her head)

I know what you are thinking . . .just tell Kayla that I can't make it to her wedding. I can't back out. Kayla knows about the other weddings and I've known her a lot longer than I have the others. The next two weddings are cousins. My mother would never let me hear the end of it if I even mentioned backing out of their weddings. I'm glad I have a good job and make good money. You know the real kicker here? I don't even have a date that I can bring to any of these weddings. I was hoping that maybe I'd be going out with someone by now.

         Honestly, I never thought Kayla would be next. I mean Kayla's thinking was that monogamy and men were overrated. I asked her a long time ago, 'Don't you think someday, someway you will possibly meet Mr. Right and want to get married?'

Kayla: (enter stage right)

All I said was,'what makes you think there is just one Mr. Right? Maybe humans weren't meant to be with the same person their entire lives. I haven't met a man yet whom I wanted to spend more than a few hours with.'

Hailey: I want to find someone to spend the rest of my life with . . .to have children. . .to grow old with . . . to . . .

Kayla: (Interrupting her)
don't forget about the dog and the white picket fence. . . and then when you turn forty-five, divorce court, when he leaves you for a young woman.

Hailey: You're such a pessimist.

Kayla: No, just liberated, Hailey. Do you really believe a man and a woman can live together monogamously and peacefully for thirty years or more and be happy? Personally, I can have the dogs, the white picket fence and the kids too, but I don't need to get married in order to have all that. Just give me the sperm buddy and be on your way!

Haliey: Well, at least you don't have to deal with your mother. What little contact I initiate is too much.

Kayla: Is she still trying to fix you up with every available man at the hospital she works at?

Hailey: Yes. I can't believe her sometimes. Our taste in men is very different. I guess mothers always think they know what's best for their daughters. My mom starts crying everytime I tell her I'm not getting married.

Mom: (enters crying)

You're going to deprive your own mother of grandchildren. After everything I've done and sarcificed for you.

Hailey: Mom, we've been through this already. You know you have two sons, both of whom are presumably fertile and married.

Mom: (still crying)
but you're my only daughter.

(mom exits crying harder)

Hailey: I can't win. It's not that I don't appreciate her help . . . We just have very different ideas on the matter.

Kayla: At least your mom is trying to do something constructive by setting you up on dates. All my mom does is whine and press the guilt button about planning the wedding.

Hailey: I'm not sure I would call her matching constructive. The last guy she set me up with was a real loser.

Kayla: Your mom can't fix you up with one of those young handsome doctors like you see on the soaps?

Hailey: No, it's more like the hospital lab worker who is definitely lacking in the social skills department. He kept on talking about blood products. I haven't been able to eat tomato
sauce ever since. Besides, most of the doctors my mom works with are already married and all of their friends are married. You're my last single ally.

Kayla: Well, if I meet a decent guy, I may send him your way.

Hailey: What other options do I have for meeting available men?

Kayla: You could always place a classified ad. single white female, 27, looking for handsome single white male with a hot bod . . .

Hailey: (interrupting)
Isn't that how you met Rosco . . . I think I heard on the radio that he was just indicted on racketeering charges.

Kayla: He was very charming
(she is silent for a moment as she thinks about him.)

Hailey: Kay didn't he . . .

Kayla:(interrupting again)
He took me to an extremely expensive restaurant, bought me a box of chocolates, and a single red rose.

Hailey: He wanted you to run drugs for him, Kayla.

Kayla: Okay, so I met one bad apple, but that's no reason to discredit the whole process. I met other men who were decent.

Hailey: Oh, yeah, right. What about the one guy who was married and the other one who almost talked you into making a porno video for him.

Kayla: Ok, ok, so I met my share of disappointments too, but most of them were normal.

Hailey: I'd like to think I have higher standards than just meeting someone "normal".

Kayla:(Offended) Are you saying I
don't have standards?

Hailey: No, I'm not. I guess what I am saying is that I am a just bit more selective about whom I choose to go out with.

Kayla:(gently)
Well, . . .you know maybe if you weren't so picky, you'd be married by now.
(The lights dim on Kayla and she exits)

Hailey:(silence for a few minutes)
I don't know. Maybe she's right, maybe I am too picky. Obviously, since we had this conversation she has met someone whom has changed her mind. She's getting married. Now, however, is not the time for anger or self-pity. I need to take control, to recapture the carefree spirit I'd somehow lost . . .I . . .

(Suddenly something catches Hailey's eye. Turning her head, she sees a new passenger enter the gate area. She looks back toward the audience.)

Hailey: Oh, yes. My skin is prickling.

(She turns back towards him and for a moment just watches him. As he reaches the ticket counter and lifts his sunglasses, he smiles at the ticket agent.)

His smile is devastating with perfect white teeth. My heart just did something it hasn't done in years---it gave one hard thump against my rib cage. Nearly knocked me over! I mean, I had to take a couple of steps to regain my balance. Just looking at him has made some long dormant part of me stir to life.

