Letter to a New Friend

Monday, 22 Oct 12

Hi Jeanette; I'm very pleased to make your acquaintance.

One important thing you should know about me is that I'm a writer. The word probably evokes a lot of different thoughts, though hopefully most are good. That said, I tend to write about my experiences, both for a personal record (since my memory is aging faster than my body, I think), and as therapy (it enables me to collate the events that occurred and fix them firmly in my memory as good, bad or indifferent). I assure you, all aspects of our day yesterday are great!

I awoke this morning to nature's call about 4:30 and could not get back to sleep. Of course, you were the reason for this bout of insomnia. The truth was I didn't mind one whit.

I mentioned I love to write, but didn't say that my creative period is the early morning. I often just lay in bed, thoughts and ideas churning like a tornado in my mind. I keep a notebook and pen beside my bed, though seldom can my fingers keep up with the thoughts rushing down my arm to the paper. I'd wager a quarter of the things I write from that state are so illegible, I can scarcely read them. Before I get up, I'll re-read this to make sure all is clear.

The events of yesterday were foremost in my mind. I thoroughly enjoyed being with you. It was the best time I've had in a very long time, most likely owing to your easy disposition and your great outlook on life. You are very easy to talk with, something I hope to continue doing very soon.

I must tell you that I awoke Sunday morn with a knot in my stomach; those twins, apprehension and anxiety, hovered over me. I had half expected you to cancel our hike. This on-line dating thing was so new to me, I had no idea what to expect. And I certainly wouldn't fault you--after all, you couldn't know who I was, or anything about me ... really! If I'd really thought about, why should I have expected someone who had never met me to want to spend some measure of time hiking alone on some small part of Missouri? Of course, I had no idea how many folks would be hiking around us.

I went to my shop before church as I usually do to check my email. Strangely, I was comforted by seeing none from you. Yay! No cancellation ... yet.

Church had a calming effect on me, more-so than usual. While I enjoy playing guitar in our Praise Band, I let myself go a bit more than usually do; I added a few embellishments to my playing that I believe added to the music. I think our group clicked that service. I let any residual apprehension I felt morph into anticipation. I'm afraid I had a hard time concentrating on the sermon. A small--very small--part of me wonders what the pastor spoke about.

Leaving church, I noticed the clouds moving in, and that worry returned. What if it rained? She certainly wouldn't want to meet in the rain. But there was no text from you when I turned my phone back on--again, great news.

I grabbed my things and got on the road, Mr. Anticipation pushing my foot ever so slightly harder on the gas pedal. Arriving even earlier than I had planned, I attempted to read ... and failed miserably. Questions kept overpowering the words on the pages, assaulting those hapless words into incoherency.

Will I recognize Jeanette? What if she sees me first and decides this isn't a good idea? What if one of us doesn't like the other? Would we be honest or strong enough to say so?

I almost yelled, 'Enough!' I knew that was just my fear talking. Why the hell was I listening? Meeting someone for a date for the first time in more than 35 years was indeed daunting. I was scared. But I was determined to see this through.

I saw you as you pulled into the parking, knowing it was you. I tried not to let on that I'd seen you. I was actually studying you in my rear-view mirror. My first thought was how attractive you were. After we got out and looked at each other, I felt you'd drawn the shorter straw. Damn mirror didn't do you justice; nor did your posted pics. Your later comment about your daughter telling you not to wear certain pants because they made your butt look bigger could not have been true. To be honest, I found you quite engaging, both mentally and physically.

Don't do something stupid and blow this, Jace, I thought. I must tell you that my mouth often engages before my brain--my crack about having to carry you out should you fall was most distressing to me. It was not me at my best. The truth is, I would have done anything to assure your safety, including carrying you out. That is what a guy does for a gal in his charge.

Thank you for a most enjoyable day. And a special thanks for your kind words as we parted. I too will enjoy seeing you again soon. Oh, and I think (at least in my mind), I'm a better kisser than I exhibited at our farewell. I was unbelieveably nervous. I'm surprised I didn't bust a tooth from shaking. Thank you for your patience when I tried again. Honestly, I didn't want our day to end. In the words of my Mom (she really did tell us this often, though I'm pretty sure she didn't originate it), "Always leave the table wanting a little more." I believe she was telling me better things were to come. I'm looking forward to that, Miss Jeanette.

I shall be hard-pressed to think of work this week. When I think of our time together yesterday, I realize how little fun I've had in the past year. I didn't even know how much I'd been missing. I hadn't wanted to cloud my judgment about jumping into a relationship with the first woman I met, at least not so soon after my divorce. I'm very afraid of being a rebound relationship, though to tell the truth, since I've never been in such a situation, I don't even know if this applies. Frankly, I like you ... a lot, and am not afraid of seeing where this might go. I may move slowly ... but am not averse to being pulled along faster if you wish.

My biggest fear is misleading you, by me trying to be who I think you want. Please understand I shall endeavor at all times to be just plain old me. I plan to be myself and nothing but myself. I hope I will be a person you can enjoy. Finally, please be honest with me as I will be with you. If, at some point, like--infatuation--enjoyment--whatever ceases, please let me know. I'd rather know sooner than later for both our sakes.

All that said, I'm assuming that I will see you again. I hope so. I can't tell you how good you made me feel when you told me that you enjoyed our time together after we parted. I guess time will reveal its secrets to us in due course.

Jace

Word Count: 1231 words

Author Note: I married Jeanette 13 months later, heading to anniversary number 11.