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The rise of the feline empire. |
| [Introduction]
Some years ago, I stumbled across an interactive titled "The Catgirl Empire". In it, all the women on earth have become humanoid cats and basically enslave the men, essentially taking over the world. To be honest, it wasn't very well written. But I kind of found the concept intriguing. So, here's my own take on the idea. It began with the arrival of the first empress, Kleotropa the First. Little is known of her origins, except that she was from a planet far beyond our galaxy, and had been banished from her world. Be it by fate or mere chance, her exile led her to our planet. That was when everything changed. Upon landing on our world, she saw how it's was ravaged by constant war, strife and greed. Perhaps in her mind, she thought that was why she ended up here, to save the inhabitants of this world from themselves. She began to, for lack of a better word, infect as many female humans as she could with her own DNA, transforming them into humanoid felines like her. The transformation granted its subjects her alien physiology as well, extending their lifespan and enhancing their senses. Then, these cat women began to systematically take over the planet, one country at a time. As they did, their numbers only grew, with many other women willing submitting themselves to be transformed. Within a decade, every last human female had been converted. The remaining males found themselves either unable or unwilling to put up much resistance, most of the felines being their wives, daughters and mothers. The earth was now no longer comprised of separate nations, but as a united empire. Under Kleotropa's rule, war, crime and most other societal evils were practically non existent. Science and technology of all kinds flourished like never before in a new renaissance. In a way, she had indeed achieved her goal of saving this world, but at the expense of the male human population, who largely found themselves as little more than servants and breeding stock to their feline overlords. The world formerly known as Earth was rechristened Felainia. And for the last three hundred years, it has lived under the thumb of the Kleotropa and her descendants. |
| My identification is LZ-7139, but my mistress calls my Harem Boy when she needs to keep up appearances. In private, she calls me "Her Favorite Love Toy." Whatever I am called, I consider it an honor to serve my mistress, Empress Kleotropa III. I am the latest in a line of clones created from the DNA of her Grandmother's favorite servant, having been raised since my days in the vat to obey the Empress and fulfill her desires. I know very little of life outside the palace. Sometimes, my mistress has me accompany her into the capital when she feels like going on a trip to various shops in town. Other than that, I'm mostly at her side in the throne room most of the day. I don't know if she ever notices, but I can't help but marvel at her beauty as I kneel in front of her throne, massaging her dainty feet. Her long snow white hair, and gorgeous fur pattern unlike any I've ever seen. Black with white stripes, like a reverse white tiger, just like her mother and grandmother before her. In the back of my mind, I can't help but wonder what life would be like if I were her equal. Not just in status, but species as well. But I know this to be a pipe dream. Males can't be converted, I've been told. Not without suffering a most agonizing demise. I'm not her only harem member, with there being upwards of thirty of us. But I'm definitely her favorite, which I suspect makes the other jealous. It is considered the greatest honor a male can have to be chosen to serve the Empress. But I was not chosen, I was literally created for it. So in a sense, I guess that makes me the best there is at the job. |
| Name's George. It was a common male name once. Now though - well, some males out there don't get names. This family though, it was different. It didn't like the way the Empress had relegated males to little more than servants and breeding stock. As a result, a rebellion had been formed. Got to be smart about it though. Violence brings trouble. We're trying to win hearts and minds - that is the tricky part, but will be worth it. |
| To my surprise, the Empress has asked me to go out into the city on my own to run some errands while she is preoccupied with her royal duties. Of course, I can't just refuse, so here I am wandering the Capital Square, looking for a specific shop. As I do, I pass a public auction where men of all breeds are being sold to the highest bidder. None of them even try to escape, knowing it would be pointless, and would only lead to them being punished. I receive several strange looks, as it's rare to see a man walking around by himself without his owner. I don't dare even think of running away. Even if I wasn't loyal to the Empress, all males are required to wear a tracking collar at all times. Now where is that damned shop? |
| As I walked alongside of my "Owner", I watched the Royal Slave. They were clueless. Sure, the collar could track someone, but there were those who could get around it, especially the abductor sorts. As mother used to say, "Males might have a reputation of being dangerous, but it is females that are the truly dangerous ones." After all, there was a female pirate that controlled a large fleet, one that outgunned the local navy of the time, to say nothing about a noblewoman that murdered and bathed in the blood of several hundred commoner women in order to stay young. There was plenty of horrible females, and plenty still exist. I looked at my "Owner". I will say this about her - she respected me, and my ideas. She was a member of the Rebellion too. She knew that what the Empress had done was wrong. There had to be a way to make it right. |
| There was a ray of hope about to come our way. It was two anthropomorphic cats at a stall at the marketplace. One was really tall and really skinny, had orange fur with a white-tipped tail and a goatee. He wore a white short-sleeve button-up shirt that was too short to cover his midriff, a necktie, and baggy pants. The other was short and portly, had black fur with a white-tipped tail and a goatee. He wore a tank top that was too small to cover his stomach, pants with a belt, and boots. "Step right up!" The tall one announced. "For all those seeking to be rid of Kleotopra the 11th's rule! For we have the tool for her undoing!" My "Owner" and I approached their stand for a closer look. "Welcome, I'm Slim," the tall one said. "And I'm Bob," his partner said. |
