Dave's newsfeed fun'n'games

Contests and activities on the newsfeed

Challenge: Poem, max 15 lines, picture of dog. April 6, 2024

It's YOU I'm looking at, pal.
I'll stare you out, you'll see.
I damn well know it's dinner time
SO HURRY UP - FEED ME!

You see those nice new slippers?
The ones you bought today?
If you still want them in one piece
THEN GET MY DINNER TRAY!

I'm really not aggressive.
Not me, not good old Bruce.
If you don't get your ass in gear
YOU'LL SEE ALL HELL BREAK LOOSE!

About time.
Get lost.
Can't you see I'm eating?


Challenge: Write a little 5 sentence poem about a Purple Princess! April 12, 2024


Princess Leia sat down in the chair,
for Raymondo to highlight her hair,
but the silly old tart¹
was as pissed as a fart²
and sloshed purple dye everywhere


1 London slang: potentially gay
2 London slang: somewhat inebriated


Challenge: Write a sentence using the word pelmatogram (i.e. footprint). August 22,2024

After recently attempting to read through the fine print of a legal document, I would like to take this opportunity to promulgate the hypothesis that any practitioner of the compositional arts exhibiting a penchant for using obfuscatory and oft-times sesquipedalian terminology in their oeuvres in lieu of utilising an eminently more accessible mono- and bi-syllabic vocabulary should be cautioned to deprecate said practices with immediate effect lest they be delivered of a merited pelmatogram in the gluteus maximus.


Challenge: Write a sentence using all 26 letters. September 27,2024

The fat, prolix quantity surveyor majestically waddled backwards up the ziggurat.

Zbignew's excitable yodelling ofttimes invoked jaundiced questions regarding his parentage.

Quentin's flagrant peccadilloes saw his visa withdrawn by Jamaica, Kiribati, Mexico and Zanzibar.

Malevolent flatulent warthogs expel vast quantities of ozone-eating hydrocarbons while oinking joyfully.


Ghazal  Challenge April 17, 2025

And so we are alone at last, away from prying eyes, my love,
with no one to disturb us or to hear our tender sighs, my love.

So very long have I been patient, waiting through these many years,
and now the time has come, the moment I have yearned is nigh, my love.

I know you feel the same way too, you can't deny your inner self,
so do not flinch, don't turn away, there's no need to be shy, my love.

I know not why you must protest, to play this childish game with me,
to fight, resist my overtures, to struggle thus and cry, my love.

If you insist, I'll play my part, I'll act the savage if I must;
I rend your clothes, I cup your breasts and now caress your thigh, my love.

And now, our passion spent, the final act of our romance is nigh,
I draw my blade across your neck; the time has come to die, my love.