I am glad to finally be leaving work for the weekend, this day truly was very trying for me. I really had to put all my effort into keeping my happy public Sophie in the forefront, when really what I wanted to do was stick the demon-controlled mind of the pessimistic Sophie on a few coworkers today. But I didn't I was able to control myself and behave, even though I know I was a little snappy to some from time to time. I can't help it that is another thing that perturbs me, I cannot stand dumb people, or in the case of Barbie, people who act totally dumb. I mean seriously she would not be able to hold any job, let alone the position she holds with our company if she was that pathetic in the interview. Hell, if she was as dumb as she acts most of the time she would be at home with a caretaker 24/7, because she would just be sitting staring into space drooling, I'm not kidding you, she acts that fucking dumb. Plus, to top it off she gets away with it, all because of the way she looks, I know she can from time to time drive Alexis crazy too and Alexis had said to me one day she just wanted to smack the stupid right out of her, so it isn't just me. On my drive home, I was thinking of calling my parents, but decided not to. I know that when I am in one of these moods, I tend to be very temperamental and will argue for really no reasons at all. I really don't feel like taking my anger and frustrations out on my family, they did nothing wrong this is all on me. So, I decide to call the insurance company, I know they told me they would reach out to me when or if they needed to, but I decide well if I need to yell at anyone and if it is required at least I can unload on a party that deserves it. I pull up my contacts and hit the number for my insurance company, they answer promptly, more than likely because it is Friday afternoon 15 minutes before 5 so I’m sure they want to get the hell out of there. I say to the receptionist, “Hi this is Sophie McIntosh, I was hoping to talk to my rep Amy, is she available.” The receptionist asks me to hold and pushes a button that instantly envelopes my tiny rental car with sounds of very outdated elevator music, thankfully I am not on hold long before Amy picks up. I mentally make a note to self that if at any time in the future I want people to quickly respond to a phone call that I call on a Friday right before they close, seems to be working today. "Hi Amy, this is Sophie. I was just calling to check up on my car and see where we stood with it. I know you said you would reach out to me if you had to, but I figured I would just quick give you a call." I think to myself as I am talking, I also need to vent some pent-up frustration so please give me some news that I can rip you a new asshole and it would be understandable. But it doesn't seem like that is going to be happening as she says "Hi Sophie, it isn't a problem that you wanted to call to check up. I was actually planning on giving you an update call on Monday, but this will save me that phone call." She continues, "Mr. Davenport's insurance sent out an appraiser to look at your vehicle and I guess he wanted to get a second opinion. So, they will be sending out another appraiser to look at your car either on Monday or Tuesday." I say in response, "Oh, okay. What exactly does that mean? I mean is the damage that bad that the first guy wants to get a second opinion before claiming the vehicle a total loss?" She simply says, "To be totally honest it could mean a couple of different things, but I am not 100 percent sure which reason it is in this case, so if you don't mind I would like to wait until I hear back from them before I tell you any incorrect information." I say that it is no problem and thank her for taking my call so close to closing on Friday afternoon, and wish her a wonderful weekend, which in turn she offers me the same thing. Well that phone call was useless, not only was I unable to rip anyone a new asshole to relieve some stress and aggravation, but I got no new information regarding my crumpled-up vehicle. I was wondering what happens if they decide to not fix it and they declare it a total loss, because this accident was not my fault. Do I still only get the book value of the car and must pay the difference back on the loan, because I know it will not cover the loan. Or does his insurance company take the hit and I get a new car. I sigh well I guess this is all stuff that I will be finding out soon enough, I am just hoping to get my girl back. She is new and doesn't have a lot of mileage on her, as I think of course though it would be my luck to not get her back. This is one of the best cars driving wise that I have had, and I would get stuck only being able to afford a car like this. Hell, no that will not be happening, no way will I be settling for a fucking clown car, I am surprised it doesn't have a string out the ass end that you pull to start it up. But before I get all bent out of shape about something that I have no idea if it will happen or not I turn up the volume on the radio and find a good pop rock song