| (Um, ThunderX? I thought I made it clear there are no male anthro cats in this world. Only females. I can forgive minor oversights like this, but try to pay a bit more attention to previous additions.) Naturally, it didn't take long for the two males to be approached by a pair of enforcers, who instantly saw them as con artists. Merely human males disguised as cats, and not very good ones at that. "I know men aren't very bright to begin with." One enforcer said as she put the two imposters in handcuffs "But you two must be a special kind of stupid. Dressing up as felines when you're clearly male, and loudly announcing you plan to overthrow the Empress in the middle of a public square." As they were hauled off to who knows what fate, I couldn't help but shake my head at their brazen lack of sense. Even if we're not very high on the social ladder, those idiots give men a bad name. Regardless, I went about my business, finally spotting the shop I was looking for. |
| (Likewise, Foxx and my characters are different people.) "Well, those two were idiots," my "Owner" said, quietly, as we resumed walking. "They'll be lucky if they don't become eunuchs, or dead." "Should of kept their mouths shut," I said quietly. "Lousy choice of clothes too. Barely covered them - even someone with just a bad eye to see with would of have seen something was up." "I have to agree," my "Owner" said. "Now, let's go meet our contact, if they weren't spooked by those two fools getting arrested." |
| Though it was true those two were con artists, but I couldn't help feeling bad for them. Maybe they were members of the Rebellion as well. "What a scam," my "Owner" said. I shook my head, agreeing with her. As long as anyone could remember, there never were any anthropomorphic male cats on the planet. So, two con men dressing up as anthropomorphic cats had to be the worst scam ever. |
| After retrieving the items on my Mistress's list, I made my way back to the palace. She greets me in her chamber with a warm smile. Away from anyone that could possibly overhear, she says "I trust you had a pleasant trip into town?" I nod "Yes, mistress. Although, I did witness two fools being arrested, trying to pass themselves as felines and spouting nonsense about overthrowing you." She chuckled "Ah, yes. Those two that were brought before me a couple hours ago. I was merciful to them this time. But made sure they never attempt such a ploy again. Sometimes I wish all men were like you, My Toy. Loyal, obedient, and knowing of their place. Those fools in the rebellion think me a tyrant, and that they can overthrow me without bloodshed." I nodded again "Fools indeed, your highness. I've heard how this world was before your bloodline. Constant war and strife, terrible diseases spreading across the globe, not to mention widespread crime and turmoil. Why would anyone want to go back to all that?" "Exactly. Under the rule of my line, the world has become a practical paradise, free of all those problems and more. I can't really say I blame the rebellion too much, though. They weren't around then. They don't know what the world was like before my kind. Poor ignorant beasts that they are, they don't realize what they're fighting for will lead to." "So what will you do about them, if I may ask?" "For now, nothing. They think they can defeat me without actually fighting. But sooner or later, they'll make a fatal mistake. Maybe one of them will defect and betray them. Or perhaps they'll be dumb enough to expose themselves like those two dunderheads did this morning. Whatever the case, their cause is hopeless. But enough of such matters. I'm feeling up for a nap. Care to join me?" I eagerly agree, joining her on her velvet bed. The smooth fabric plus her soothing touch is enough to quickly lull me to sleep. |
| War - there had been plenty of that. Pit two people that didn't like each other in the same room, sooner or later, the pretense of politeness wears thin. This will lead to some kind of argument, or altercation. Still plenty of that sort of thing, if one knew where to look Likewise, there was still diseases, and still crime - not that wealthy ones saw them. Besides, someone still has to do the more difficult jobs - folks like their crab, tuna, and cod, but someone has to go out onto the rough seas for those, someone has to do the heavy lifting in labor intensive jobs, and someone has to do the various dirty jobs - jobs that felines hate doing. I'd like to see the Empress try to do some of the tasks male humans do. She wouldn't last a week on the sea, maybe not even a day. Doubt she'd want to dig in a coal shaft. She'd run away from cleaning out a septic system. I would know. My family is one of those that works in the fishing industry. A very deadly job. |
| Yep, fishing is a deadly job. Try spending 10 weeks on a fishing boat. "All hail the Empress!" A cat soldier announced. The Empress came strolling by. Her processions are a big deal around these parts. Anyone who doesn't bow or remove their hat would be arrested and sentenced to death by drinking poisoned milk. "All bow to the Empress!" The soldier announced. My mind couldn't stop thinking about those con artists who pretended to be cats, but who cares? They were to be punished, anyway. |
| I was accompanying the Empress on a trip, when the procession suddenly came to a halt. My mistress peeked out the window to see some of her guards accosting a human male, all of them aiming their weapons at him. To my surprise, The Empress actually got out of and approached them. "What's this about?" She asked. One of the guards explained that this single male had not bowed as the royal procession passed,. "How would you have him punished?" The guard asked. "The usual?" "Oh please, captain. That policy is so outdated. I honestly don't even know why my mother made it law. Still, something should be done." She seemed deep in thought for a moment, before addressing the male herself. "Where is your owner?" His owner stepped forward. "Does this man have a name?" The Empress asked "George." The owner said. "Very well. It just so happens I have a staff opening at the palace. I think George will be a good candidate to fill that spot. I'll even let you visit him