Hurting

I drive a knife through my heart
In hopes that I can hurt deeply enough
To wake from the nightmare
Of being stuck.. and alone
Of being alive while not living
Of being present but not seen

My image in the mirror fades
Ever so slowly....
But it is faster than I can imagine
And I can't bear the thought of disappearing
But I can't even remember myself
Yet I cling to a dream that has already fled