Exploding Daisy?

         First let me set the record straight. Whomever coined this erroneous phrase has never been privy to all the facts. If I'm being generous, not everyone ever has been, privy that is. So, here's the saying passed from loose lip to glib tongue.Nobody has encountered an explosive daisy and lived to tell the tale. Does it sound believable? You hear explosive and kaboom, you think total destruction, am I right? They dwell upon the ex.

         Strange, but few people question the daisy part of this equation. Do they think it's some kind of metaphor? What does a daisy represent? Is it innocence, new beginnings, joy and cheerfulness? Did someone dare to blow up all these pretty ideals?

         As I already mentioned I know this tale. I was there. I am a witness. If you can't believe me, who can you trust? I will concede that something may well have if not exploded let's say erupted. Oh, and yes, it was white, whiteish. Okay, I will confess it was a living thing. A thing that sprouts from the ground and sprawls in the sun.

         This is where I should probably explain I am not your average Joe, or Larry, or even Charming. Admittedly, I've always been rather large -boned. Think of stature and that would be me. I tower over, well, a tower, a castle tower. The exact measurements are not important and besides they'd be impossible to attain. No stick, or line, or tape exists for this daunting task. Suffice it to say I am height enhanced. If you tilt your head back and strain to look waaay up, you just might catch a glimpse of me. Okay, I admit it. I'm a giant. Just don't refer to me as a gargantuan. I'm sensitive that way.

         As you may have noticed I tend to be long-winded. I carry many words in my massive head and they fuss something terrible if I don't let them out once in a while. This is relevant to my tale. I promise.

         So, picture me minding my own business atop my mountain. I can become as bored and restless as the next person. I scooped up a handful of...no, not daisies, dandelions. Yes, the poofy, gone-to-seed, white ones. Bear in mind my mittful amounts to hundreds of this weed, or is it a flower? I shall call them blooms.

         Do you recall I stated there was not an explosion? I sniffed at the multitude of dandelions and, upon reflection this was not entirely a surprise, I sneezed. See? It was an eruption. But it didn't end here in that one simple action.

         Obviously, I lived to tell the tale, but another tail had rather an unfortunate experience. My nasal reaction creates quite the punch. You might know it as a tornado. The unexpected vortex swept my dragon up into the stratosphere and dashed him to the rocky ground. I had to break it to him that his tail was crumpled, fractured, useless. Nothing compares to an upset dragon who cannot thrash with his tail.

         He's as well as can be expected under the circumstances. We're somewhat certain the tail will not have a permanent kink. So, there you have it. The correct and accurate saying is nobody has encountered an erupted dandelion and lived to tell his tail. ( 554 words )