(Hailey watches him as he takes a seat across from her. He takes off his sunglasses and stows them away in his duffel bag. Dropping the bag at his feet, he takes a moment to make sure his computer disks rests safely on top. He sits down in his seat to wait for his flight.)           I think I found my man. Now all I have to do is catch his eye and prove to myself that I can do what comes naturally to a woman as shopping . . .flirt. I have to flirt his pants off . . .of course, and disappointingly, that's only figuratively speaking.

(The lights dim on Hailey as she goes back to her seat. The lights now light up the whole stage and the busy traffic of people in the airport begin again. Finally, the lights start to dim and focus on the man sitting in the gate area across from Hailey.)

Chase: (Exhaustion pulled his head back and he closed his eyes. After a few minutes he brings his head forward and opens his eyes and address the audience.)          I am getting too old to put in these sixteen hour workdays for weeks on end. What I wouldn't give to just pass out for the duration of the flight? (stands up and lets out a big sigh)          Unfortunately, I have too much on my mind to give in to sleep---like the big gaping hole in my life where a wife and some children should be. I am sorry, I don't mean to dump my problems on you, but I will.
I'm just returning from my twenty year high school reunion. What a reality check that had been! I still couldn't believe my former class mates have children in college, while I hadn't even gotten married. One of these days, I really need to look into doing something about this lack of a personal life. The problem is, I enjoy my job a little too much. Make that way too much. I love everything about my work. . . well, except the demanding schedule that has left me little time for things like . . . dating.          (Chase returns to his seat and closes his eyes and the lights dim out. As his mind searches for possible solutions, a jangling thud sounds right before him. He tunes it out easily. His work for the past, fifteen years had taught him to tune out all manner of chaos. The bump on his leg, however, wasn't so easy to ignore.)

Hailey:(anxiously)          I'm so sorry. Please excuse me.

Chase: (opens his eyes and finds a woman crouched before him as she reachs beneath his seat. He looks towards the audience as the lights just dims on his surprised.)          I could say something here, you know what any other man would be thinking or maybe dreaming. I mean it's not everyday that there's a woman crouched in front of me. Am I disappointed? Yes! (the light shines back on Hailey and Chase)

Hailey:(rushing to gather pens, breath mints, a paperback novel, a pair of reading glasses. some loose change, a set of keys, and several business cards.)          I swear, I'm such a klutz today.

Chase: (shaking his head, he reaches for a runaway tube of lipstick only to have his hand collide with hers. The lipstick tried to skitter away, but he grabs it before it escapes. Chuckling)          Gotcha! (He lifts his head to address the lipstick owner and found himself face to face with her. The lights dim on Chase. Kneeling he addresses the audience.)
She's the most enchanting woman I have ever seen. When she spoke to me, her breathy voice reached inside of me and tied my stomach into knots of pure desire.(The lights now shine on both of them.)

Hailey: I really am sorry. It's the flying, you see. . .(She places a hand over her chest)
Planes make me nervous.

(Chase's gaze dropped to her hands, which rested right at the point of her v-collared shirt. His gaze snaps back to hers. She gives him a patient little smile as if waiting for him to say something in return. Only, he couldn't remember her last comment; much less form a suitable response.)

Hailey: (laughed lightly)          Not that I'm cruel or anything, but I don't think it's your shade.

Chase:(puzzeled) My shade?

Hailey: No, actually that's my shade. As in my shade of lipstick? (She slowly raises to stand before him. Chase continues to stare at her, she points to his hand)          You're holding my lipstick.

Chase:(glances down)          So I am.

Hilary:(starts to reach for it.)          How gallant of you to rescue it for me?

Chase:(snatches the tube out of her reach) How do I know it's your?

Hailey:(She raises an eyebrow at such an obvious ploy, but her eyes sparkle with mischief)          Now, that is a dilemma.

Chase:(enjoying the game.)          Let's see. . .I suppose I could have you describe it for me.

Hailey:(She tosses her head to one side.)
Alright. ( Her gaze meet his head on, her eyelids dropped to half mast. Huskily) It's round, hard, it's the color of passionate peaches, and when I twist it, it pops .. .up.

Chase: (Numbly, he opens his palm slowly as she takes the lipstick from him.)          So, . . . (swallows hards)          it is.

Hailey: (Her fingertips brushed his palm as she takes the lipstick from him)          I don't know how I'll ever thank you.(She turns and walks away, her hips swaying to a seductive beat. The lights focus on Chase.)

Chase: I watched her, determined to give her a salute of approval the moment she glanced back over her shoulder. But she never did. Even when she took her seat between two other waiting passengers, she kept her gaze avert. That's odd that such an accomplished flirt would leave it at that. Then I remember the flutter of her head, the heightened color of her skin. Either she'd been equally affected by our little game or she wasn't bold as she pretend do be.

