I think.about things

March 9, 2024

Barely any of us live and thrive anymore. We are almost all walking zombies or floating ghosts that no one notices anymore. Is this the future we want to continue to build?


March 12, 2024

Why doesn't Starbucks have more seating? Their reserve location at the base of the Empire State Bldg (NYC, USA) would be an excellent location to put a nice patio area, or at least a few tables outside where people could sit and communicate through genuine conversations, inspire new connections, build relationships, and learn/hear fresh and interesting perspectives about all sorts of matters... ya know, like those cute cafes in Europe that inspired the whole Starbucks chain in the first place.

Also, maybe the people who complain about New York and other cities smelling like piss are smelling all the dog piss from the people walking their pets in the streets who just piss wherever they please. Oh, and not everyone picks up their dog shit. Some people think that is beneath them and other people should do it for them. Ya know, us lower species of human beings who don't have the appropriate social status to be able to meaningfully contribute to society with their intelligence. We are only good for scrubbing toilets and sidewalks. Nothing wrong with that job, I've done those jobs many times over my life... but some of us aspire to be more—we dare to dream of being able to contribute and utilize our skills. We want to learn and grow. We want a chance to do something with purpose and perhaps even interact with other human beings in a meaningful way.

03/13/24
A lot of Hollywood et al. has turned the Free Palestine slogan into some trendy popular hashtage holier than thou bullshit. Ooh, look how progressive and hip I am as I side with the "cool" terrorists who are "freedom fighters": the true champions who are bravely resisting the systemic oppressors of Israel, the evil Zionist monsters. Look how we are resisting those Jew bitches who control the world. We are so awesome as we are "bucking the elite 1%", which is obviously comprised of solely Jews and their Zionist sympathizers. They have embraced that stupid narrative and turnrd it into a trendy fashion, artistic, and political statement—with encouragement from the Muslim Brotherhood, their associates, et al.

It's weaved into the B-D.I.E. bullshit to make it seem like it's all about peace, love and unity; but, as usual, the Islamic Jihadists have hijacked those terms from elsewhere and twisted them to quietly and "safely" dupe others into believing that they are fighting for those at the bottom. But they are exploiting them and using their art as weapons to recruit more bodies for their death cult, disguised as a really good cause.

03/14/2024

Hey kids! #DYK if you self-identify as LGTBQ+ soup, and claim to suffer from mental distress then you too can collect benefits from the government—including getting a inner track through specialized programs to help you enter into certain industries, such as the government and many corporate jobs which encourage, support, and sometimes even reward these kinds of shenanigans. Yes, that's right, you too can go that route or even just collect benefits and assistance for housing and other programs enabling you to essentially live for "free" in many "historically white" countries and nations all over the world! And then, you can supplement that government support (which is funded by taxpayers who work actual jobs and do not get all the "free perks" by claiming insanity and self-identifying as a underrepresented group) via business ventures and entrepreneurships and other side hustles and make even more money under the table! Mental illness and alternative sexuality for all!

Some of us simply can't partake in this type of nonsense as it is detrimental to the rest of humanity and encourages the creation of a welfare state—which is what socialism actually is. Also, it takes resources, including social workers and other human health and welfare/wellness professionals away from those who legitimately need and want help which then strains and costs the "social safety net" and health care system. I'm Canadian, I understand this game very well. It is rampant in South America and Latin America. If socialism is so wonderful, why do all the people from the south risk their fucking lives to come to the USA? Anyone wanna answer that? Tito Ortiz probably knows a thing or two about that!

03/15/2024

The shelter system here could use some books or libraries/learning centres for self-directed study.
Bathrooms/showers especially need hooks and milk crates to store and hang clothes and belongings so it doesn't end up on the floor
Nice they offer art and talk therapy, but would be more beneficial to have exercise too. Yoga is wonderful for balance, strength, flexibility and relaxation. Helps with stress and anxiety and many other things. It is gentle and low impact on joints and appropriate for all ages and "levels" of fitness. It is a full mind, body, soul/spirit exercise. There is a focus on breathing as well, which is incredibly helpful to "rebalancing" neurotransmitters without a bunch of useless additive chemical fucking garbage manufactured pills and shit!

Sometimes, endless talking about your trauma and rehashing it just encourages your mind and body to stay in that state and you don't move beyond it. Give people the tools they actually need to feel confident and empowered. Exercise is 100% necessary!!! Kickboxing helps me channel my aggression and anger in healthy ways. Video games also help me with emotional stuff too, always have, but I also balance this out with exercise and outdoor activities. Daily outdoors time is necessary and being around other humans IRL is 100% essential for recovery and continued overall health.

Hanging out with other humans at music events and festivals is awesome as people stand up and dance and interact. In Canada, it is very common for people to smoke weed at these events, which keeps people calm. Many people become aggressive and feel "overconfident" after consuming alcohol. They do call it liquid courage, eh?

