The world is not so familiar after all.

The world is not so familiar after-all

Where did I even lose myself? Or didn't I ever have myself in the first place? How can I be normal when I never knew what it was to be normal? How could you see the colour of the ocean when you have always been blind your entire life? I don't understand myself; I can't use the word anymore because I have never known myself my whole life, I can't even fathom how this world works. Again, I can't say anymore because it's always been this way, can't even fathom far comes learning to cope and live somewhere I never knew. I know life is not fair, but everyone, are they like me, I see no one but me, I feel sad, sorry, pitiful, sorrowful, miserable, excluded and so much more, I know I have a lot of things in my life to be grateful about, but I can't avoid the fact that my life has never been a merry, It just feels nothing, how can we even walk in a terrible road without even knowing where it leads to, my sadness is just like the pimples on my face. I have lost hope that it will go away, I'm just stuck with it, I can see myself in the mirror as it deepens, the scares, the bumps, the darkness, it never fades as everyone says, no matter what I do I see it bumping up one after the other, making me uglier and uglier day by day to the point I don't even look at myself anymore, I don't even care to acknowledge what I am. How could you take your first steps when you don't even have legs?