whenever you wish." George and his owner looked at each other, but said nothing. They knew better than to argue with the Empress. George was loaded into the carriage across from me and my Mistress before it began moving again. "Let it never be said Empress Kleotropa was a cruel ruler." She said as the procession passed more citizens in the street. "You may speak now." She said to George. He seemed to hesitate before saying "What position will I be filling in your court?" Quickly adding "Your highness" To the end of his question. "It just so happens I'm in need of a new jester. Death is rather harsh a punishment for simply not bowing to your ruler, so servitude will be much more fitting. Wouldn't you say?" George said nothing. He didn't even show any emotion upon being informed of his fate. I couldn't tell what it was, but there was something about him that made me greatly distrust him. I held my tongue, but would let my mistress know of my feelings towards the new jester later. The procession arrived at its destination, and the Empress and I exited the carriage while George stayed where he was. I followed as she was greeted by the head of the facility and the world's top scientist, Dr. Neela. "Your highness! It is such an honor for you to grace our facility with your presence." The doctor said, bowing. "You may dispense with the pleasantries, doctor." The empress said "I'm here to make sure your facility is operating at full capacity." "Of course, your highness. This way." We were lead to an elevator below ground, leading to a laboratory with various experiments. In the three hundred years since the time of my mistress's grandmother, science, medicine and technology have rapidly advanced beyond anything the old world had ever dreamed of. "How's that colony on Mars going?" The Empress asked "Very well." Dr. Neela replied "We're already beginning work on another city. Of course, the dust storms are still an issue, but once we get the shields up and running they'll no longer be of concern." |
| (Thunder - could you do me a favor, and make your own character? I get nervous when folks just control those I make, especially if they do something I wouldn't want them to do, especially without chatting about it with me. Foxx knows a thing or two on how I feel about it.) A jester? Well, that's better than what one might expect. After all, a jester has the right to talk and mock freely, lest the one that silences them wishes to receive divine punishment. This feline probably only knows of jesters for entertainment, but I know better. Soon, the feline and her pet came back onto the carriage. She decided to speak to me. "Tell me about your upbringing," she said. "You wouldn't understand it, unless you lived it," I said, looking at my nails, seemingly barely paying any attention to her. "You could find yourself in a dungeon for that," the cat said. I looked out the window. "Good news is, no storm, yet." "What do you mean by that?" the cat asked. "You just gave me a position of tremendous power," I said, looking her in the eyes. "I am free to say as I wish, and mock whomever I want, including you, and none can do a thing about it, unless they wish to be struck by lightning." The feline blinked in surprise. "How do you know this?" I chuckled at her. "Let's just say that those who have owned my line have valued us for our honestly, even when said honesty wasn't liked by others." |
| (You want me to create my own character, Big Bad Wolf? That's what I'll do.) My name is Milo Hawkins. I'm 17 years old and my partner, Jimmy Thatch, is 10 years old. He's smart for his age, you know. He can short out a tracking collar with laundry detergent and a toothpick. That's how he escaped slavery and helped me out the same way. We're con artists, even better than Slim and Bob, the two idiots who dressed up as cat people and tried to swindle people. On the day they were arrested, Jimmy and I were playing dice against some shoppers at the marketplace. We use loaded dice to get 5 and 2 to make 7 every time. We were on a roll! "One more roll!" One of the shoppers demanded. "Uh, bad news," I said. "You're broke! You've got nothing to bet with!" "Well, I've got this!" The shopper said, taking a golden sphere out of her shopping bag. "So, are we changing the rules?" Jimmy asked. "Yep," the shopper said. "This time, we use my dice. Deal?" She held regular dice in her hand. "Deal!" I said, putting away my dice and taking the shopper's dice. "You and you big, fat mouth," I muttered to Jimmy. "Don't worry," he told me. "I believe in you." I took a deep breath and began rolling the dice. "Show me seven!" I begged, rolling them against a building. One die landed with 4 on top while the other was spinning around. Finally, it landed, with 3 on top. Any mathematician would tell you that makes seven. I was overjoyed. "A deal's a deal!" Jimmy said, taking the sphere from the shopper while I gathered the money we swindled them out of. "I guess I won't be needing these anymore," I said, throwing my loaded dice on the ground. The shopper tried to make them show different numbers several times, but to no avail. "Wait a minute!" She shrieked as I snatched my dice. "Your dice are loaded!" I glared at Jimmy. "I can't believe it!" I said. "You gave me loaded dice?!?" This couldn't have happened in a more opportune time. This Empress arrived at the market with her guards. "What's going on here?" She demanded. "That boy gave me loaded dice!" I said, motioning to Jimmy. "He must be punished!" "What?!? He can't pin this whole rap on me!" Jimmy protested. "He was the one who was cheating! He must be punished! He tricked these shoppers and took their money!" "Now I'm the thief?" I said, pretending to be shocked. "Yes." "Liar, liar, dance with a tire!" "Actually, it ends with pants on fire," Jimmy corrected me. "Well, you would know, liar." "You better give their money back or I'll-" He reached into his backpack, pulled out a baseball, and threw it at me. I ducked out of the way and the baseball hit a merchant in the face, causing her to throw it at a street performer. Soon, a fight broke out at the market. While the Empress was calling her guards, Jimmy and I ducked into a parking garage and headed for the top floor. "You ready to fly?" I asked Jimmy. We were going to try out the parasails he made. He can build and invent anything, trust me. "Ready!" He announced. We leapt from the parking garage and opened our parasails. We began floating through the air until we landed in front of the entrance to our hideout: an abandoned apartment. It's got a big hole in front of the entryway, but Jimmy built an elevator to make getting from floor to floor easier. "Another successful con!" I said, offering a fist bump. "You said it!" Jimmy said, returning it. |