How often do the police or security have to break up a group of rowdy and aggressive stoners (meaning, they have smoked or ingested marijuana? Aren't the marijuana smokers portrayed as lazy brainless fuckers who melt into the couch?? ;)

If you require "proof" that it is not addictive like opioids (which are commonly prescribed by doctors), then use me and other Canadians as examples. We smoke daily, then just stop when we come to the USA. Yup. That easy. You just don't smoke it and find other stuff to do.

Also, most of us "lazy stupid stoners" have no trouble getting a good night's sleep, getting up early, and staying on a regular exercise routine without the need of a personal trainer or someone standing behind them yelling at us to do more. Some people do need more encouragement and motivation, especially when first starting an exercise program. It's important to learn the movements properly and understand how to adapt them as to not get injured.

Jeanette Jenkins is one shining star example of positive encouragement and motivation. Her whole box set of the Hollywood trainer program was the best I ever encountered—and I have tried and studied multiple ones. I think she is a wonderful role model for girls and women. She is on Instagram and puts out Motivational posts routinely and provides many free examples of exercises such as HIIT, and other routines. She knows yoga, pilates, kickboxing, strength training, and more. She also provides essential nutritional advice and is incredibly knowledgeable about overall health and fitness—which is comprised of physical, mental/emotional, and spiritual/whatever you want to label these aspects of whole body health. Our brains are part of our bodies, they require just as much TLC as our muscles and such. Also, our spirit/soul/energy/whatever you want to call it also requires regular attention and nourishment. It is also not some "separate entity". It is part of all of us.

<Potential trigger warning!>

If you hook up an animal (or even a human).to an ECG/EKG and euthanize them, the EKG will continue to pick up their energy/electrical conduction for quite a few minutes after they are already "legally dead". Their heart and breathing will have ceased and their pupils will be fixed and dilated, but the energy of their "heart" continues for a bit before it is "released" or "no longer detected by medical instruments/devices" or "contained" within the empty shell (body).

Further notes on video games:

Video games are essentia learning tools. When I attended challenge class as a kid with Paul Mick, who is a doctor (EENT specialist) we got to play video games such as Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? And the Oregon Trail, and typing games and all sorts of other educational games that helped us develop Further neural pathways and really got us interested and engaged in learning. Other video games such as the following RPG series: Legend of Zelda, Final Fantasy, Ultima, Dragon Warrior/Quest, Xenosaga, and many other games have deep philosophical elements interwoven into the story. The gameplay is very interactive and requires a lot of deep thought & strategy. Tbese games teach many skills as you have to solve puzzles and deeply customize characters and weapons and even skill trees. Diablo is great for this too.

FPS (first person shooters) are another great learning tool for hand eye coordination and peripheral vision development. You also get to deeply customize weapons and armor and more. Games such as the Metal Gear Solid series are incredibly in depth with many options to customize your soldier and the later games in the series have you build a mother Base and recruit or capture soldiers with various specialities and such

Games like SimCity and Sid Meiers Civilization are Excellent for kids And adults to understand how cities function and work and even how different societies can develop and interact. Their instructions are literally like novels. I spent so many hours on video games as a child instead of going to school, which was very boring for me. I was often sick with tonsillitis as a kid and missed tons of school. I read books and played video games (and card games, board games, etc—mostly alone with my circle of stuffed animals to be the other "players" in the games as I was an only child and my family was usually busy. My grandpa played cards and stuff with me, but after he died, I was on my own to continue learning and developing and improving myself so I could be a better help to others.

So fucking tired of seeing all these wannabe men walking along with their replacement girlfriends and children—yeah, that's right, their stupid little doggies dressed up in cute little clothes. Oh look, he's a nice little dog ah, so aad, he lost a fucking leg, boo hoo, talking point to pick up fuckin chicks for the most part. Sorry, I'm not into the save all the poor little creatures and let's make fucking pets out of all the animals in the world who would rather be running wild and free.

Fucking manpurses and hairstyled like they wanna be some stupid fucking model or sumthin. Ladies too! You and your fucking stupid purse size dogs that Act as a child replavement cause y'all can't grow the fuck up and be like real men and women. The ones who went to war, built the fucking Empire State building and the eiffel tower. Got fucked up in war, ladies too, eh? Saw so many people die and get blown the fuci up in front of their eyes and didn't come home and need permanent counseling snd drugs just to deal with every little fucking thing. yeah, maybe some need a stepong stone or crunch for a bit, but even tiny Tim wasn't a whined little bitch like half the people in western fucking society today. Everyone for themselves now. Enjoy the plastic and léeme know if you want some salt to Season up rhat technology.

March 16, 2024

Some of us stop asking for help from family and friends because all the people that said they can help aren't there when you actually need help. Idk how to explain it any better. The end.