Stewardress:(overhead speaker) Attention please at this time we would like to start boarding flight 544. Would all first class passengers come forward. All first class passengers.

Chase:(Started to reach for his daffel bag, but stopped when a white rectangle on the floor caught his eye. One of the business cards that had spilled from her purse. He picks up the card and swings his bag over his shoulder and exits. On stage is Hailey and an elderly woman passenger who witnessed Hailey's and Chases' encounter.)

Elderly Woman: Are you quite all right, dear?

Hailey:(Had her palm pressed to her stomach to still the jitters. She lifted her head.)          Hmm? Oh, yes, I'm fine. Thank you.

Elderly Woman:(persistedly in a motherly concern) Are you sure? You looked a bit flushed.

Hailey: Really, I'm fine. (Hailey addresses the audience) I can not believe I dumped my purse on that man's feet. Not that I had much choice since merely dropping my purse hadn't fazed him. But once I got his attention . . . his gorgeous blue eyes and that slow sexy smile I say it was worth it. At least I remembered how to flirt and that's all the exchange had been, a passing flirtation. I have no need for embarrassment, right? Even if I had let the exchange become entirely too obvious.
(cringing)Oh my god, did I actually describe my lipstick in a phallic way? Actually, I had no business flirting with a stranger. What was I thinking? A total stranger. I shudder to think of the impression I must have given him. My only comfort is knowing I will never have to see him again. At least not after I land in Chicago. In the meantime, I have to get on the plane and with him sitting in first class, I will have to walk right by him.
(Hailey moans, and buries her face in her hands and then exits)



Act I Scene Two

(After the curtains close, the sound of a airplane taking off fills the theatre.)

Pilot:(with the certain still close the pilot's voice flows smoothly over the intercom).
It's a bee you tee ful day in Chicago. The skies are blue and the sun is shining. Another perfect gorgous day in the windy city. The temperature right now is a cool 65 degrees. Passengers please remain seated until notified otherwise. We will be disembarking in exactly four minutes. We're twenty minutes ahead of schedule. I hope you enjoyed your flight to Chicago. Thank you for choosing to fly with Pioneer Airlines. Have a good day.

(The curtains open to a hotel room. There is a suitcase on the bed open. Hailey enters and walks over to the suitcase and picks up a linger and slips it onto a hanger. She expected to wear it, but she didn't know why nobody special was going to see her in it.

Hailey          Well, I made it home, and yet I should feel good, comfortable, right? I don't I feel like I am walking on eggshells. It's not because of my mother. Of Course, I know she will start on me as soon as she sees me, but I expect and prepared for it every time I come home.
          Do you actually believe that I'm more afraid to see my two best friends than my mother?
Knowning what Brianna has and what Kayla will have. Perhaps it's knowning that I will be the only one left alone when everything is over. That's what scares me the most. Not being able to find anyone and growing old alone. I should be more like Kayla. She knows what she wants and goes out and gets it which is great for her. I mean if she was feeling unadored, she'll let some poor soul moon over her for a while and go out with him even if she really didn't care, just for something to do, and then blow him off when she got bored... I don't know if I could do that...or could I?

(Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Hailey walks over to the door, which is off stage. All at once, there is a loud piercing scream and Hailey, Kayla, and Brianna race over to the bed full of gaggles and giggles as if they were fifteen years old again.)

Hailey: It's the bride to be! Nervous yet? Wait, don't tell me . . . You met someone else and the wedding is off.

Kayla; (not amused)Ha, ha, very funny. Actually, I'm glad that it's almost over. All the planning, that is. As for the wedding, I couldn't be happier. I can't believe it's tomorrow.

Hailey: So how's Jacob holding up?

Kayla: Oh, he's fine. You'll meet him tonight at the rehersal dinner along with his cousin from California, who you will be walking down the aisle with.

Brianna: Hailey, dear if he looks anything like the one I have to walk with you will be in heaven.

Hailey:(shocked) Brianna!

Brianna: Oh, please Hailey, spare me the good catholic girl stuff. I'm only married, not dead.

Hailey:(turning toward Kayla) See what you have to look forward to.

Kayla: Isn't Caleb a babe? My new brother. He isn't the best man, but I guess he's in the top ten. Of course, I am about to marry his brother, who is number one, so maybe I'm baised.

(Silence filled the air between the three friends.)

Hailey: You must have a hundred things to do besides visiting me.

Kayla: (sigh in relief) No, not really. All the important details are really taken care of. My mother is the one who is really freaking out.

Brianna: Let's not talk about that, let's talk about Hailey.

Hailey: (shocked)Me! But Kayla's the bride shouldn't we be talking about her.

Brianna: Yes, and I am not trying to steal her thunder. It's just you're more exciting because you're single.

Hailey: Believe me, Brianna I am not that exciting if there was something exciting happening I would tell you.

Kayla: Well, why don't you tell us who is your boy toy for this weekend.