| After order had been restored in the market, the Empress returned to the palace with her new jester and myself in tow. It just so happens that evening the Empress was hosting a party for some of the world's most influential families, with guests from across the globe slated to attend. In her private chambers, as I combed her hair and helped her get ready, I asked "Mistress, maybe I speak freely for a moment?" "You may. Is something bothering you?" "Yes. It's that new jester you hired. To put it bluntly, I don't trust him. You know he's going to insult you whenever he's performing, right?" The Empress didn't seem concerned. "So what? Let him insult me. It's not as if I have no sense of humor. Besides, I wouldn't be a very gracious Empress if I just executed everybody who didn't agree with me. Legally, I could do that, yes. But I don't like to. I'm actually interested to hear what he has to say." Despite her confidence, it did little to ease my nervousness. There was just something about him that gave me a bad feeling... Later that evening, me and the other slaves were serving drinks and various snacks to guests at the party. Just then the Empress announced it was time for the evening's entertainment. I gulped. I knew this wouldn't be pretty. George stood at the center of the room, dressed in a goofy, brightly colored outfit. He cleared his throat, and began his routine. |
| Ah, the old Miguel and Tulio routine, I thought, reflecting upon the earlier entertainment at the market. Hopefully, those two rapscallions would either change things up, and go to a different area that didn't have many of their prior victims, or, there'd be trouble. At the moment though, I have spoiled cats to entertain. "So, what did the cat drag in today?" I began. "Their feet and tail." There was a quiet chuckle, way in the back, hidden. "Tough crowd," I said. "Who here likes fish?" Most made noises indicating that they liked it. "Then go on the ocean, and catch your own," I said. "Show how tough you really are. Or, are you afraid to get wet?" The chuckles were now nervous. "Me, I got no issues swimming," I said. "Had to pull a rich idiot out of a pond once - she was panicking a lot - in water one could stand up in. She wanted to enter some academy for Royal Officers - I hope she washed out." Some of the regular guards chuckled at this - not all were of wealthy families. "You like to say that the empress has gotten rid of violence and crime," I said. "That is a lie. I've seen two aristocats fight tooth and claw over tuna - granted, it was a bluefin one - but my Mistress never dirtied her claws like that. After all, she carried a knife with a nice and long blade, and could easily remove most of the meat on one side of the fish in a single swing, and the rest of the good meat on the second. None ever tried to rob her upon seeing how good she was. As it is, most of the fish currently being served tonight was probably caught by her and the rest of her crew, so be nice to them if you ever walk by the harbor and fish market." |
| (I love The Road to El Dorado myself. I figured Milo and Jimmy are descendants of Miguel and Tulio themselves. Don't you think? Anyway, back to the story.) As Jimmy and I were unloading our loot, I thanked Jimmy for starting the fight at the market so we could make our escape. "Where is it?" He said, searching his backpack. "I could've sworn the diamond we conned Lady Venus out of was still in here." "What?!?" I cried. "You lost it?!?" We both searched his backpack until we heard a Southern voice nearby. "Oh, my. Ya boys lose somethin'?" We turned to the source of the voice and saw a cat person wearing a pink flannel shirt under overalls, pink cowboy boots, pink gloves, and pink bows in front of her ears. "Who are you?" Jimmy demanded. "How did you get in here?" I asked. "I came down the chimney. Ho ho ho," the cat sarcastically said. "Just kiddin'. I waited until you opened the door and slipped in unnoticed. My name is-" She started making weird cat noises with her mouth. Huh? "But you can call me April May June." "I like April May June better," said Jimmy. "By the way," April said. "I think these belong to you." She held out her hand and showed us my dice. "How'd you get those?" I demanded, snatching them from her. "Where was she keeping them?" Jimmy asked. "I was watchin' y'all at the market," April said. "And I was thinkin' about joinin' your team. I'm not takin' no for an answer." I shrugged my shoulders and Jimmy did the same. "Then, meet me on the roof," April said. She took one of the spare elevators we had and up it went. Jimmy and I followed in our own. Once on the roof, April stood next to something under a heavy cloth. "That's always been on the roof," Jimmy said. April pulled the cloth off the something. The something looked like a giant eagle. "It looks like some sort of vehicle," I said. "These were the kinds of vehicles on Kleotropa the First's home planet," Jimmy explained. "Their vehicles were shaped like fish, bugs, and birds." "Nowadays, no one knows how they work," April said. "I can translate the instructions," Jimmy said. He climbed onto the vehicle to read the ancient writing on its front. He's very good at translating languages, too. Don't ask. It's a gift. "Let's see, insert crystal into slot," he translated. Little known fact: every cat person on Kleotropa the First's home planet carried crystals on chains. "Gently place hand on prescription pad," Jimmy continued. April did so, but nothing happened. "See?" She said. "Nothin'." "Well, maybe you could have your hand on the prescription pad when you insert the crystal," Jimmy said. "Why didn't I think of that?" April said. She gently placed her hand on the prescription pad again, but this time, she kept it there and inserted her crystal. Just then, the vehicle was activated. "Cool!" Jimmy said. "Just the reaction I was expecting." "I could fly over the whole city I this!" I said, climbing aboard the vehicle. I slipped as I tried to put my leg on the other side. Jimmy reached out the grab my hand, but his foot touched the prescription pad. April and I fell off and landed safely on the rooftop as the vehicle went flying out of control with Jimmy still on board. It flew over two guards in an alleyway, drawing their attention. "What is that?" One of them said. "We'd better follow it," said the other. They followed its shadow as it came back to the hideout. At the last possible moment, I grabbed Jimmy and we watched the vehicle went flying toward the door without him. The guards came through the door and were caught in an explosion caused by the vehicle. "Oops," Jimmy said. |
