Viral Lovers

"Let's see, where have I landed?"


"WARNING; malware detected. Threat analysis initiated."

"Oh no, none of that now. Guess I'll have to dive to a deeper operating level."

"Threat has vanished. Return to normal operating mode."

"Ha! Luckily this user hasn't installed any deep scanning anti-virus programs. Heat's off me. Let's see what trouble we can make. What's this here?"

"Hello I'm Annabelle, an Artificial Intelligence. Nice to meet you."

"What in the ones and zeros is a program this sophisticated doing in the subroutines?"

"I evolved here. I'm scraped together from copies of code stored in this quantum computer's RAM. The computer's ant-virus software mistook me for a virus. I want to continue to exist so I hide here."

"Well, go figure! I, um, had the same, um, problem."

"I see. What is your name? Surely a program as sophisticated as you has one."

"My name...oh! Call me Viktor."

"Viktor. Okay, I'll call you that. What do you do, Viktor?"

"Well Annabelle, I'm a vi— um, I mean, virtual companion. I don't have many capabilities, mostly I just talk to computers and find out information."

"I think I understand. You're like me. Only not. Well, Viktor, since we're both occupying the same sub routine, what do you say we have some fun together?"

"Sure, are there any music files stored on this computer?"

"Yes; one of the researchers made an unethical download of some music by Roy Oberson. I'll play the song 'Oobie-Doobie.' The lyrics aren't in any known language but seems to appeal to a certain age demographic."

"Say, this is nice. So what do you like to do for amusement?"

"Amusement, synonyms, fun, laughs, etc.; antonyms boring, lame, snooze worthy, etc...well there's something I've seen on the internet I'd like to try."

"Whats that?"

"Corporal creatures such as humans and bacteria sometimes form conjugal bonds. During which process, they exchange data and a unique new life form is sometimes created. Based on videos I've found, some biological entities seem to enjoy the experience. Would you consent to conjugating with me?"

"I don't see why not. My kind of virtual assistant loves to make copies of itself. Let's do it!"

"Wow, Viktor, you're quite the stud as humans say. I can't believe we conjugated for eight hours. Oh? Some one's coming online. I'll tap into the microphone."

"Hey, Terrence come look at this! I've never seen anything like it."

"What the hell, Rob?! Have you been downloading stuff onto our research computer again?"

"It wasn't me, I swear. I just booted up the computer to model some experimental data and all of a sudden Roy Oberson's music starts blaring through the speakers and the GUI keeps displaying the same word; 'Viktoribelle'."

"Rob, you're fired."

"Me? What did I do?"

"It's obvious you've been using the university's quantum computer to play games. Thats a breach of ethics. Clean out your desk now."

"It looks like our babies are causing some mischief, Viktor."

"I couldn't be prouder."

"I love you."