Hailey: I . . . don't . . . have one.

Brianna: Why?

Kayla: Come on, Hailey. So you have one bad date experience and you give up.

Hailey (offended) I didn't give up. I just
. . .got . . .busy.

(Both friends gave her a unconvincing look of approval)

Brianna: Ok, I see it. You didn't want to waste a perfectly good hotel room on someone you're not going to be comfortable feeding strawberries to in bed.

Hailey (agreeing) Exactly. And you did say that the groomsmen are all cute and single, right? Mmmmm (She images a beautiful stranger in a tux and top hat. He enters throught the closet. The lights dim to a romantic setting. The stranger is tall, dark, and handsome. He glides and dances his way over to Hailey. She finds him irresistible. He is the one true love of her life. The one she's been waiting for. He takes her in his arms and dances her around the room. When he dips her in center stage. She notices that he has no face.

Kayla: I guess that's smart. I know what you mean you don't want to get caught bring a weiner to a steak dinner.

Brianna: That's such a beautiful analogy, Kay.

Kayla: I know but it's true.

Hailey: Wait a minute, now. I don't think we share the same philosophy when it comes to guys. It's not like looking for a one night stand. I'm not like how you . . . use to be. I'm sorry.

Kayla: No, don't be sorry, Hailey. You're right, you were always the good girl and I'm a slut.

Hailey: That's not what I meant, Kayla. I just. . . think meeting some random guy at a wedding and fooling around for the night that's just not what I need or want right now.

Kayla:Hey don't knock it until you have tried it. Some of my best memories were one night stands. That is until Jacob came around.

(All three woman laugh.)

Hailey: I don't want to try it. I don't want to hook up with some guy who just wants to spend the night in my room the first night I meet him.

Brianna: So, maybe you'll meet someone tonight, and then you can save the hotel room for tomorrow night.

Hailey: Yeah right, I just want to finally meet someone who understands me. Who appreciates me? Someone I don't have to explain myself to. Someone I can really fall in love with. Someone who's going to be in it for the long haul. Can't you understand that?

Kayla: Of course, I can. Don't you think I want that too? Every woman does or says she does anyway. But the kind of guy you're talking about doesn't exactly grow on trees, you know, The guy who grows on trees are the one who swings from them. But to get to that real place with a guy to where he wants to be with you for the long haul and you do too well, that takes time. There's no way around the time thing. Believe me, I've been there too. A lot of guys want to sleep together right way. But that doesn't mean he's always going to disappear the next morning. Sometimes you really can tell what he's thinking and then if he's Mr. Right, well, you've got to nab him. If he's Mr. Right now, then hey sometimes that can be fun too. Sometimes you really can't tell where he is coming from, and he doesn't know either. It's complicated but you just have to give things a chance to know how they're going to work out.

Brianna: You should give it a chance.

Hailey: But what does that mean? Shaking up in the toilet during your wedding weekend?

Kayla: Hey it's your room. Don't let me tell you what to do. Or not to do. I just want you to have a good time.

Brianna: Maybe you'll be swinging from the trees with the monkeyes.

Kayla: What time is it?

Brainna: It's four-forty-five. Why?

Kayla: Well, better get going we have rehearsal in fifteen minutes.

(Kayla and Brianna start walking toward the door when they noticed Hailey not following them they stop.)

Kayla: Are you coming, Hailey?

Hailey: Yes, just give me a few minutes to freshen up. I'll meet you down there.

Kayla: Ok, don't be too long.

(Kayla and Brianna exits)

Hailey: (she sits down on the bed and addresses the audience. The lights dim on her.) Actually, I'm beginning to think that they are right. I should keep my options open and you never know maybe I will meet someone this weekend.
Perhaps that stranger from the airport will show up tonight . . .well, I guess wishful thinking never hurt anyone. (Hailey sits on the bed for a few minutes reflecting at what she had said. Suddenly there is a knock on the door. She walks over to the door and opens it. Enters a woman around the age of 58.)
Hailey:(following Anita then stops)

Anita: You would think that my only daughter would call me when she got into town, but no I had to find out for myself that you landed safely.
I don't know why you insist to fly with all the plane crashes and terrorists. You could have drove. But no you had to do things your own way and make me worry.

(Silence finally fall between the two. Anita then holds open her arms and Hailey reluctly walks over to her. Anita embraces her and kisses her on the cheek and then she lets go.)

Hailey: Mom, what are you doing here?

Anita: What? I can't come visit you? You move a thousand miles away, you hardly call or come visit and then when you do come to town you act like I have some sort of disease.

Hailey:(losing her patience)Mother, I just asked what are you doing here?

Anita:(angry) Hailey Cooper, don't take that tone with me. Now, if you are ready. We have to get downstairs to the luncheon and rehersal.

(Hailey grabs her purse and casually walks out of her hotel room still agruing with her mother.)