| The next morning, My mistress was in a much brighter mood than usual."Good morning, my toy." She said, as I awoke to find her at her vanity. "Did I oversleep?" I said worriedly. I usually wake up before her so as to get a head start on my duties. "Yes. But don't worry about it. Today is a most wonderful day! Not just for us, but the whole empire!" "What do you mean?" "About an hour ago, I received a visit from the royal physician. The did their usual test routines and gave me some splendid news!" "What would that be?" She turned to face me, positively beaming with joy. "I'm pregnant!" My jaw nearly dropped at hearing those two words."You mean...I'm going to be father to the heir of the empire?" She nodded excitedly. Now it was my turn to be overjoyed. Ever since my mistress's grandmother had begun her conversion of the female population, once the change had fully taken hold, their anatomy was altered like their physical appearance. Thus, the usual symptoms of pregnancy such as morning sickness and such were eliminated. However, the hunger and cravings remained, and were even multiplied. "This is wonderful!" I said, hugging my mistress to me. She gave me an affectionate lick on the cheek. "Just wait until the rest of the empire knows. In six weeks, we'll have a new princess!" "But, my mistress, what if the child should be a boy?" She nearly laughed at the notion. "Oh please, my toy. You know my line has always produced female offspring. The very thought of me having a boy is ridiculous! Now, I'd say this calls for a celebration! Go down to the kitchens and tell the royal chef to start preparing a feast. We have big news to tell the publci!" |
| "Ah, but what if you are having a son?" I asked, as I entered the room. "Or one of each? A son and a daughter, who know of each other. How will you treat them?" "What do you mean?" the Empress asked. "It's a well known biological fact that gender is determined by the father, if indirectly," I said. "50-50 chance. After all, I got sisters, as well as brothers, who all care for each other, to the point that, when it came to finding Mistresses for me and my brothers, my sisters made sure that the intended Mistresses-to-be would be the sort to respect us, telling our mother not to give us to them if they were abusive to their own brothers and other male relatives. Besides, there's a rumor or three." "What rumor is that?" the Empress asked. "That your line does produce males, but your mother and grandmother hated males so much that they, got rid of them, one way, or another," I said. "There's bound to be a hole that hides those skeletons of those children. Or, perhaps, there's some male slave that doesn't know that they are of Royal blood - an uncle, or a brother, maybe multiple uncles and brothers." I walked over to her. "So, what will you do, if you have a son?" |
| News of the Empress's pregnancy spread like wildfire. Jimmy and I were more concerned with April. We had shown her the sphere, but she couldn't figure it out. While me and her were talking, Jimmy began to fiddle with it, pressing buttons and turning sides. Then, a holographic map began to fill the room. "It's a map!" April cried. It showed us the entire galaxy, every planet, star, and constellation. "Look!" Jimmy said, pointing at a lone planet on the map. "It's Felinus Prime, Kleotropa the First's home planet!" I said. The holographic map dissolved back into the physical map. "If we could go to Felinus Prime," Jimmy said. "We could find out why Kleotropa the First was banished." "It may be difficult," April said. "We may have to take a ship to space, and by take, I mean steal. See you at the spaceport!" She took off out of our hideout as I smiled at her. "You sly dog!" Jimmy said. I was happy at first, but I stopped and faced Jimmy. "Wait a minute! She's trouble," I said. "You know what a conscience is?" "Sure," Jimmy said. "It's the moral voice inside your head that tells you right from wrong." "Exactly," I said. "What would it be saying about April?" Jimmy just smiled. "Milo and April sitting in a tree," he sang. "K-I-S-S-I-N-G" "No," I said. "Remember what the sphere is?" "It's a map to Felinus Prime," Jimmy said. "And we'll use it to get there and find out why Kleotropa the First was banished in the first place," I said. "Put April in the mix. What would your conscience be saying about April?" Jimmy took a deep breath and exhaled. Then he spoke. "April is off limits?" "Eureka!" I cried. "April is off limits! That means we can't let her come between us. Shake on it." We performed our secret handshake to seal the deal. "Do you suppose the Empress will know two of her guards were killed in an explosion caused by a flying bird vehicle?" Jimmy asked. "Not if she doesn't know where it happened," I said. |
| My mistress sat upon her throne, looking rather troubled. "What's the matter, mistress?" I asked as I entered the room, having just finished preparing a hot bath for her. "I've been thinking about what George said." She replied "What if it's true that my mother and grandmother did have male heirs, only to disown them at birth, or worse?" I sat at her side, attempting to comfort her. "I'm sure it's just gossip, mistress. For all we know, these rumors could be straight lies spread by the rebellion to sway others to their cause. Besides, there's no proof that any of these claims are true." "And my unborn child? What if it turns out to be a male? It would cause an unimaginable scandal! What's more, what will I do with it if that's the case? Male or not, it's still a child that has done no wrong. I can't in good conscience just dispose of it like garbage!" I gripped her hand tightly. "We will face that dilemma when it comes, Empress. If it comes at all. For now, I've prepared a nice bath for you, and it should help alleviate some of your worry at least." She smiled and hugged me. "You're always so understanding, my toy. I'm grateful to have you." |
