Deep Inside

I'm a very happy person...
except when I'm depressed.
But I can put on a smile...
And make you think I'm at my best.
I hide my lonelyness and fears
I don't want you to see
The hurt and anger and the pain
Welling up inside of me.
People look at me and say
There goes a happy girl
No one really knows
What goes on in my world
No one knows the pain
I go through everyday
I keep my feelings locked inside
I never really say
The hurt I feel each morning
The tears I cry at night
The pain builds up inside of me
But I keep it locked up tight
No one is allowed
To break the seal into my heart
They don't know I put a smile on my face
Even though I am sad right from the start.
My friends tell me I'm cheery
And that I am a clown
No one knows that lurking behind my smile
Is a permanent frown
I hide my pain in happiness
I like to make others smile
It brings me joy to see my friends
Being happy for a while
But sooner or later I'll be alone
With my pain once more
And the hurt will come back so strong
It will knock me to the floor
The tears will make me shake so bad
And I'll cry and cry and cry
Who would ever guess that happy girl
Could be living such a lie?
But I hide my feelings deep inside
You don't know I'm really sad
So if one day you find me crying
Please don't feel too bad
Because I put on my happy face
Even when I am depressed
So that the whole world will always think
That I am at my best
I've learned to hide the anger
I've learned to hide the pain
I've learned to hide the hurt
And with this I've gained
The ability to carry on
And always wear a smile
To make everyone else believe
That their life can be worthwhile
I want the world to be happy
I don't care about me
I want my loved ones to be happy
Which is why they cannot see
That's while outside I am smiling
And joking around
Inside I am crying
And wear a heavy frown,
Because I am a happy person...
Except when I'm depressed.
But I can put on a smile...
And make you think I'm at my best.