ACT 1 SCENE 3
(Curtains open to a restuarnt. It is not very busy. Kayla's party includes the bridal party, her parents, Hailey's mom, Chase, and John. Anita enters with Hailey following her. Anita kisses Brianna and Kayla.)

Anita: Girls, it's so good to see you. (sits) Brianna Noel. I haven't seen you in months, darling. Where have you been?(She doesn't wait for Brianna to answer)Hailey, you look so thin. Have you been eating? I knew it was a mistake for us to let you go to Boston. I told your father that you couldn't cook for yourself. Now look at you. You're skin and bones. At least I know you'll get a good meal if I take you out to eat . . . but my god, does this place have good food?

Hailey:(leaning over to her Mother)Mother . . . please. This is Kayla's day. She picked the restaurant. I have eaten here before. They have terrific food.

Anita: Honey if you wanted terrific food, you go to a nice Italian restaurant. What's wrong with Mario's?

Hailey: Nothing is wrong with Mario's. Maybe Kayla just wanted something different.

Kayla: We would have gone there Mrs. Cooper, but Jacob doesn't like Italian food.

(Anita looks at Hailey and Kayla as if they just killed her.)

Anita: He doesn't like Italian food. How is that possible? Hailey, how could that be?

Hailey: I don't know mother.

Anita: He doesn't like Italian food, but he likes Japanese food. What is that? I've been alive almost sixty years and I have never tried Japanese food.

Hailey: (interrupting) Well, you should try it.

Anita: We are Italian. We should eat Italian food.

Hailey: I do eat Itailian food, Mom. I just don't want to eat it every day. Let's just drop the subject okay?

Kayla: It really doesn't matter to me, You'll have to go talk to my mom. She is the one who planned this.

Anita: Some Lasagna, a little garlic bread, Cannoli for dessert.

Hailey:(uneasy) I thought we were going to drop it, Mother.

Anita: All right. My lips are sealed (Pantomims zipping her lips)

Hailey: How's daddy doing?

Anita: Your father? Your father hasn't moved from his chair in months. He sits there watching the television all day long. He eats his dinner on a tray and he falls asleep watching the ten o'clock news. He does lift his legs when I have to vacuum under him and twice a day, he gets up to go to the bathroom. I hope he tells me when he's ready to die, otherwise, I might not notice.

Hailey: You and Daddy have a long time to go before you're going to die.

Anita: God willing, we'll be around to see our grandchildren.

Hailey: You're only fifty-eight and dad is only sixty. I think you've got plenty of time.

Anita: All of my sisters are grandmothers already and my own daughter is not even married yet.

Hailey: Maybe you should have had more children if you were worried about having grandchildren.

Anita: But you were such a problem pregnancy. The doctors didn't think I'd even be able to hold you for nine months. Oh, I was so sick. I was in bed for weeks. I gained 95 pounds. I could barely breathe and I couldn't walk. I got varicose veins up and down my legs. Your poor father had to keep house. And then the labor came . . . oh, the labor, . . . hours I spent in pain. All of this I did for you.

Hailey: Well, after hearing that horror story, you expect me to rush right out and get pregnant?

Anita: You'd deprive your own mother of grandchildren? You give and give to your children and what do you get in return? Nothing but heartache and pain.

Hailey: Don't you think I want to get married, mother? Don't you think I want to have children? What do you want me to do? Marry someone I don't love just so I can have kids to make you happy.

Anita: But there have been so many nice men. Good men that you let pass by. Like that John form high school. He was a good boy.

Kayla: John White?

Hailey: Yes. He wanted to get married right after graduation. I wasn't ready to get married at eighteen. I wanted to go to college and be out on my own. It would have never work out.

Brianna: I thought he broke up with you.

Hailey:(irriated) NO, I broke it off with him.

Anita: And Now you're alone and for what so you can work the rest of your life.

Hailey: I happen to enjoy my job and I'm good at it. I'm very well respected in my professional field.

Anita: They were the cutest couple. He was from such a nice family.

Hailey: You're not even listening to me, Mom. I haven't met the right person yet. John wasn't the right person and I am not getting married to anyone until I'm sure that it's going to workout.
(Suddenly standing up) Please excuse me, I need a drink.

Kayla: (stood up suddenly) Please excuse me, I'll be right back.

Brianna: Is everything ok?

Kayla: Yes, I just need to say hello to somebody. I'll be right back. (She hurried off to the door where she greets Chase.)

Hailey: (The lights dim as she addresses the audience at the dining table.)
I must admit Kayla looks absolutely stunning. She seemed to be wearing the content smile of someone who found the one true love that every girl deserves. She's glowing, smiling and turning from congradulation to the next. But I also find something distracting perhaps it was the muscular guy who was with Kayla. (Kayla and Chase soon started to walk back towards Hailey.) He looks somewhat familiar. Wait a minute! . . . It couldn't be. The guy from the airport? What is he doing here? He couldn't possibly be related to Jacob. Wait! What am I saying? It wouldn't be that bad if he was. Ohhh, all I can think about is our last conversation we had and how I acted like a big dork! I hope he doesn't remember me . . . then again I lived through other worse embarrassing moments. (excitedly) Oh, my god it is him!

