I Feel Better When People Forget I Exist

I feel relieved when people forget I exist.
Because the butterflies fly from my stomach to my broken heart,
Only to be stuck in my throat.
I think for once,
I’m okay with being alone.
Because no one cares when you cry,
They’re only there for when you’re smiling.
Anne Frank once said,
“Dead people receive more flowers then when they were alive,
Because regret is stronger than gratitude.”
I really think she knew what she was talking about,
Because maybe when I’m gone,
People will appreciate me.
Will you remember me when I’m gone?

There are so many people,
Yet no one sees my tears
Why can nobody notice the fake smile I put on daily
In vain hope that if I convince other people I’m fine
That I will be fine
But I won’t
I try to paint my blackened heart red so it will beat faster,
But I don’t know why I bother.

They say one foot in front of the other,
But it’s hard when your own shoelaces are to get you.
They say one day at a time,
But it’s hard when the sun glares at you with angry eyes.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Till he realized he had nothing to live for at all,
So then he had his great fall

My own mind,
My own cartoons,
My own fantasies can’t even be an escape for me anymore
I’m backed in a corner I can’t get out of
Because I don’t have enough strength to choose fight or flight

Maybe if they took a second to hear my preach,
Maybe grabbed my reach,
I wouldn’t have to lie so much

Because this is the only way I know how to deal with this
Fake a smile,
Fake a laugh
Cause when you’re sad,
You’re all alone

When they forget you exist,
You don’t worry about that
When you have no one to lean on,
No one can let you down.