NYC is my last stop on my journey. It's a vibrant city full of life and many humans. If I can't make it work here, I won't be able to make it work anywhere. That's just the way it is, doesn't matter what you know, it's really just about who you know. And some people won't ever give you a chance and try and get to know who you are or what you can do. Haven't suffered enough for one side and didn't work hard enough for the other. Both just want me to shut up and be a robot. Do as they want. And I can't do that anymore. It's not real living. I'll take my chances on the side if the street. Steel toed boots and hope for the best. Let my actions speak for themselves, though it'll never be enough for most. I just don't know what else to do. Canada has nothing to give me but welfare, and I want a purpose. The cities up there are far colder than anywhere down here, and I don't mean just the temperature outside. The people are incredibly cold in the city I was born. And Vancouver is nowhere the same as it used to be. People like me won't thrive there. I'm gonna keep trying here, though I'm not some good little girl who fears God, so I might never be accepted by any side at all. Who fuckin knows! Keep doin my thing. Studying at the library. At least I made one person's day earlier today. That makes today Worth it, at least


I'm not sure anyone thinks I'm a real fucking person. I don't think most people can wrap their head around the way I am and the way I think. I am drug free, alcohol free, cigarette free. Healthy, physically and mentally fit and capable. Genuine curioso nature and loves to learn and contribute. I worked for the fucking mayor of Langford and his company, Alpine Disposal and Recycling. I did a great job there and loved what I did, but they didn't appreciate me and his ex-wife hated me. I think she maybe changed her mind about that after I was already gone. I graduated from Thompson Rivers University in 2017 and wrote my VTNE in April 2017. Same month my uncle Mike died (Eadter Sunday). My grandmother died a month later. It's all in my book on my writing account. It's all true. Nothing is embellished. I keep my head up and try and stay positive and focused. And I'll continue to do so.

I am stilstudying Spanish and will keep studying American hx snd politics and current events in the hopes that one day, I will be privileged enough to write the civics exam and be a real American. I don't want to get s Canadian. I don't want dual citizenship. If I get American citizenship I will renounce my damn Canadian citizenship. I don't ever want to go back there unless it's to sit another vigil and deal with another family death. Other than that, there's nothing there for me. The magic and beauty is gone. Guess that's just a reflection of me though. No magic, no beauty (never had that to begin with anyhow). Just a brain, heart, and body that still functions. I hope it's enough.

Also, friends would be nice. Even if I never meet them IRL. It's nice to chat sometimes and not feel so fucking alone.
As long as no one sends me dick pics or naked pic's. I like men but I'm not like that. Never have been and never will. Just not my style.... and that's one style I am 1000% not into trying. Idfc how much money that could be gained by doing some onlyfans bullshit and using makeup, filters, and other fake shit to make me look all fucking fake pretty. Sorry, ladies that do that, if you are offended that I am 1000% against it and are clueless and unable to comprehend why I think that way and are unable to wrap your heads around all the negative ramifications it has on societies and especially on girls and women being able to truly flourish and bloom and rise up in society, and in many other ways, oh well, you can go to hell, lol! (Heather Heying is fucking amazing❤️)

Will edit some other time for grammar and shit. Sometimes you just gotta get thoughts out of your head, ya know? 🫶💪🪶

March 17, 2024

It's hard to sleep when you are hungry and thirsty, but I have had To go to bed hungry and thirsty for water many times before. You eventually get used to it, and the feelings of hunger and thirst slowly diminish after a few days.

It's also hard to sleep when you have bunkmates that snore and text with their keyboard not on mute. Oh well, I can sleep when I'm re:dead... as my came hood says: Long Time Dead

<special aside. Also posted on my Facebook.>

https://actionnetwork.org/petitions/stop-the-execution-of-willie-pye-in-georgia/...

All lives have value and worth—from unborn babies to people who have committed heinous crimes—all have equal worth in the eyes of the creator, or G-d, or however you wish to think about and define that mysterious essence or energy or chemical processes/DNA that designed/designs the earth/universe—which is far beyond our limited human comprehension.

This man is slated for execution of a crime committed in 1992. How many former members if the SS are there who went "free" after WW2 and participating in the murder of over million Jews? How many Japanese people went "free" and got to live their lives after participating in nearly unimaginable criminal behavior such as the rape of Nanking? (Look up the Rape of Nanking by Iris Cheng if you have never heard about this) How many people in charge of POW camps went "free" to live their lives after viciously mistreating the prisoners, poking sticks into actual physical wounds and subjecting them to nearly unimaginable methods of torture? How many men go free after committing violent crimes because they can simply afford a really good lawyer? How many men go free of crimes because their testimony is worth more than the testimony of women? Unsure what I mean by the last sentence? Examine how Sharia law and Islamic law is implemented in Muslim countries, such as Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Yemen, and even how the law "works" in India.

We protect those in jail who are convicted of sexually assaulting and raping children by putting them into protective custody so the rest of the inmates don't beat those deviants within an inch of their lives, yet we want to kill a man with a severe intellectual disability who can't even achieve an average result in an IQ test? Are the prison guards actually afraid of him? Have you taken their testimony into consideration or is that not "admissible evidence" under some stupid old statute from the 1800s when slavery and shit was still legal?

For that matter, how many slave owners who beat and viciously tortured and raped their fellow human beings got to keep living their lives freely without punishment? You "justice systems" are so flawed, but none of you seem to care as long as the money keeps flowing and y'all get to feel important and retain your special status on the hierarchy of this "free market, capitalist economy" structure y'all are so proud of?