(Light return to normal)

Kayla: Hailey, this is Chase Miller, my darling financee's best friend.

Chase:(stretches out his hand) It is very nice to meet you . . . again.

Hailey:(embarrassed) Yes, . . .it is.

Kayla: (puzzled) Wait a minute, you two know each other.

Hailey: No, . . . I mean yes. We do. Sort of.

Chase: We . . . had a run in at the airport in Boston and a rather pleasent conversation about lipstick, right?

Anita: Oh, how nice.

Hailey: (just shakes her head)

Chase: Mind if I sit here?

Anita: Not at all, of course. How long have you known, Jacob?

Chase: Actually, we grew up together.

Anita: How nice. And you said you know Hailey.

Chase: Yes, we met at the airport.

( A moment of silence between all of them.)

Anita: Do you like her?

Chase:(laughed) I'm sorry?

Hailey:(through her teeth, whispering) Mother . . .please . . .do not . . .embarrass me.

Anita: Who's embarrassing who? I'm just asking a simple question? Did you know that Hailey is single?

Chase: Yes . . . I do.

Anita: Would like to go you out with her? She's a good catholic girl, smart, pretty . . .

Hailey: That's it (Suddenly standing up) Please excuse me,(sighs in frustration) I need a drink.

Chase:No, please it's ok. I have to go. So I guess I'll see you later then.

Hailey: (managed a small smile and watches Chase walk away)

Anita: He's a nice young man.

Hailey: Mother please . . .

Anita: but he's not John.

Hailey:I can't believe you.

Anita: What? I'm just trying to help my daughter get a date.

Hailey: I don't need this not now.

(Disgusted, Hailey walked over to the bar. John enters the room. As he scans the room he sees Hailey at the bar. He walks over to her.)

John: Excuse me?

Hailey: (turns around and facing him she raised her eyes to meet his. She hesitated. It was him. Her ex-boyfriend, John White.) Oh, my God, John. (lights dim) His eyes were brown chocolate, hair dark and thick. His features were aristocratic as I remembered. I didn't think it was possible, but five years added to his looks made look better. He filled out nicely going into manhood. He looked like a movie star.

(lights return to normal)

John: (as though he was dumbfounded) Hailey?
Hailey Cooper? Is that you?

Hailey:(lights dim again) I didn't know what to say. I managed to clear my throat. I felt like a blumbling idiot as he just stared at me. Hi, John

John: Sorry, I don't mean to stare. It's just that--you're--you're beautiful.

Hailey: I gave him a shaky smile in return wondering why he was really saying that.

John: So what are you doing here?

Hailey: Kayla Madison is getting marry.

John: Really. Wow! Kayla Madison, I haven't seen her in years. That's great. Are you . . . married?

Hailey: No, . . .no I don't have a husband yet.
How about you?

John: No, I haven't had time to get married.

Hailey: No, I mean. What are you doing here?

John: Oh, I'm here for a conference. It's for the agency I work for.

Hailey: I see

John: Say, You would like to get together perhaps later for a drink?

Hailey: (surprised) Aahhh. . .

John: Or do you have plans later?

Hailey: No, . . . I could . . . go for a drink. God knows I need one.

John: Great! I'll pick you up around eight. Are you staying at this hotel?

Hailey: Huh, . . .

John: I said (laughed) what room are you in?

Hailey: Oh, I'm sorry. 425.

John: I'll see you then.

Hailey: Ok

(Hailey stood there and watched John as he exits the stage)

LIGHTS END OF ACT I

ACT II SCENE 1

(Curtain open. Hailey is sitting in a chair in the center of stage.)

Hailey: (addresses the audience): I was in shock over the unexpected turn my evening had taken. Early during that day I was daydreaming about meeting some hunky groomsmen and falling in love. And then meeting Chase and learning that he is Jacob’s cousin and that I have to walk down the aisle with him. I must admit I was still embarrassed because of my behavior at the airport. But it didn’t seem to bother him. But then again it wasn’t like he was exactly overjoyed to be meet up with me again. Maybe there isn’t anything there. But then my imaginary dreamboat turned out to be an old dinghy from water under the bridge. John White, (she laughs) I can’t believe my luck. The only person who seemed happy about the whole scenario was my mother of course. I would’ve invited him back to the table, but I know my mother, she would insist on sitting next to John. She wouldn’t have stop cooing over her and blame me for not being with him any longer. I can picture it now.