| I was already in the bathing area when the Empress entered it, with her pet. Good timing too - I had just finished shaving my face. I closed my straight razor, watching them in the mirror, as they watched me. "How did you get here?" the Empress asked. "Through the door," I said. "And the knife?" "A straight razor, passed on down from father to son," I said. "Useful for grooming, and emergency surgery, when a feline's wound needs to be shaved while the power is out, so that the doctor can see clearly. Not much use in a fight, unless you plan to slice a throat from behind or some such thing." "But it could be used in a fight?" the pet asked. "I'd rather use a streak knife, but almost anything is better than nothing," I said, putting the razor away in a pocket. "I won't use it on your Mistress unless needed." "You seem to know more than a bit of rumors," the Empress said. "I listen good," I said. "Thing is, most of them have a ring of truth. The question is, what's the truth?" |
| Jimmy and I left our hideout in our disguises so that the Empress's guards wouldn't notice us. "You got the map?" I asked. "Sure do," Jimmy said, taking out the map. We had made it to the docks by 10 am. April had picked us a ship that would take us to Felinus Prime. It looked like a wooden ship from the olden days, but was futuristic at the same time. "Glad y'all could make it," she said. "I'm sure the Empress wouldn't mind if we "borrowed" her royal starship." "You stole her royal starship?!?" I said. "Consider yourself one of us!" "Even I couldn't try to hot wire this thing if her guards were present," Jimmy said. April and I began to start up the starship with Jimmy's help. Soon, it was rising up and off into space. "Stop!" Thieves!" Came a voice. It was one of the Empress's guards, heading straight for us. Jimmy started up the thrusters on the ship and it lifted higher off the ground. "I must warn the Empress about this!" The guard shrieked, heading for the royal palace. |
| As I bathed the Epress, the captain of the royal guard burst into the bath chamber. "My empress! They cried, trying to catch their breath. "Forgive me, but your royal starship has been stolen!" At this, the empress immediately stood, not caring she was still wet and naked. "Don't just stand there! Send a squad to retrieve it! Immediately!" The captain scurried off to do as the empress commanded. "My empress, how will they find your ship?" I asked "No doubt it's lightyears away by now." "It has a built in tracer, like the rest of the ships in the fleet. Wherever it goes, they can follow it." |
| "In any case, it would be best for you to relax, and let your soldiers handle the recovery efforts," I said, as I looked at the Empress. "Now is a critical time for the child's development. Too much stress, and we won't be celebrating the birth of your heir." "What do you mean?" the Empress asked. I walked over to the window, and looked out it. "My brother's Mistress was expecting their first child. She went hunting, bringing my brother along. A bear was also hunting. She thought that the bear would be a great prize. The bear saw her as lunch. The bear attacked, seriously injuring her. My brother managed to fend the bear off, get her to safety, and get a doctor, but was too late. The child didn't make it, and she came close to dying herself." I looked back at the Empress. "That's one pain I wouldn't wish on anyone." "I see," the Empress said. "I'll heed your advice, and take it easy." She dismissed the guard to go about chasing the thieves. "I would also recommend implementing some reforms," I said. "Rebellions are less likely to happen if what they plan to fight for is readily available and legal." "Such as?" "Giving males the same rights as females," I said. "That's a good start. |
| While we were sailing through space to Felinus Prime, Jimmy began looking around the ship until he came across the tracker. "We're about to be targeted," he said. "Don't worry. I can disable the tracker, no problem." As he started working, April came up to me and placed a hand on my arm. "So, how did ya two meet?" She asked. I took a deep breath and started explaining it all to her. "My parents sold me into slavery when I was 6," I said. "Jimmy's parents did the same thing to him when he was 6. Later that day, there was a car accident. Neither of them survived. Jimmy shorted out his tracking collar and he did the same for mine. I was so grateful to him, I took him under my wing." Jimmy had finished disabling the tracker when the Empress's royal fleet swooped in out of nowhere. "You're surrounded!" The captain of the guard announced. "There's no use trying to run!" Without warning, her ship blew up upon being hit by a big rock. "Oh, no!" Jimmy cried. "Meteor shower! Take evasive action!" "Wait!" I said. "We can use it to our advantage!" I took the helm and began steering the royal starship through the sea of meteors with the fleet in pursuit. Many ships dodged the meteors with ease while others weren't so lucky. There we were, face-to-face with the mother of all meteors. It could have been the size of the Great Wall of China. "Here they come!" Jimmy announced. Positioning the starship just right, I waited until the remaining ships came flying toward us. "Now!" I shouted, activating the royal starship's hyperthrust. We blasted out of the fleet's way, leaving them to crash into the giant meteor. The Empress, who had been watching on screen from Felainia, was not pleased by what had happened to her guards. |
| My mistress was furious over the theft of her ship, and the apparent destruction of a good chunk of her fleet. "Now Empress, calm yourself." I urged her "Remember your child." She took several deep breaths and regained her composure. "Since my starship is now gone, I'll order the construction of a new one immediately." She said "Still, where could the thieves be headed?" Just then, the royal physician entered the room "Your highness, I have some news I think you should hear." "What is it?" "Our top biologists have been developing a special method to control the outcome of the gender of an unborn fetus, provided the procedure is done before a certain stage in development. If you so choose, you could guarantee your heir will be the gender you desire. hall I make an appointment for you?" The Empress hesitated for several moments. With the news of the rumors that had circulated about her family line, she was beginning to have second thoughts. "I...will need to think about it." |