And so many of you claim you are "right with G-d"... how do you think your "God" or "Jesus" views you? Will he forgive you for murder when you arrive at the pearly gates of your magical heaven in the sky?

Any questions or comments? I am always open for discussion and conversation—anytime.

Anyhow, I'll conclude with a comment from another anti-death penalty I recently signed:

The death penalty has no place in a modern and civilized society. Incarceration is the punishment. Please consider all of the ramifications of administering the death penalty as a form of justice. This "final solution" for those who have been convicted of crimes creates a devastating ripple effect on friends, family members, clergy members, and others—including those who become invested and involved with the education and rehabilitation of the incarcerated person. Many people develop severe and long-lasting psychological issues, such as PTSD, after witnessing and being exposed to humans being put to death. These psychological consequences have been well-studied and are not confined to those who intimately know the person being put to death. This outdated method of punishment also negatively affects those who are involved with the administration of this form of "justice".


Oh, and apologies for any grammar/spelling issues here. I am typing on my phone and I don't use your stupid AI technology to think and write for me. I write from my heart, which is connected to my brain and body—and to the energy of my soul or spirit or whatever you feel is "appropriate" to call or name that which exists but we cannot hold onto like a physical object.

Thank you for your time.

Chantelle Marie Smith, adult human female born and raised in Victoria, BC, Canada
DOB: September 17, 1980
Arrived legally at JFK Airport on a plane, living here in Brooklyn, NY "illegally" and hoping to "integrate" and be "accepted" here so that one day I can be a real American and contribute to your society and country.
Maybe one day someone will see me, and many others who are "like me".

March 19, 2024

My name is Chantelle Marie Smith. I believe in humanity and I want to work and live here. Canada is a welfare state. I am independent. I hope the USA still believes in independence too.
I am a honest and hardworking legitimate human being who wishes to legally live and work here in NYC, New York, USA and contribute to society in a meaningful way.

I am requesting that you please recognize me. I am a legitimate and kind human being who has no wish to swindle your system or do any harm to anyone. I have been here since March 8, 2024 and will not be going back to Canada as there is no longer any future or opportunities there for me. They don't even allow me to work unless I just nod my head and do as they say without asking any questions. Their diversity, equity, inclusion and belonging religion refuses to include me. I sincerely hope that is not how you operate here. I have nowhere else to go. This is my last best shot at life.

Please consider my request. I still have a bit of money from selling what I had to fund my integration here and help pay for whatever fees may be necessary to be "legal". I already have job skills and an education. I have a high school diploma (December 2013) and I graduated from Thompson Rivers University in 2017. I completed a 3 year distance education program for Animal Health Technology. I wrote and passed the VTNE at Camosun College in April 2017.

I have a Canadian cellphone number and the plan I pay for via Freedom Mobile is valid for all over Canada and the USA. I can make and receive unlimited calls and text messages, but the services offered here in NYC don't seem to accept my phone number for any of your immigration services that claim to be available to all immigrants.



I came here legally on a plane with my legitimate and 100% valid Canadian passport via JFK Airport. I arrived March 8, 2024 and even bought my own 30 day metro pass so I could travel anywhere in NYC. I cannot go back to Canada as no one will hire me, despite my formal, and informal, education and extensive work experience. I have lots of work/personal references and all of my employment history can be confirmed via the Canadian Armed Forces—if you need to verify anything. I even recently took the CFAT (Canadian Forces Aptitude Test) and had no issues with scoring well in all areas. I have many skills and abilities and would like to be a contributing member of society here. I don't care if I have to stay at shelters, but it would be nice to work. I am a single, 43 year old female with no children and no health conditions/concerns. I am physically fit and very capable and willing to work. I don't care if I have to work 2 jobs picking up trash from the streets—I don't consider any job to be "beneath me". I am not high and mighty, and I certainly don't come from a high and mighty family either!

I speak English fluently, as it is my native tongue. I can also communicate well in French and Spanish. Additionally, I can say and understand basic phrases in Japanese, Welsh, German, and Hebrew—if any of that might be helpful to anyone. I am also happy to volunteer to prove my worth. I do not drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes or do any drugs other than drinking one coffee most days. Every so often I take acetylsalicylic acid or ibuprofen PO (per os), PRN, but that is quite rare. I also speak and understand medical terminology due to my education and work experience.

My resume and further info is here:

https://linktr.ee/chantellemariesmith

You can contact me via phone: [phone], through Facebook or Instagram, or you can reply to this email. If you have any further questions, I am willing to meet in person or via Zoom or whatever other method works for you.

Thank you for any assistance or advice you may be able to provide. I really love NYC. I hope to be a real legal American citizen someday. (And no, this message is most definitely not a joke).

