The Search For Self-Awareness

 
 
 
This essay was predicated on a response/review given on the subject of questions they would like to ask God directly, I assume. The relevance to my own aspirations in my search for the unknown at one point was undeniable. The questions never get old, and I guess that might be because they have never been resolved. They are irrefutable and perpetual. They are the essence of God and religion. They are the essence of philosophy. They deserve to at least be contemplated if not answered. They may be some of the most profound and simple questions. I would love to have him sit down with us and give us his perspective. If only.




The Search For Self-Awareness

5 Questions I Would Ask God


I find it a real challenge to contemplate the existence of God. In the first place, mankind has found a way to create over 4000 gods and religions during our existence on this earth, that we know of, and I am confused and frustrated at the sheer number, and the lack of evidence as to each and every one of them. I neither refute nor criticize the belief systems that have been created, as I have freely chosen aspects, concepts and conclusions made by many of these philosophies. I thank them profusely for their assistance in my own journey of exploration and enlightenment.

I have not particularly found the answers that I initially expected, with many being complete surprises, and others remaining frustrating and challenging to this day. I have ceased to search for answers, but only to question and contemplate, and ironically, many answers have become apparent, simply making their existence obvious, while others have lost their relevance over time. Knowledge has great value, and objectivity remains important, and yet our subjective selves tend to create the narrative, and direct our actions. It seems that this is the way it is meant to be.

I know a bit about faith, and I find myself having faith in any number of examples. Faith in myself, faith in the trust of others, some faith in science, albeit it turns out that humans pervert and manipulate evidence and information. I would like to have faith in pure faith, faith in god, but while anecdotal and circumstantial evidence in the existence of god can be compelling at times, the individuals involved in management leave much to be desired, and that seems to be the challenge I have found throughout the history of mankind, but especially in my own personal existence.

Everything around us insinuates the existence of some higher consciousness, and yet it seems that he/she/they/it simply doesn’t want to make their existence known as an absolute. Do they want us to simply believe blindly and without question? I find that hard to accept, mainly because why would a god give me the ability to reason, and then ask, neigh demand, that I neglect and dismiss that same ability when exploring the concept of god? It is not reasonable, and I simply cannot acquiesce to such a suggestion.

Then why is so much being kept from us, deliberately made vague and even unknowable, instead of bringing clarity full comprehension to each and every one of us? It would change the world, would it not? That tells me that there is another reason. I have been searching for such an answer for a lifetime (70 years) and I think that I may be on the trail of something exquisite, and yet find it baffling that no one else seems to agree or understand. We will go into that after we address the following questions.

I find these inquiries somewhat simplistic and naïve, and yet they are irrefutable as well. Their simplicity suggests something profound and relevant at the same time. We have all asked these things of ourselves, and our teachers, clergy, our parents and friends during our formative years. I even continue to ask them today, and that, in and of itself, is a bit troubling and possibly amusing. Let us take a look at some fascinating concepts, that unfortunately, we may well have to answer for ourselves.


5 Questions I Would Ask God


Why do people abuse animals?
I love animals and it hurts me when people abuse them.
I find it hard to feel love for my fellow man who does this.
I would ask God to put an end to animal abuse.


I find myself in complete agreement when I see people abuse animals. I see no need, no reason. It is a heartless person that can terminate the life of anything, especially that of an animal, without due cause. It hurts my mind to try and understand and empathize with those that do, and it hurts my heart to the point of breaking as I try and experience what the animals themselves feel.

It is true that they are not human, but that is totally beside the point. It doesn’t make much sense, and I have often questioned why god, if he exists, does nothing to change the paradigm. I used to think that if I was god, they would cease to exist the moment they made the decision to take such a horrific action. I have come to appreciate some of the reasons why he does nothing, which gives me pause to contemplate exactly why he would do such a thing, would do nothing. You know what, he just might have a larger plan. Religion teaches us that we are not capable of understanding what that greater plan might be, but I refute such a position, and believe that we should be trying, should have been trying for the last ten thousand years of civilization, to ascertain and comprehend what that plan might be. I have some insights that I will speak of at the end of this essay. They will also address why God is looking for other alternatives than his own intervention when it comes to the ending of abuse.

Perhaps our difficulty in feeling love for our fellow men that do these things is an area where we might invest some additional contemplation, compassion, empathy and understanding. Religious instruction teaches us to love the sinner but hate the sin. I think that hate is probably a word we can do without. I would tend to believe that many, if not most of those people that do these things have any number of issues that they are struggling with, but I cannot disagree with the wish that this abuse could be done away with.


Why can't we have world peace?
People need to get along.
It would be nice to live in a world without war.

I would think that most people would agree with you, I certainly do. But I believe that the appropriate question is not why we can’t have world peace at some point in the future, but why we don’t have it right now. People do need to get along, and yet that has been a challenge and an obstacle since the dawn of time. What should we be doing that we are not doing now?