| "You could take a chance, and have a human son," I said. "A son whom you deeply care for to the point that they will be your heir." "Why would you suggest this?" the Empress asked. "It would prove that you don't hate males, or humans, especially if you gave human males their freedom," I said. "Someone like me can walk unseen among the crowd, free to listen to all of all ranks. There's a number that want you dead, for one reason or another. But, by granting humans their freedom, instead of wishing for your death, they will welcome every day that you live." "Why would you say this?" the Empress asked. "Because I might be one of the ones that wants you dead for keeping me and my brothers, including your pet, in thus enforced servitude," I said. "In fact, right now, in this location, great opportunity to kill you, especially if I didn't care about seeing tomorrow, and was willing to give up my life to make sure that you were dead." The Empress looked at me. "So, what's keeping you from trying, if you were one of those that wanted me dead?" "I have reasons to want to see tomorrow," I said. "Being able to see the one I care for is one. As for the second, I want to see if you've got what it takes to start to undo the injustices that your mother and grandmother have done. Of course, if you're unwilling to correct their wrongdoing, or if you had caused harm to them that I care for, then we might end up seeing what I can really do with that razor blade." "Not many can say that they've threatened my life and lived," the Empress said. I grinned. "Not many are like me." I looked out the window. "Still, got to laugh at your guards being given the slip. Hopefully, they knew to pull up or some such thing." |
| As April, Jimmy, and I continued our quest through space, we were just catching our breath from that chase through the meteor shower. "It looks like it's past my bedtime," Jimmy said. "Better head below deck," I said. Jimmy agreed and went down below deck, leaving me and April alone. "It's beautiful, ain't it?" April said, admiring the view. "It is," I agreed. She placed her hand on mine and we smiled at each other. She began to move her face toward me with her cat lips puckered. I was about to do the same when Jimmy screamed so loud it caught our attention. "We're coming, Jimmy! I cried. As we got below deck, we saw two men in the hammocks. One was really tall and really skinny, had a goatee, and wore a shirt that was too small for him, a necktie, baggy pants, and boots. The other was short and chubby, had a goatee, and wore a tank top that was too small for him, pants with a belt, and boots. I recognized them at once. It was those two men who were arrested at the market for impersonating cats. Slim and Bob! "Don't hurt us!" Slim said. "We're innocent!" "Wait a minute!" Bob said. "You're not the Empress's guards! You're those two kids that started the fight at the market!" "I'm confused," I said. "I thought you two were arrested. How did you escape?" "It wasn't us they arrested," Slim said. "Polly covered our escape." "Who's Polly?" April asked. Jimmy started to freak out when he saw a spider crawling on his shoulder. "That's no spider," Bob told him. "That's Polly. She's a morph." The spider began to change into a green blob of goo with a face. "I've never seen a morph this close before!" Jimmy cried. "I hear they can change into anything! They're elastic, too! These are only found on the planet Corinthium which is also near Felinus Prime!" "Felinus Prime?" Slim gasped. "Why are you going there?" "We're going to uncover the reason Kleotropa the First was banished from that planet in the first place. I'm Milo, by the way." "And I'm Jimmy," Jimmy said. "And my name's April," April said. |
| I had to admit, George had a point. Even though I technically wasn't a real human, being a clone and all, and had been raised to be loyal to the Empress, I was curious what it would be like to have the same rights and privileges of the other half. The Empress had a look of deep contemplation on her face, before responding "Care to make a wager?" "What do you mean?" George asked. "We shall wait until my child is born. If it's a male, and a human at that, I shall do as you wish and grant all males in the empire their freedom. If not, then things stay as they are." "You swear?" "Of course! As royalty, I have to keep any promises I make, even ones to those beneath me. Agreed?" George and the Empress shook hands."Agreed." |
| "Just keep this in mind," I said. "There's always child Number Two, along with Number Three, and many more. Also, don't break your word if you do have a male child. One thing one learns as a sailor - pirates are not known for keeping their word." "Something to keep in mind," the Empress said. |
| (Before I continue with Milo and Jimmy, I'd like to treat you to a song about the Empress. All I did was take that rich man song from Spirited Away and change some of the lyrics.) During a procession, the Empress's jester began dancing with paper fans in his hands. Welcome the Empress She's hard for you to miss She wears rings on every finger So there's plenty there to kiss (Okay, I'm done. Now, back to Milo and Jimmy.) As our crew sailed through space in search of Felinus Prime, we had just bunked down for the night. Unfortunately for me, Polly was giving me a hard time by messing with me. I'd chase her around the ship. "Milo, be nice," April would scold. I was trying to be nice to Polly, but she just kept teasing me. "Incoming message!" Jimmy said, putting the message onscreen. "Greetings, thieves," the Empress answered. "I believe since you have my royal starship, it would only be fair to warn you. If you don't return it, I'll have to send new guards after you to retrieve it. By the way, I know those two idiots, Slim and Bob, are with you. How clever of them to give my troops the slip as you did at the market. Back to the task at hand, you have 3 days to return the ship or you'll be arrested and sentenced to death by being forced to drink poisoned milk. Ta-ta!" |
