Weep

I wept and now you weep. It was early morning when they lowered me into the ground. I was dressed in black, paler than I had ever been. It was as if staring at an apparition to look at me. Then maybe that was the point, to look at a ghost, to forget I was ever more. Nobody preached, I was buried at the beach, after all. The wind was merciless, as me, for what I did. It hissed like snakes and bit your cheeks, turning them as pink as your swollen eyes. You had looked at my pale form, and almost seen the one you once knew. Yet I was too still, in my life I'd been so restless. Now looked like a porcelain doll, apple-red lips and rosy cheeks, soon to be eaten by maggots and time.

Few words muttered about loss of life, few prayers said for a soul thought doomed. The ocean was just as vast as the skies, to be lost in it was not my doom. Is it not funny at least, how I wished to erase every part of my being, to be washed away? Yet you still found my body, to soothe your raw feeling, to trap me forever in your head. I swear, my death was the best to ever happen. I swear I didn't think of you. But now I am gone and I always will haunt you, no tears will bring me back to you.

The hand clutching flowers grew colder with speeches, of what my life could have been. They all resisted to call me what I was - a selfish, now dead, fool. Yet they will grieve for a while, weep for a while, then forget in a while. Even you won't mourn my loss forever, darling. So now you leave flowers, you will every week. But my body will rot and so will the flowers, and so will your memories, and so will your grief. Soon you again will wear bright colours. I wept and now you weep.