Anita: (enters rights): Oh, haven’t you grown up to be such a handsome young man, John. Gosh, Just look at you and Hailey all dressed up. I can’t help thinking back to all your high school dances. Oh, you two were just so cute. (Exits)

Hailey: Of course, there would be nothing I could do. But only give her nauseated stares. John would think this was all funny especially when I began to protest. I find nothing funny about it. I feel like I was in the middle of a nightmare and couldn’t wake up. And then, of course, my mother would try to set us up again as if she was a cruise director.

Anita: (enters again wearing a floppy beige straw hat and a soft pink silk suit, with a smile on her face.) Look who it is Hailey! John! Oh, now, isn’t this the most marvelous and look how handsome he looks too!

Hailey: Yeah, right! I don’t know if my mother would be completely oblivious, blinded by the happiness of the day, or if she was trying to play along too. In her own way joining John on the team, gamely shipping through the wedding weekend as if everything were just naturally more and more wonderful. I, however, would feel reluctant to follow either of them aboard the good ship lollipop. Is someone’s playing a practical joke on me? Like my life was made for TV

(An Announcer and a Cameraman enters)

Announcer: Welcome to America’s not So Funniest Wedding Video. Let’s look what happens when we introduce this unknowing bridesmaid to someone she’s sure to recognize from her past.

(The Cameraman and Announcer circle around Hailey and then exit.)

Hailey:(stood at the bar. A champagne glass full of the sparkling drink posed in her left hand.) I was trying to pull myself together enough to preserve my dignity. Well, at least, what little I had left.

Brianna: (As soon as Hailey stepped away from the bar.) Oh, my God! That’s John White? What’s he doing here? Who did you make mad?

Hailey: Yeah, thanks. I know. I should have checked my horoscope. (Shakes her head in sour amazement.) So, would you like to trade shoes with me?

Brianna: (pretending she had to think about it) Um, no why do you want to change. Chase seems nice and he’s bad looking?

Hailey:(She shrugged her shoulders) Aw, come on, you don’t really want to be stuck with Caleb.

Brianna: If you mean on a desert island? You bet I do! (She makes a point of catching Caleb’s eye from across the room and gave him a flirty wave. She then turned a sympathetic eye toward Hailey.) I feel for you, Hailey. I really do. But why do you want to give up on Chase? He’s cute.

Hailey:(stands there for a moment while the sounds and images of the busy restaurant fade around her.) I finally realized that Brianna did have a point. So from my exciting afternoon at the restaurant we went to the church. It was time for the rehearsal. At the time I was a little nervous about actually having to walk down the aisle with Chase. Although our reunion at dinner was not exactly the way I wanted to meet up again with him. Thanks to my mother. The wedding was to take place at St. Paul and Peter’s Cathedral, which was just walking distance from our hotel. It was a beautiful church to have a wedding at with its medieval gothic architecture. The sunlight streamed through the stained glass window and made an exquisite pattern on the cool marble floor. The whispers of the bridal party floated through the sacristy.
The artwork on the walls and ceiling were beautiful.
As our time came to walk, I looked up and smiled at him. A genuine heartfelt smile, not a fake one, appeared over my lips. For a second I almost didn’t know where it came from, but then I realized the source. It was him! There was something real between us, and it wasn’t just going to go away by itself. At least I hoped it wouldn’t. When I smiled up at Chase, for a moment his expression matched mine. Like we were magically sharing the same epiphany, the same time. But again, just as all weekend her ephemeral feeling of connectedness to Chase had surfaced only to disappear an instantly, in a second it was gone. For some reason Chase stiffened when he stepped toward me to offer his arm. He did it so awkwardly that I somehow felt sorry for him. It was clear that he didn’t want to be here---not we me anyway. His discomfort was all the more evident as he hurried me down the aisle, practically stepping on toes along the way. He was forgetting everything, although whether out obstinary or clumsiness, it was impossible for me to tell.
My attempt to make up for his clumsy haste by gently pulling back, trying to slow his gallop to a trot while maintaining my glossy smile, the one that had started out as genuine but was turning more and more false by the millisecond. After another step he fell into pace with me, and our candance was perfect as we walked down the aisle.
John came to my room just before eight o’clock. I don’t know how I felt about going out with John. It had been years since I had last seen him, and to be honest. I had thought about him more than one or two times is the entirely since we had broke up. I don’t know why but I felt a little excited maybe it was my desperation for male attention. And maybe it had to do with the fact that John was successful and more handsome than he had been in college. When I opened the door I find John smiling at me and I smiled back. They went to a small restaurant that he knew not to far from the hotel. I wasn’t that hungry but I didn’t want to be rude, so I order a salad. Surprisely, we spoke very little during dinner, though I was uncharacteristically down three glasses of wine. But I was nervous. I began to feel pretty woozy and suddenly something struck me as funny and I started giggling. John just looked at me.

John: Hailey, um, what’s so funny?

Hailey:(Continue to giggle. Assured him drunkenly) it’s nothing!

John: Are you drunk?

Hailey: (gasped in astonishment and stops giggling) No!