The desire is somewhat irrational if you think about it. Our species has a demonstrable difficulty in dealing with death and coercion, and it may be something that cannot be fixed, although I tend to embrace the possibility that mankind may someday triumph over his animal instincts and find peace and harmony without needing a master or some god. As time passes, I find myself questioning my own deliberations. Perhaps man is intrinsically inferior to my own expectations. I really don’t know. Maybe evolution will disprove my concerns, but it may take thousands, or even millions, of years to do so. Ironically, the animal kingdom does not abuse, and does not hate. They fear, and they will do just about anything to survive, but they, for the most part, only wish to be left alone to determine their own destinies, as is their right, as well as ours.

I like to think that I am not a part of the problem, but a part of the solution, and yet, here we are, ten thousand years into what we call civilization, and all of our difficulties seem to be the same ones being repeated over and over and over again. Why is that? Why has God and his religions not been able to even make a dent in the psychopathy that is mankind? Are we doomed to keep repeating our mistakes in perpetuity? I don’t think so, but for the life of me, I cannot explain why not.

The answer may be in some of our assumptions, such as why is someone ‘else’ not fixing the problem, why isn’t ‘God’ doing something about it? Perhaps, and this is just speculation on my part, he is waiting for us to get up off of our ‘duffs’ and do something on our own. Our own motivation, our own incentive, our own philosophies, our own moralities, our own thoughts and our own actions. I really think that all he has ever wanted is for us to solve our own issues, confront our own demons, make our own decisions, and take our own actions. It doesn’t seem unreasonable to me. All of your questions seem to direct me towards the same conclusions, and that is to not look to others to determine our futures, but to self-determine, for ourselves, our own futures, and our own destinies.


Why do people abuse children?
Children are supposed to be loved and protected like animals.


Upon reflection, the same answers present themselves to me that I experienced when we talked of animal abuse. The issues are virtually identical with those of animals. As you mention, children should be protected in much the same way for the same reasonas. They are innocent, they are vulnerable, they cannot fend for themselves, they are the epitome of what we see as valuable within life itself, and there is no rational reason to harm any of them in any way. God again does not show himself to be pro-active in these issues. Does he not care? I find that untenable and irrational. I may not have concluded that god exists, but if he does, I find it hard to believe that he would be psychopathic in nature and be immune to the pain and suffering and need. But who are we to question a god, and who are we to comprehend his nature? It may be outside of our experience and our understanding. That is why I focus on the ‘self’ and what can be done within that self, to the betterment both within and without.

I think it more an issue of ‘who’ should do the fixing, and I theorize that he is waiting for his creations to reach a point in evolution where they simply will not stand for it, and not allow it to happen, with or without his divine intervention. I don’t believe that he is shy or fearful of anything, only that he looks to the future, when his children will be able to take care of themselves, and all those they believe deserve the respect and the freedom to live a life, not at the mercy of others devoid of morality, ethics or integrity, but as independent and free individuals.


Why do we have disasters like:
Tornados, earthquakes, floods and volcanos erupting?


I have some unconventional perspectives when it comes to issues such as these as well. After seventy years of hearing the conflict between creationists and evolutionists, I have come to a somewhat unique conclusion. It does not address the natural disasters themselves, but they are called ‘natural’ and therein lies an answer, no matter how ineffectual it may be. Whether we are here through ‘creation’ or ‘evolution’ I find to be an irrelevant question. It will probably never be resolved, but does it not make sense that evolution may be something independent of some undefinable creator, or perhaps it was started by that very same entity, which would make everything evolutionary a part and parcel of creationism itself? Just something to think about when you are hunkered down in a basement waiting for the tornado to pass overhead.

I, for one, certainly don’t enjoy these natural events, and the death and destruction are difficult to explain if one believes in the Almighty, but the only alternative I can see is one where we all live in some divine ‘zoo’ where we have little fear, and even less to accomplish. The quest, the task, is for mankind to control and direct their own fates, and someone else cannot do that for us, it can only be done by ourselves. That is a question that we all need to ask ourselves, and not just from a perspective of protection and security, but from a reference point of success, pride, ability, achievement and philosophy.

If we ‘like’ nature, then natural disasters are only ‘natural’. Maybe someday we can control them and the death and destruction will be minimized or even removed completely. If God simply gives it to us, then we are little more than well-kept slaves, or pets, and I don’t believe anyone really wants that. I don’t think I have all the answers. Very few actually, but I contemplate and I speculate and I try to come up with options and alternatives. I like to think that I am a philosopher of sorts. I ask questions. I am only superficially looking for answers. It is the investigation and the exploration that inspires me. Like the existence of some god, it is the ‘not’ knowing that is fascinating and of consequence, it is the journey to knowledge through experience and my ability to discover those things that were once hidden from my perception.


Why does the world have illness and diseases?

These are some of the questions I would ask God.
I love God and Jesus and I pray a lot. I know he is there for us.
In heaven, we won't have to worry about disasters, illness,
wars and people and animals being abused.
That will be beautiful.


