Twenty-Four Years

0500, the sound of electronic bells ringing as I begin to awaken from a deep sleep. I stretch towards the phone, scroll through the timers listed for this day, and go back to sleep hoping for an extra hour of ease. On average, I probably sleep around 7 hours on the nights before work. Well, about 6 if you don't include the extra time I place after waking up from Rapid eye movement (REM) sleep. This stage should be the stage of sleep where your body relaxes and becomes immobilized. However, I disrupt it by getting shorts amount of sleep after waking up from the hours of paralysis, at least that's what I believe. I don't always feel to great about myself when I move forward with this action. I personally feel within my body that this bad habit of mine is unhealthy and it will affect me physically over the years, however I still perform this action. I guess the consequences that aren't immediate I tend to ignore. 0600 comes around and I lay in bed for about 5 minutes telling myself, "Is this the day?" Is this the day are the words that roll through my mind right before I decide to get up and brush my teeth. Sometimes, laying there too comfortably will cause me to arrive to work late. This action has occurred I'd say about 5 times in the past year. Going over the same rotation, moving my hair to the side, brushing my teeth, using a towel placed the night before to dry the remaining water across my lips, and placing deodorant on my armpits. I don't usually spray cologne on myself before work since it's too expensive for what it's worth, especially for the scenario. I go back to my room and put on my scrubs. It always gets cold in the hospital, so I always throw on an indigo-colored jacket with a missing zipper. Many people question why I wear the same jacket everyday to work. I always speak the truth stating that it gets too cold. However, I don't think that's the answer they tend to strive for. I think they want an answer like, "I'm too poor to afford different jackets everyday", or " I don't own any other type of clothing in my closet." Whatever may be the case, the real answer is I don't see a reason to try to impress people that don't catch my attention. Many nurses around the hospital talk about large houses with their 4-car garage alongside their boat that they just bought. However, I don't ever hear the troubles with their relationship, the amount of debt owed to the loans pulled over the cars, or the amount of interest paid overtime towards their mortgages. In these cases, I usually let people, mostly coworkers, attempt to paint a picture of me with what I present. Let the judgmental comments fly around the hospital, as long as the patients are improving in their overall health, that's all I'm there for. As soon as I'm fully clothed, I grab my badge, phone, and wallet. I head out of the house and I start the car. The thought of still living at my parent's house bothers me. I've spoken to many individuals who have given me the same advice, stay at home. However, much of my influence nowadays comes from videos online and let's just say a bird who doesn't leave the nest becomes a turkey. I pull out my phone even if I'm running late and connect music to the car. Two years ago, I gave The Beatles a listen and I haven't stopped since. I've listened to all their records like one fan would and now listen to similar rock groups. George Harrison, former guitarist for The Beatles, is my first recommendation on my list of music saved and I put the car on drive with Wah-Wah playing in the background. Driving to work, I sometimes don't clear the fog off the windshield just because I admire how the view looks. Oval-shaped spots and usually blurry, it goes along with the music making it an absolute perfect rendition. Getting to the parking lot of the hospital, I'm always racing to get a space where I'm able to just pull out after a long 12-hour shift. I don't mind a long walk, as long as I'm able to leave the parking lot without having to put the car in reverse, I'm satisfied. However, this morning is quite different. Attempting to place my mark on the large acre of asphalt, a lady in a Toyota Camry pulls up in front of me and places the vehicle in park. I'm unable to get the preferred parking space, but I'm not upset. I don't think about it too much just because I don't want people to see me having to reverse after losing a parking space and parking a couple of spaces away. Prior to getting off to work, I always set the windshield sunshield up since the Texas heat ruins the plastic interior overtime. I blame the plastic however, why absorb the sun in the first place? I grab my binder and my bag containing my stethoscope, scissors, and penlight as I head into the entrance of the hospital's ER. When I'm inside, I take two lefts and a right to arrive in the surgical ICU where I'm able to clock in and start the day. I always go through the same procedure now that I think about it. I walk into the breakroom, hang up my bag, take my equipment out, and grab a paper where I'm able to jot down information regarding the patients for that day. Becoming a nurse almost two years ago, I realize that it isn't as special as I made it out to be. Since a young age, becoming a doctor was the goal. The most noble position I could think of that no other field could offer, yet I wanted to test the waters before committing my life towards this specific goal. As I got older however, influences from the outside world started speaking of income and how much doctors make compared to the world. Of course, people have this perception that once a nurse, respiratory therapist, physical therapist, doctor, etc., you're flowing in a river of money laying, however, that's not the case I've personally witnessed. It's surprising on the amount of medical professionals drowning due to their income and are trying to figure out how to make more money as days go by. Three figure incomes and worries about having to owe the IRS money after tax reports is a scary feeling.