Supernatural Creatures Convention

I became aware of the convention during one of my rare jaunts into the city. The ad was in a newspaper I was idly skimming as I sat pretending to drink coffee in the shade and its contents caused me great excitement.

A three-day Supernatural Creatures Convention starting the very next Friday.

I thought it strange it was being advertised so blatantly, but perhaps the modern world had grown tolerant of such things?

It certainly sounded like a marvellous place to meet my own kind. Centuries of lurking alone in one abandoned building after another had grown stale long ago.

I resolved to attend, but first – I looked down at my flares and platform boots – I needed to update my look.

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I made the trip back into the city for the convention at dusk on the Friday evening. My excitement, which had been simmering all week, was overflowing by the time the hotel came into view.

I was looking spiffing in a tweed suit and a top hat and felt certain tonight was the night I would find the one. A vampire bride who would join me in my hovel, keep me company during the long days and share the occasional screaming human snack with me; ‘but no murder!’, I would insist, smiling and tutting and oh how we’d laugh!

I stopped abruptly in the car park when a creature of unknown origin appeared, smoking a cigarette. It turned to me, puffing out a series of smoke rings.

‘Good evening.’ I nodded to the creature, and it nodded back.

‘What are you?’ I queried politely. It was a hideous looking thing really, with plasticky dark blue wings jutting from its spine.

The hideous thing smiled. ‘I’m a dark faerie,’ it said.

‘A dark… faerie?’ That did not sound like a real thing, but I wanted to keep it civil. Perhaps they knew vampires.

‘Say, do you happen to know any vampires?’ I asked, and then curled my lip to show my fangs, pointing at them for good measure. ‘Like me,’ I added. I was not at all sure of this creature’s intelligence.

The dark faerie peered at me closely. ‘Oh darling, is that what you are!’ She gestured to the door where a hobbling beast in the vague shape of a horse was trying to navigate the steps. ‘There’ll be loads inside! Vampires are always a big hit, but it’s a bit cliché for me.’

I thought that rude, but the idea of hordes of vampires inside cheered me. Perhaps there I would find the one.

‘Thank you faerie,’ I said and darted up the steps, squeezing past the horse thing which squeaked in surprise.

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There were many strange and enchanting beings wandering around the convention hall. I had never encountered another vampire, let alone a whole conference of the supernatural and it was exhilarating to be among my own kind.

I was registered at the door by a werewolf who handed me a blank name tag, which I dutifully wrote my name on and stuck to the lapel of my jacket before beginning to circulate the room.

It didn’t take long to find the vampires.

There were so many - blonde ones, willowy ones, short ones, ones in distastefully ripped tights, ones in flowing dresses who looked like they’d climbed straight out of coffins - it was impossible to choose who to approach, let alone who I wished to make my eternal companion in death.

Then I saw her; dark hair spilling around her shoulders, blood red lips, and eyes so deep and enigmatic, I could fall right into them and never be found.

I almost bounded up to her. ‘It’s you!’ I gestured.

‘Me?’ She asked, her brow furrowing.

I nodded vigorously. ‘I do believe you’re the vampire wife of my dreams.’

My words didn’t exactly have the desired effect.

She started laughing.

It carried on for rather a long time, considering I had expressed nothing but the utmost sincerity in my sentiment.

‘Oh my god!’ She said finally. ‘Is that how you hit on people? That was the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard!’

I maintained a dignified silence. She looked me up and down and her smile warmed a little. ‘I’m Delilah. You are kind of cute.’

Cute was not my preferred descriptor, but I would take anything in this moment. The exhilaration returned.

‘Winston,’ I smiled back at her, baring my fangs again. Perhaps this was how vampires conducted their mating rituals. It seemed as good an approach as any.

She bared her own back at me and cackled again.

My delight with the turn the interaction was taking was cut short when my gaze landed on the creatures engaged in conversation behind her. As I stood there, I witnessed the humanoid serpent tug at its own head, hard, until it popped right off.

I gasped and took a startled step back. Delilah’s features twisted in concern, and she looked around at the crowd. ‘What?’

I couldn’t take my eyes off the serpent, now standing there with its plain old boring human head. Not a serpent at all. And to make matters worse, the werewolf it was talking to suddenly yanked at its own head and that too popped off.

I whirled to Delilah. ‘These things are all human.’ I pointed at the werewolf. ‘Look, its head!’ I sputtered. ‘Did you know?!’

Delilah threw her head back, laughing again, her fangs glinting under the fluorescent lights. ‘Did you not?’ She asked, a note of incredulity in her tone. ‘Damn, you’re really into role playing, huh?’

I was struck by a worse thought. ‘Are you human, Delilah?’ I gripped her wrist.

Delilah shook her head. ‘Me, human? Never! My god, you really don’t get out much, do you?’

‘Perhaps,’ I ventured, licking my lips. ‘We could get out together?'

‘Perhaps,’ she agreed.

I pretended I hadn’t felt the pulse.