Thank you for your kind consideration🫶

Chantelle Marie Smith
#NeverForget911 🌹❤️🌹

#NeverAgainIsNow

I acknowledge Israel, and the entire city of Jerusalem, as the traditional and unceded homeland of the Jewish people who have lived on the land since time immemorial.
#IStandWithIsrael ❤️✡

March 19, 2024

I'm not eating the bread and shit because it makes me feel really sick and I end up with dry itchy skin and scalp. Why eat food that will make you super sick? There's nothing "wrong" with the food, but not everyone can eat the same food. I am not sure why I am banned from eating extra fruit. I used to be able to tolerate that kind of food, but I can't anymore. That is not unusual as humans often have different dietary needs depending on age, activity level, and other factors. Wheat and the vast majority of the "traditional" complex carbs make me feel ill and sluggish. There are plenty of carbs in fruit and veggies, provided I am allowed to eat what I need. I wish I could still eat bread, but anything beyond a sparing amount and it fucks with my digestion so badly that I can't do what I normally do. Same with rice and all the rest of that shit.


I wonder if someone with celiac disease would be shamed for refusing to eat wheat, rye, Barley, and oats.

I will not beg for food or do any illegal work until I have exhausted all legal and legitimate avenues for finding assistance here. I will make it here in NYC, regardless of how much anyone, including big government, corporate assholess, and/or UN powers hate me. I am still your worst fucking nightmare—never forget that, muthafuckers

🎶You have not seen the last of me🎵

Oh, and fuck your welfare state and systems of control. And your compelled speech laws and holy fucking B-DIE religion of nonsense.

I will feel much better tomorrow, or even later today, after a nap and some more food. It is human to need to sleep and eat. If we don't get enough of either for weeks on end, it becomes hard to focus and continue to maintain homeostasis. I am.not.a machine, though I am 100% capable of pushing myself to the extreme in essentially any kind of situation. If suddenly my life was in danger right now, I would just automatically fight. I am not.in danger. I am safe and warm and in a good place. I could go and buy food, but I need to conserve what I have to pay for whatever fees I have to in order to become American, or at least get a legal job.

Lots of people only care about themselves and what they can get for as little as possible. I am not like that. I will never be like that. That is why I am here in the USA. I want a better future for.myself and I want to contribute to a better future, and a better present, for the USA... and for the international community—especially the forgotten feminists and other women around the world who need "real" feminists who aren't afraid to stand up and fight.

I am used to being in "men's spaces". I am not afraid or intimidated by them and the silly little games they play. I am quite used to rolling with the boys. Go ahead, make fun of me. I don't care what you say because my actions speak far louder than my words. I am sure there's men out there who are intimidated by me. Some men get "put-off" by very strong and independent women. I would say those men are probably men with very big and overly sensitive egos or men who lack a strong constitution. My constitution is very strong. I do not give up. The only thing I "gave up" on was my sham of a marriage. In actuality, I spent many years trying to devise a way out... so I never gave up on myself or this world... just had to fucking run for my life so that I may live my life freely and independently... without some crazy fucking ex tracking all my movements, conversations, bathroom habits, and every other minute detail about my life, what I do, who I talk to, who I associate with, what I read, etc etc etc.

If I want to share anything with anyone, it is my choice—no one else's choice... with the exception of certain work environments. I understand confidentiality very well. However, not everything is clear cut and sometimes you have to blow the whistle on former employers. I have quite a few former employers I could share some very interesting things about. As for what my former employers want to share about me—go ahead. Do your best. I don't give a fuck. I know who I am and what I can accomplish and all the other things I am fully capable of given the chance and given an environment I can flourish in. Canada is full of a bunch of pricks who like to target me with "infractions" and supposed "work crimes" and other bullshit "charges". America will find out that I am actually a really good person who is more than capable of looking after themselves and making it, no matter what shit you wanna throw at me amd how hard you try and beat me down.

I've had more than one person and situation that had tried to eradicate my existence. I am still here. I still have lots to give and prove, but I refuse to be an actual asshole and step on anyone else for.anything. That is not in my nature. I will not harm anyone, at least, not intentionally. Some people are very sensitive and I can't do a damn thing about that except for to just keep walking and doing my thing. Even though some people assume I am doing nothing or not enough to help myself or help others. Some people are never satisfied with anything. Even when they have "everything".

I am sure some people assumed that I had "everything" in Canada with my fake fucking marriage and schooling. My employer paid my tuition, yes, but I paid for all my textbooks and all my other fees. Also, I had to pay everything back to them, except for a few thousand as I couldn't stay working for my asshole employers for another 3 years, like their stupid contract outlined. They treated me like fucking garbage. Toxic work environment barely even scratches the surface of that toxic fucking waste dump of a vet clinic: Broadmead Village Veterinary Clinic 2001, Ltd. At 777 Royal Oak Dr in Saanich between the eyeglass place and the pet store beside Mark's Work Warehouse. Beverly Archer of Cats Cradle (who was a bobby in the UK and was very proud to tell me how good she was at pretend crying and playing the poor little old lady in front of the judge to sway things to go in her direction. She proudly scored the top mark in her class for arresting people. She has no feeling for humans. She used to pick up body parts from the subway so ya know, after awhile you just don't care about people anymore. She even chose cats over her own daughter. And she can't let go of anything. she left her husband on life support long past anyone ever should. His pension and settlement, along with grant writing, is how she funds her "saving" of cats. More like long and slow painful torture for most of them. She puts them through crazy shit that is not necessary in the least. Oh, and she has a "lesbian wife" named Kay. She married Kay so she could get Canadian citizenship or residency or whatever you call it.) And Dr Elizabeth Wilson (who is just as crazy about not being able to let go) are 2 of the most nasty and nefarious fucking people I have ever encountered in my life. And we mustn't forget their little puppet, Sara Duncan, who conducts their "human resources" and swindles the system to get all the new immigrants and employees "Essential training" before they all get turfed out by their 3 month review date.