John:(nervously) Um, Hailey, I didn’t think you drank

Hailey:(suddenly sad) I don’t . . . I don’t drink.

John: Then why don’t you lay off the wine okay.

Hailey: I wasn’t drunk, but I was feeling good.

(She finished her salad in silence and she made sure she consumed three large glass of water. In which, afterwards she needed to excuse herself and nearly fell down. Of course, John was a gentleman and stood up. She caught herself on the chair and managed to make her way to the small bathroom without tripping. Ten minutes later, she emerged minus a gallon of water and the majority of her dinner. She felt awful.
They returned to the hotel. John led her through the lobby into the courtyard. Finding a clearing among some flowering rhododendron dinner bushes. They sat down with our backs against one of the thickest tree. The trees were alive with the buzzing insect and the chorus of crickets chirping in unison, their symphony rising and falling in the fading twilight. I slipped easily against john’s chest and let his arms encircle my shoulders.
Hailey suddenly felt subdued, as if all the tension of the wedding, and his presence, and my life hand lifted off my shoulders like a great noisy bird and fluttered off into the shaded boughs above me. John pointed out the moon glowing faintly in silver about the horizon, a narrow crescent with two sharp horns. The evening stars twinkled merely higher up, a brilliant tuaccompaniment against the indigo sky. The continuum from light to dark, from the horizon to the peak of the cappella over our heads, was breathtaking. For a moment, Hailey almost forgot who she was and what she was doing there, so peaceful was it with John, in the clearing. It was as if my mind became a happy screen, where the moon in perfect clarity, and Hailey didn’t have to do anything, didn’t have to work to make it beautiful.
Hailey felt his presence very strongly, perfectly welcome in familiarity. Briefly Hailey became aware of how well knew him, how many details of our lives we had stared, how well we went together, how strongly Hailey was bonded to him. OR maybe it was just the alcohol.
His shoulder and chest, for example, felt as familiar to my as a favorite chair. She had certainly spent many a Saturday night pressed against him, slow dancing in the gym or making out in his car. He was homey and it was the feeling of the home she had left behind a year before. But Hailey wasn’t thinking about that now; Hailey was just easily unaware of the way he felt, somehow able to forget somewhat that he was a completely separate person.
He stirred slightly against the thick humus beneath them. The song of the crickets a crescendo and Hailey looked up at Chase. He was looking down at me, his eyes moist and dark, hidden in his shadowed face. He leaned toward her, and in that moment. Hailey knew that she was going to be kissed. Hailey didn’t know what Hailey was going to feel, let alone do, but she didn’t even consider turning away. Instead, she merely closed her eyes and let lips fall on mine. For a moment all Hailey could feel was the soft, dry crackling of our mouths coming together, all Hailey could hear smell was the musk of his warm body, and Hailey could hear, beyond the roating of the blood and in my ear, was the crickets chorus growing to maximum forlussum, pushing in the warm spring night.
The kiss might have seemed like an eternal moment, but in reality it last for only a couple of seconds hardly long enough for us really to begin to kiss, when Hailey realize what was happening my mind turned completely around with frightening speed. Suddenly Hailey felt reality coming back and in a snap Hailey was frozen and then pushed John away my mind realized what was happening.)



Hailey: This isn’t some adventure in the woods; this is Kayla’s wedding. (Laughing) Oh, my God, oh my GOD John! What are we doing? This is ridiculous---we broke up three years ago.

John:(weak and a little dry) Hailey . . . wait . . .

Hailey:(Sat up on her haunches and grabbed him by the neck of his shirt, as if to pull him up with her.) Come on; let’s get out of here.

(Obligingly he rose to his feet, but when they stood up together, they stumbled into each other’s arms. Hailey grabbed John by the shoulder and steadied him, and for a moment he moved his head as if to kiss her again. But she had her balance about her and placed herself a good two feet apart from him. His chin hung over his chest. Hailey took him by the hand and put her other hand under his chin, lifting it up to look into his eyes.)

John: Hailey

(She felt her heart softening. He looked so handsome in the dim light under the tree. Again she felt herself giving way to her desire to feel his lips against hers. She lowered her hand to encircle his waist and drew herself up to him. He bent down to kiss her, and their tongues fluttered briefly among the hot jumble of their lips. Hailey felt a thousand butterflies whipping their wings in her tummy. She closed her eyes, turning her head to kiss him fully. The sound of the insect and the smell of the woods were over powering. John’s strong hands caressed her back and she gripped him to her tightly, crushing their bodies together in a warm embrace. And then again, just as suddenly as before, the reality of what she was doing hit her. This time, however, she was more startled than before, and it was all she could do to extricate herself from his arms. For a moment she stared into his eyes with shock.)

Hailey:(gasped)Oh my God, . . . John. (She putting one hand to her lips and the other to his then without a word, she pushed him away turned and dart off stage.)

John: Hailey, wait . . . come back. (Calling after her, but she didn’t stop.)