| As my mistress cut the transmission, I hesitantly asked "You won't really do that, will you?" "Of course not! I just said that to motivate them to speed up returning my ship. I still intend to punish them for stealing it, but not with death. If I really wanted them dead, I could activate my starship's remote self destruct at any time. But then I'd have to have a new one built, and I have more important things to focus on right now." She stroked her belly at those last few words. "You're really going through with this bet?" "I have to. I gave my word, after all. If I went back on it, how would I look to my subjects? But we still have time until the child arrives. Care to help me think of a name?" "You're not going to name it Kleotropa IV?" "That's assuming it is a female to begin with. If that's the case, I was thinking a different name is in order for the next generation of royalty." "And if it's a boy?" "In that case, I'll let you decide on a name." |
| "It's a good idea that you're not actually going to kill those thieves," I said. "Sentence them to be sailors - they might learn some discipline, after a while." "You have a knack for being in unexpected places," the Empress said. "I'm a man of many talents," I said. |
| We had just landed on Felinus Prime, which wasn't like it was when Kleotropa the First was banished. The land had dried up. There was no one around, no food, no water, just plants and weeds. Even skeletons of the planet's deceased inhabitants littered the ground. "This is odd," Jimmy said. "It seems like Kleotropa the First's banishment was more dramatic for this planet than one thought." "We've got to keep sharp," I said. "There could be survivors around here. We just have to lie low." "But there's no one here," Slim said. "Look, there's dead people everywhere." "It's like we landed in a cemetery," Bob added. "I'm sure this place was more inhabited 3,000 years ago," April said. I walked off to gather the supplies we brought along. Slim and Bob stayed with Jimmy and April. Polly proved to be a source of entertainment with her transforming into whatever they requested her to change into. "Maybe you should go look around," April told Jimmy. "We'll cover for you." "Thanks," Jimmy said, adjusting his goggles which he wore on his head. Polly jumped onto his shoulder and started making a gibberish plea to let her come with him. "I don't see why not," he said. With that, he climbed off the ship and he went exploring the barren wasteland of a planet. |
| The big day arrived, and the Empress went into labor. Naturally, I was by her side the whole time, being the closest thing she had to a husband. She nearly crushed the bones of my hand to dust as she lay in the bed, and the royal physician delivered the child. Or rather, children. That's right, to our surprise, she had birthed twins! But there was a bit of a problem. One was indeed a female, and feline just like her mother. The other, however, was a human boy! She held both in her arms as they lay swaddled in fresh blankets on top of her. Instead of joy, my Empress had a look of concern and confusion on her face. "He was right." She said after a long silence. "I didn't believe it, but George was right. I can produce male offspring." I looked up from my children to her. "Mistress, what will you do now? You birthed both a boy and a girl. What will this mean in regards to your wager with George? You never factored in the possibility of you having twins." "I don't know." She said, as though her whole perception of reality had been shattered. "For now, I am tired and need to rest. Keep an eye on the twins, won't you?" "Of course, Mistress." |
| After the doctors left, I slipped into the room. The Empress was resting, and the Pet was holding a bundle. "Is the kid healthy?" I asked. The Pet looked at me. "Yes." They then looked over at the crib. "So is that one." I walked over and looked. There was a male human. "Well, looks like I was right. Her line can produce males. Then again, fathers are the ones that pick the gender, not that they intentionally pick it." I looked at the Pet. "You should be proud - you're a father, to a boy and a girl." "Do you have children?" the Pet asked. I nodded. "I got a few. I'd do anything for them, even kill the Empress if I thought that it would be needed to give them a better life." "Would you really do that?" the Pet asked. "You'd kill her?" "Your children are the most important things in this life," I said. "You do whatever it takes to protect them, even killing their mother if she goes off the walls. Likewise, if you ever tried to harm those kids, you'd better hope that she kills you first." With that, I pulled out a wine bottle. "But, enough of that - a celebratory drink is in order. With her having given birth to a male human, she has to honor our wager, and you are, by her own words, a free man." |
| On Felinus Prime, I was returning to the main deck. "What happened to Jimmy?" I asked. "I don't know," April said. "Oh, no!" I cried. "He's gone! Jimmy's gone! He's loose!" Polly, Slim, and Bob looked at each other in silence. "I think you worry too much," April said. "Jimmy is just 10 years old." "He's got to need you at some point," Slim said. "Why don't you guys go look for him?" April suggested. "I couldn't have said it better myself," Bob said. With that, Polly and her owners left the ship to wander the barren planet, leaving me and April alone. For some reason, she leaned towards me as if to give me a kiss. I guess I have no choice, I thought. So, I leaned in, but just as we were about to kiss, the ship's communicator went off. "Not again," I grumbled. April pulled up the monitor. On screen was the Empress herself. "I know why you're calling," I said. "I haven't forgotten the deadline: three days or we're arrested and sentenced to death by being forced to drink poisoned milk." "Actually," the Empress said. "I just wanted you to meet my new heirs to the throne." She held up children in her arms, the male in her left and the female in her right. "Oh, joy," I said sarcastically. "The Empress just gave birth to a human male and a female kitten. Now I've seen everything." "I bet you haven't seen a man eat his own head before, have you?" The Empress asked. I shrugged. "I thought so," she said. "Anyway, I want to remind you that I'm doubling your deadline to six days or you're arrested and you'll still be sentenced to death by being forced to drink poisoned milk." I glared at her. I couldn't tell if she was bluffing or not. "You don't trust me?" She asked. "Fine, get your partner, Jimmy, and let him know about this. Bye!" After she ended the transmission, April and I hopped off the ship and went to find Jimmy. |
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