Aw, that poor little Sara Duncan she is so tragically suffering rhe ill effects of intergenerational trauma because her ancestors suffered under the British during the potato famine. (I wonder, can I use that line? I have Irish in me too; however, my Irish ancestral blood gives me strength and confidence—and keeps the fire going in my heart. Also, I definitely got some extra fire in my heart from my Welsh roots—and the Siberian connection!)

Anyhow, dare I say that those crazy bitches might even be worse than my abusive ex-husband: Kelly Guy Burton and my abusive ex-boyfriend: Ryan Andrew Hake who tried to kill me when I decided I was officially leaving him. I deserve a fucking medal just for living through all their bullshit and still managing to work so much, go to school, and help animals and humans along the way.

I did get one stupid medal for being "smart", but it was meaningless and certainly didn't help.me find "better employment". I don't like to talk about that shit or advertise it either. It makes me uncomfortable. I just want people to give me a chance and see what I can do and how I can contribute. You can't stop me from using humor and being the way that I am either. What I do outside of work is no one's business. The end.

The coleslaw they served for lunch is drowning in sugar and I feel nauseous from it..
But I'm still fucking hungry. I need more protein. They do not provide sufficient protein here. Maybe if I sat on my ass all day, this would suffice, but I hate sitting. I am only sitting today because I am hungry and sleep deprived and I had to do laundry and shit. Fuck today. Tomorrow will be better.


March 20, 2023.
OMG, I can feel the sugar overload this morning from the coleslaw and all the mayo I ate to try and satisfy my protein and fat requirements. My bladder is fucking unhappy about it. Extra water consumption should help flush that garbage out. 💪
Already feeling better. Another bottle of water and I'll be feeling good enough to wander Central Park and check out the sundial.. but no sun today. Will take a photo and check it out anyways. Looks int

Did everyone bathe in perfume this morning? My fucking eyes and nose are fucking burning and irritated from all three disgusting fake flowers scents.


Sounds like many migrants come here for the free education. It is very clear to me that your educational offerings and system, including your absolutely incredible libraries are far beyond anything we have in socialist countries... like latin american, southern american, et al.... including the commonwealth nations such as Canada and the queen's tit (I suppose it's the King's tit now, but chestfeeding is a thing now, eh? And oh so healthy for the children we all profess to care so much about) they continue to suck from.... the Monarchy states of the UK and beyond! Coming to the country with children guarantees you a spot as people will have sympathy/empathy whatever you wanna fucking call it. Stupid semantics. I understand wanting a better life for your kids, but it's at the expense of all the taxpayers in the USA. And most migrants aren't even paying taxes or trying to get legal and legitimate employment. They just working under the table, which means the restaurant industry is making a fucking fortune if they can afford to pay 60% of their workers undet the table.

Also, Canada will accept migrants and give free food, shelter, and education.. why don't they go to Canada? There is no wall
You can just walk across the border at Zero Ave in Abbotsford... And Donald Trump is a big scary orange man and he is going to ruin the country. Ah, but all the celebrities who claimed to be so terrified of him elected to stay in the USA. Why didn't they move to Canada?

**Canada is not what is used to be. It used to be halfway decent back in the 1990s and early 2000s. Big city living was a bit expensive, but it was easily affordable as long as you weren't a whiney entitled shit like my former roommate Greg Smith and Chedan. Or many of the whiney entitled "men" I worked with at Alpine who were really good at holding the wall up while I hauled garbage and swept the yard for them, among many other things. I think Stewart, or is it Stuart? Young Sr. discovered that I may have been running a lot of his business quite successfully as I learned from the ground up. And I didn't ask for much. Coffee and a decent wage, but you guys fucked me for that. What.. did Brownwyn suck someone's dick to get paid more than me when I did half her fucking work while Jackie was on maternity leave?

Not only that, but I went way above and beyond for basically every customer and employee you ever had. You didn't appreciate me or even realize my worth until I was gone, did you? Just like most all of my former employers... and ex roommates/boyfriends/husband/etc.

Also,we are fucking infantalizing the entire population with all this psychology shit. Not saying it's all trash, but we are creating weakness, stupidity, and encouraging kids and adults to stay stuck in their fucking "trauma". How the fuck did the kids who saw their friends get blown the fuck up in all the wars of old manage to build all this incredible shit and carry on without being treated like kids? Again, not saying no one needs help with seeing and dealing with nasty shit, but c'mon now. I've seen and experienced trauma. I just kept myself busy with work and stuff.

