Introspection

Introspection

Have you ever wondered how you became the person you are today? Was it nature, nurture, DNA, special gene or a tragic and life altering event? The first few years of our lives are predominately nurture; how we evolve is based on some of the genes in our body and our interaction with the people that surround us.
Are you outgoing or reserved? I define outgoing as a person who mixes easily with others, and has no problems talking to strangers. A person who can enjoy himself or herself no matter what comes along. Reserved people don’t get comfortable around others. They have no problem with people in their own sphere, but put them into a crowd of people and they find it hard to assimilate. They can work with people, but they don’t feel free and easy.

When you were young did you gravitate towards people or did you hang to your parents leg and act shy? Is this a window into how you will develop, as you grow? Our lives are made up by so many different things and or events. This makes it hard to narrow down the forks we took, to get to where we are.

I still cannot distinguish the reason for who I am today. Looking back over a lifetime, I was a happy kid who played sports and had parents who supported whatever sport I chose. I used to tell jokes and laugh at the ones I heard (if funny) and my life was normal.

My father was from Texas and was a very outgoing person. He could stop a stranger on the street, start up a conversation and he was an excellent listener. His Occupation was a Heavy Crew Foreman for the Edison Company in San Bernardino. He got along with the men who were in his crew. I know several times he spoke about listening, giving advise and suggestions to someone that was having problems. He was a good guy.

My mother was from New Mexico, and she was seventh of eight children. She was reserved and did not mingle with strangers. She was comfortable around her friends from church and with family; put her in a room at company-sponsored events with my father and she would stay in the background.

I don’t know if I’ve ever been as forward as my father, but once upon a time I could hold my own. After 13 years of marriage I went through a traumatic event and it changed me forever.

Now it’s like I'm Jekyll and Hyde. When I walk out the door, life becomes serious, and I'm all business. My sense of humor is put in a box. I look at life totally different when I leave my home. I work with people (before I retired) but I did not associate with them. There was no spontaneity in my life, it was straight ahead working towards whatever goals I had set.

How long does it take to come out of a Life altering event? For me it took many years along with a phycologist, friends and family. I don’t think I’ve ever returned to the guy I was before the event happened. Your mindset changes along with what it takes to survive.

One step, one day, one month, one year and one decade at a time. For me I put my faith in Jesus and family. Struggle becomes progress, time becomes hard work and the opportunity to look ahead.

Memories linger in the back of your mind and you often wonder what would have been if things were different. The look into the rear view mirror won’t get you anything but heart ache. Life goes on, so we make the best of the situation and forge ahead.

Make new friends and try to become the man you want to be!