that I know the lyrics to, so I can sing along. Well what I call sing along, I am not deaf, and I know I cannot carry a tune even if it that tune came in a bag with handles. I arrive home, go inside and decide to feed Brandi as I figure out what to do next. She is all about that plan and jumps up on the counter with a meow to tell me she is ready for dinner. I grab her clean dish out of the dishwasher, refill her water bowl and pop open a can of her food, she immediately starts to devour her food like it's been months since she has last eaten, I pet her head and say to her a girl after my own heart, we love our food that is obvious. She isn't a fat cat, I have seen enormous pictures of cats on the internet and I swear some of them must be doctored pictures because I cannot see a cat being that huge. But Brandi is husky, she is a health cat, her vet never told me I had to put her on a diet or limit the food I give her, so both of us are just healthy. Even though I am healthier than Brandi, because my doctor isn't as nice and says that it would be a good idea for me to try and lose some weight. It is at that moment that I have the brilliant realization that maybe I should switch doctors and see if Brandi's vet is accepting new patients, I snicker to myself at my joke. It's not fair, to be told you should really lose some weight, do you think I don't know that seriously. Besides, I have lost some weight in the past numerous times, but every time I lose it I go back to my old lazy ways and it comes back and brings a few of its friends. Geeze, cut a girl a break I am still able to stand up and walk around without having a coronary, doesn't that count for something. But the last year since I haven't really been to the gym I have taken notice that I tend to get a bit winded easier than what I was, so that is a definite sign to me that I put on the pounds. I will worry about all that at another point in time, even though I know going to the gym would help to get me a little more relaxed and unstrung. But I honestly do not see myself getting changed into my workout clothes and going to work up a sweat in this mood, hell it's obvious I don't do that shit in a good mood so why would I put myself through it when I feel like this. I decide to just make myself a sandwich for dinner, add some chips and a beer and I am set. Yes, that is exactly the reason I am getting more winded, my diet has gone back to being unhealthy but as I said right now I really don't give a fuck. It isn't like I would be able to lose all the weight in time for Warren to see me and be like hot dam what the fuck was I thinking of hurting that knock out. So, fuck it, I'm going to enjoy my dinner and maybe even have a heaping bowl of whatever ice cream I can find in my freezer. That may possibly make my phone call a little easier to manage or at least I am hoping it will. I decide as I sit down to try and get a monologue into my head so that I am not making this phone call completely blind. I need to play out all the different scenarios that can come about and have some sort of conversation in my head, so I don't sound like a complete moron. I go through all the negative scenarios that can and most likely will happen of course, and then I turn over to some of the possible positive outcomes that can play through. There are not many good things that I can come up with, the bad outcomes outweigh the good like 200 to 2. I can't help it, I don't have a lot of good interactions with men that I can go of, remember most of my relationships were horrible so it's not my fault that I don't have a lot of experience dealing with the good things a relationship has to offer. I finish my sandwich and my beer, but decide I am going to drink one more beer and just relax a little before I make the phone call. I also decide on holding off on the ice cream until after the phone call, because more than likely I will need some sort of comfort food to get me through the outcome of the phone call. I also was going to take my beer and go take a relaxing bath prior to calling Warren, even though I don't have any bubble bath or oils to put in the tub I just thought that it might be a good idea to meditate. But again, I decide after the call I will do that with my bowl of ice cream in hand, that will help me get over the doom that I am sure I am about to face. I take the beer and my phone over to the sofa and replay his message 3 times on speaker before yelling at myself to stop dragging my feet and to grow a set of balls and make the fucking phone call already. I realize that I have not heard back from my bully ever since I played that message on my lunch break. Holy fuck Warren did you kill the enemy? Dam if that is the case why the fuck didn't you run into me at least a year ago? I tried to kill that bastard off numerous times with obviously no success. Well I think to myself here goes nothing as I press Warren and the little phone to make the call as my adrenaline begins to pump like I just ran a marathon. Here's to nothing I say out loud as Brandi looks over at me as if to wish me luck. |