Maybe we want to make a stupid and infantile nation so y'all can just control every aspect of our lives and treat us as disposable tools to make your plastic garbage so you can continue to sit on your thrones of lies and human skulls. Stupid fuckers. I see right fucking through you and none of y'all like that


I attended Camp Thunderbird in Sooke back in the late 80s/early 90s. No tech, no phones, no comics, no heat, limited running water, etc.
Every morning, we got woken up at 0600 by someone waking around to our cabins banging a metal garbage can lid with a wooden spoon or stick. We had 5-10 minutes to get dressed, then we ran around Glintz lake, went for a polar bear swim, and met st the flagpole where we stretched and did yoga. Then, we all went for breakfast. Take what you need & eat what you take (they didn't force us to.finish our plates, but they encouraged us to not waste food. We aimed for zero food waste and there was contests between cabins for this)

We only had access to an outdoor community shower about once a week. There was zero hot water. We had 5 minutes each to shower. Most of the bathrooms were outhouses. When we went on our overnight trips, we had to carry our own water and dig our own latrines. It was fun. Of course, we weren't expected to live like that every day, but it is fun to reconnect with nature and remember what connects us to our ancestors. We are all very lucky in this "new world" we live in. Too bad so many people are blind to see everything they built for us to enjoy. As humans. To connect a

We also learned crafts, we made dream catchers, candles, homemade paper, we carved and painted our own "talking sticks". We learned archery, rock climbing, canoeing, kayaking, and there was a cool ropes course up in the trees. We learned about respecting the environment and they taught us how everything is connected. Care for the environment, the people around you, and then yourself (as long as you aren't dying or in immediate danger, of course)

Those teachings, and those of my elders, is where I learned to tread lightly, respect others, and share what you have... even if you don't have much.

My grandmother always fed my friends. We didn't have much, so a lot of the time it was just Mr Noodles. I remember my best friend, Cathy Ngo, being over once for Mr Noodles. My grandmother always offered to add grated cheese or a bit of extra veggies for more nutrition. I remember she offered to cut up the Noodles for Cathy—I think she was surprised, but said yes and my grandmother cut the Noodles for her so it would be easier to eat in small bites. My grandmother always cared about all the kids in the neighbourhood like her own. She was never going to let any kid go hungry. She fed everyone. She wasn't th3 best cook, but she always made sure we didn't go hungry. She was th3 most amazing baker though. Pastry was her specialty. She made awesome apple pies and mincemeat tarts. And she always made stuff and bought stuff for all the service workers for Christmas and stuff. She alwa6s had cards and chocolates for the mailman, the people at the doctor offices, dentist offices, and any other people who regularly provided services to us wherever we were.


And yes, we relied on social services to help us. We didn't use and abuse it ever. I did get Christmas stuff through Santa's Anonymous (Via CFAX) as a kid. And sometimes, we got food hampers. My clothes all came from thrift stores. Mostly the Salvation Army. Sometimes, she would shop at the Bay. Not often though. She would save up her points and then buy something she wouldn't otherwise be able to afford, like small kitchen appliances. Most of our kitchen stuff and household items came from other family members, friends, or Zellers (low-cost dept store).

I remember I wanted converse shoes so bad as a kid, but I never got them because we couldn't afford them. We just got the cheap kids or whatever knockoffs were available in the big square discount bins at the cheap dept stores. Just all tossed into a big square in the middle with the overwhelming scent of cheap rubber or whatever they used to make those shoes. The Pic of me in grade 5 at Rockheights I am wearing a shirt from my aunt Trish, shoes from my aunt Rita (probably the socks too). The pants were from some cheapo store. I rarely had matching
Anything. And it never mattered to me. And it still doesn't. Clothes don't make th3 human. I don't care foe designer shit. I have no desire to wear the designer shit they have. Most of those assholes just exploit people in poorer countries and get them to make the clothes for cheap and they sell them for huge profits. It's fucking bullshit dudes!

I'm happy with thrift store clothes. Don't need the "new shit" from the dollar store and otherwise. Mostly made in China by the Uyghur slave labour. That's the new UNspoken holocaust.

I like to buy new shoes as sometimes thrift store shoes are uncomfortable because they get molded to someone else's feet. And yes, I like my converse because I never got to buy them as a kid. They are super comfortable and their size 4.5 men's fits me perfect. I don't even have to try them on and I don't get sore feet even when they are brand new, which is really nice. Lots of shoes take quite awhile to break in, like most of the special safety shoes. They are horribly uncomfortable and give me bad blisters. Steel toe boots sometimes require a brwking in period too, unless you get the army style ones. Sometimes it is hard to find

I wonder if when the "ministry of health officials" of Gaza, (oh wait, that's right, the numbers come from the terrorist group HAMAS, progeny of the Muslim Brotherhood—stupid fuckers are scared of women like me, ain't ya?)