Do we blame our gods for these things? Or do we try and alleviate and find cures for them? Are we just waiting for a great knight on a white steed to come and save us? Are any of these things our own responsibility? But we are so small and insignificant, is there anything that we can do? Does that really matter? We have to try.

We can’t simply wait for our turn in heaven. Billions and trillions will follow us and have to endure the same behaviours and disasters that will exist forever until someone does something more significant about them. Who? Why, us of course. Do we long for a time when out own suffering comes to an end, or do we anticipate and become pro-active and fix what ails us? If God exists, and he has a plan, then it is his alone, and he will do as all Gods do, as he will and when he will. I question what that does for us right now, and for all those that have come before during the last ten-thousand years, and presumably much longer.


EPILOGUE


Because this was fundamentally a religious adventure in speculation, and I am an ignostic atheist, I thought I would like to delve into some of my own background to hopefully bring some clarity and understanding to my commentary.

I have absolutely no real conflict with those that believe in any god. As mentioned, mankind has created over 4000 god-concepts, and replete with religions to accompany them. I can’t even begin to understand all of them, but I do know that many of them tried to teach the same things, such as the golden rule (do unto others as you would have them do unto you) and concepts such as ‘thou shall not kill’. In their own ways, they all, I assume, were benign and had good intent, at least giving them the benefit of the doubt. Human beings often were the source of perversion and manipulation and intimidation. Not much we can do about that besides being aware and vigilant.

My own upbringing was in Christianity, more specifically Catholicism. My mother was fairly devout, with her brother becoming a Catholic priest. Her first-born (my own older brother) also became a priest, and he was a source of joy for her during her entire lifetime. Not saying she loved him more than me, but what can you do to beat that? I even became an altar boy for a short stint, but reality had something else in store for me. Ironically, according to many, even my ignosticism could be considered an integral part of that plan that God has for us. Can’t have it both ways. Either the plan works or it doesn’t.

In any case, my search for God has spanned almost all of my 70 years. I have researched twenty or more religions and have ‘skimmed’ twenty more. I have problems with almost all of them, primarily because of the lack of empirical data and the perversion of dogma and scripture by the inclusion of a multitude of less than well-vetted clergy. The church has made more than its share of mistakes, and I find no other religion that has not as well. It compels me to take all the teachings with a grain of salt, and to invest my time and resources into something we call philosophy.

This has allowed me to take bits and pieces from almost every source I have ever investigated, and bring them together to create and develop what I consider a considerably consistent and comprehensive world view. We all have to do something similar, in one way or another. We discuss, we discuss, there is a time of contemplation and a time for decision making and finally conclusions. We then incorporate our findings into a well-developed set of beliefs that ‘is’ the philosophy. The expectation is that a good amount of thought and considered thought and reasoned argument goes into this, and not just emotion and subjective opinion.

I find that a good and fundamentally sound philosophy, built upon a solid moral base, with compatible ethical behaviours and a well-developed character will define this philosophy, which, of course, is evolving much the same as our physical selves and our species in the larger sense. When flaws are found, they are deliberated and adjusted, or even rejected. The point is that it remains ‘our’ own decisions, and directs our thoughts and actions from early in life to that last day we exist.

I see no intrinsic difference between a good philosophy and a sound and legitimate religion. Yes, I have issues with the lack of verifiable information, but that does not negate belief, no matter the source. One still has to reasonably argue and defend belief, but that should be a responsibility that the individual accepts gladly, because that is from where knowledge and confidence and competence are derived.

As for that divine plan that God has spread out before him? It is his desire and his hopes for mankind, at least that is the way I envision it. If he actually gave us the ability for free will, then it cannot be determined and dictated by ‘Him’ but would necessarily have to derive from our own efforts, our own focus, and our own deliberations. I find that the only way to find a legitimate philosophy. Every religion is based on a philosophy, and it only needs to be interpreted and comprehended by the individual. When this is an ideology of substance and value, then it is legitimate, and it is a source of strength and peace.

He does not act because his hands are tied. Our own free will prevents him from getting involved in something that is not for him to direct. If he exists, and he gave us all of these abilities and talents, this wealth of experience and perception, an infinite amount of knowledge, as well as insight, creativity, innovation and a capacity for compassion, empathy and understanding, then might it not be our own obligation to repay him for all of these gifts by actually doing the right thing? Does he expect or even want anything else? I don’t think so.

Being ignostic does not mean I do not believe, only that my conclusions do not allow me to accept such a reality at this point in time. It is only that I see nothing other than myself that is necessary to prosecute a life of value and pride. I find the need for some god to be irrelevant from my perspective, although I acknowledge the strength and security that can come from such beliefs. I tend not to judge people based on beliefs, but more on behaviour and philosophy, which can be articulated or just exhibited by action and integrity. It really isn’t any more complicated than that.

I hope that someday we will be able to answer these many concepts and questions, and we will cease to question the need for resolution.

I can only wish everyone the peace and tranquility they need to address and confront these horrible things that people do to each other and every living thing on the planet. I can only speak for myself, and make the attempt to be a part of the solution, and not a part of the problem.


John

Lone Cypress Workshop