growing up feeling different |
Do you see me? A question I ask often. Life is lonely when I live in the shadows, moving with so much care that even the sun shys away. What of that voice I don’t use? The smile that doesn’t shine? Is it forbidden or am I just a lost child yearning for light? The touch I don’t feel wraps around me icy cold, burning hot. Too much too little. I feel everything and never nothing because my nothing is my everything. I am nothing. Forever is time and time is always. Slow like a snail fast like a hare. I approve and am overridden. I blink and my eyes are shut. Do you choose not to? The mirror is one way only just like the road but I walk backwards, see with my eyes closed and my ears covered. What did I do? The noise, my noise, is too much and too little. Never enough never just right. They are my answers and now they are yours, were they ever mine if I don’t exist? Ghosts are real because I am real. Ghosts are not real because I am not real. Flip a coin, choose, option one option two. I drop the coin, I panic, I leave. No commitment. My only commitment is to be uncommitted. To not be. Am I here? No one can answer. Are you here? Of course you are because I see you. They don’t but I do if you’d only give me the chance. Why do you look away? I am not scared and I am not silent. The wind blows over me and knocks me into the waves. I drown. |