The Big Mac Assassination Plot

The Big Mac Assassination Plot
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PG 13

994 Words


         A new radical left-wing domestic terrorist group, (China, Iran, North Korea, and Russia secretly funded them) decided to assassinate the former president, hoping his supporters would revolt and usher in the Second Civil War in retaliation. They came up with an insidious plot.

          They realized that the former president was one Big Mac away from a heart attack. They also realized that creating a Big Mac Bomb would be very easy to do. Just insert poisons in the food that would result in a person having a new fatal heart attack The beauty is that you don't need very much of the poison and you would not find any detectable traces in the subject's blood after six hours.

         All they had to do was to infiltrate the nearest McDonald’s to the former president’s house in Florida. And then when they got the inevitable order for a couple of Big Macs, label the Big Mac for the Big Man. And in that Big Mac, insert the odorless, tasteless undetectable poison.


         McDonald's hired them and they soon cased the joint, learning the procedures. They learned that only the team leader could handle the Presidential Big Mac which was conveniently labeled POTUS. The former President, being paranoid, would only eat the labeled Big Mac which greatly facilitated the assassination plot. The three plotters replaced the team leaders, so they had it covered.

          The next day they got the call that the big man wanted five Big Macs and fries. They went to work and inserted the poison. And then when the former president bit into the Big Mac, five minutes later, he was dead. The assassination plot worked like a charm. The Secret Service interrogated them and cleared them as their cover story as white college kids working part-time with a good work ethic checked out. They were suitably upset and contrite that their Big Mac had led to the death of their hero.

         The medical coroner ruled out foul play as they could not detect any poison in the Burgers. McDonald’s was soon closed due to its notoriety as the site of the Big Mac assassination. McDonald's hired a PR team to convince the public that no one could assassinate anyone using a Big Mac poison attack. But the conspiracy spread fed by the terrorist team leaking how they had carried out the assassination and claiming that the President had ordered the hit of his political rival.

         Within days, the U.S was engaged in a massive internal civil war between the MAGA crowd which were convinced that the President had ordered the assassination hit squad against the former president. The president went on nationwide TV calling for calm, denying all knowledge of the plot and promising a thorough investigation. The ex-president’s funeral was a huge security nightmare, as thousands of MAGA militias provided security. The former president’s son ran for president instead of his slain father and said that he did not want to invite the president and ex-presidents to attend the state funeral. The speaker of the House represented the White House at the funeral.

         At the funeral, the ex-president’s son announced that he would run for President of the newly launched Christian States of America led by Texas which had declared independence and. 35 other states decided to join. And the war was on.

         The presidents of China, North Korea, Iran, and Russia called the ex-president’s son with official condolences and offered to help investigate the assassination. The FBI set up an assassination review team and officially welcomed the assistance along with the assistance of more traditional allies.

         The four foreign leaders congratulated each other on the great success of their new assassination tool and ordered that the assassins all be rounded up and executed so nothing could be traced back to them. Frank Lewis, the inventor of the.” Big Mac Bomb” knew that this was happening. and was ready for it. He threatened to reveal everything unless the four leaders promised to protect their identity. And giving them $1,000,000 apiece. The leaders promised to do so but lied and they were assassinated one by one. Within weeks, the American public began to forget the details of the assassination as a full-blown civil war erupted.

          But this time around, the US government called for a new constitutional convention to settle what was now being called Civil War 2.0. One year later the dust settled and ten new nations emerged from the chaos of Civil War 2.0.

         The new nations consisted of the Christian States of America 25 States and three Canadian provinces, Capitol Omaha) and their allies, the Texas Republic Texas, Western Oklahoma, and Northern Mexico; the Utah Republic (Utah, Southern Idaho, and Northern/Eastern Nevada), and the Caribbean. American states , Southern Florida., and the Caribbean island nations. Including the Dominican Republic. Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands, the Eastern Caribbean and. Cuba, based out of Miami, northern Florida joined the Christian States, and The Jefferson Republic, NE California, Western Nevada, Eastern Oregon, Eastern Washington, parts of Idaho, Montana, the Dakotas, capitol Spokane).

The Christian States were opposed by The Two West Coast Federations, the Northwest Federation,and Northern California, Western Oregon, Western Washington, British Columbia, southern Alaska, with the Capitol in San Francisco) and the Southwest Federationg of Southern California, Northern Mexico, Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, and Nevada, Capital Los Angeles).

They were allied with Chicago land ,Chicago suburbs, northern Indiana, Illinois, Michigan, Minnesota, and Ontario; The East Coast Federation. most of the Upper East Coast and southern Canada, although Western Pennsylvania and Northern New York joined the Christian States, capital NYC; The French American Federation,Quebec, and Northern Maine. Louisiana. Haiti. Guatemala and Martinique, capital Quebec). And the Native Nations of America, 600 individual Indian nations with their headquarters in eastern Oklahoma, were renamed Sequoia,and The Pacific Island Federation, Hawaii, Guam, America Sonora, Micronesia, and the Philippines.