Anyhow, I wonder if they are inclusive with their reporting and also include the children, elderly, and disabled people they blow up and use for shields in their very official counts of human lives lost. They create their own tragedies, sad but true.

Hamas and it's little group of brotherly GCC countries are very rich. They even give fancy gifts to people in an attempt to sway them to be sympathetic to their cause. Why do they not send food and support to Gaza? Why do they not take in the refugees? Do they not have room in their countries or something? There's a whole lot of fucking land there and they have so much money from oil and shit, they don't know.what to do with it. Why are they not supporting the Palestinian cause by actually engaging in some action and activism? Eh? Any of you muthafuckers got a damn response? Your silence is deafening. fucking freaky old sheikh. Are all your fancy palaces and gemstones and fancy gold embossed garbage not enough for you? Do you not have enough young virgins to stick your fucking dicks in?


Imagine if the groups such as MoveOn et al pledged some of that 1B to support disenfranchised youth and families in the USA instead of giving it to the Democrat party and Biden. I understand the need to fund your campaign, but you do not need that much money if your actually a decent person who isn't full of lies and bullshit. I doubt JFK needed that much cash to gain the support of humans in the USA and beyond. He was a kind human speaking from his heart. No, not perfect, but no one is. Maybe if they actually stopped making silly promises they can't possibly keep and were just honest about what they will try and do and if the let the people know what obstacles and red tape and stupid old legislation was in the way, they wouldn't need billions of dollars and fancy gifts to sway people to follow them.
They are buying votes and promising bullshit. It is all empty boxes, empty promises—like hollow trophies on a shelf. They make platitudes, but there is no follow through. It's all just for show. They want to appear and be the "good guys" but they don't care about the people. Just their rich buddies. The rest of us are disposable—regardless of our race, skin color, education, experience, and skills. They just want you to parrot the party line and go along with their exclusive B-DIE club.

They should have all the signs herr in Spanish and English. Especially in the subway. NYC: you are a ssanctuary city welcoming so many people from Latin/Central/South America and the Caribbean who speak Spanish. Why it is not the official 2nd language of the USA is beyond me.

I may be a white woman on the outside, but the fire inside me is way too strong for the vast majority of these British faggoty kow-towing motherfuckers. They cannot handle their own shit so they outsource it to the "lesser people" of society. That includes me, as evidenced by my treatment whilst going through the education system and their awesome employers in Canada (Len was awesome, as was Carl from the Grand Casino😘😘). The only kind people I encountered were immigrants & the real indigenous Natives of North/South America. Like the lady from Metrotown who helped me get into Picasso cafe. I bet she had to navigate their stupid fucking "eveyone is equal" system herself so knew how fucking treacherous and ridiculous it all was/is. I also encountered much kindness and real non-backstabbing friendships with many Chinese, Vietnamese, Taiwanese, South Koreans, Iranians, the real Indians, people from the Dominican Republic (I think that is where Carlos was from?), Guatemalans, Romanians, Ukranians (not my ex, but Vika fuckin'rocks🤘), Russians, Hungarians, Finns, and maybe even a few Jews, lol!! And the neighborhoods that are actually safe and full of kind and welcoming people are the immigrant neighborhoods. Where all the cheap food places used to be. Where you at now though, eh? Selling out at the expense of eveyone else.. as long as your own ass and your immediate family is OK. Most of my own flesh and blood fucking family even fucked me over. Very few actually had/have my back for real.

March 24, 2024

I was transferred to a new facility last night. They said the intake process would take awhile and they said to wait in the TV room. They offered food, but I had just eaten chicken and green beans for dinner and was not hungry at all.



I waited for 2 hours and then could no longer just sit there doing nothing. I have no interest in watching television. The only time I watch TV is when I am sick with the flu or something and can't do anything else. Or, when I am so exhausted I can't read or do something else more interesting and productive with my time (like playing piano, writing, drawing, yoga, kickboxing, reading, or studying/creating something interesting... or even exploring or communicating online with other humans in countries around the world)

I started to pace the hallway as I was very frustrated and had lots of energy from eating meat and vegetables for dinner. I finally asked if there was something I could do. Clean something, help with anything! I was told I could clean tables in the dining room. I was happy to do something useful and not just sit like a lump on a chair staring at a box on the wall without interacting with it (like a video game or something).

I was given one white rag with bleach. I cleaned one table near the window, and while doing the table edges where it was very dirty, I noticed it was very dirty and sticky on the windowsills. It was also full of garbage. I started to clean the windows and sills, and the cloth got very dirty along with the water. I asked for a new cloth and clean water. The lady in the kitchen said they only had the one cloth, but she changed the water with the bleach solution. I carried on with the tables and left the windows and sills alone... for now. I will clean those eventually because they really need it!

I started to change the water and rinse the cloth myself after that by using the bathroom tap. I added plain soap, which is quite effective. Bleaching the tabletops is not necessary. Bleach is necessary for certain things, but we have trained many microorganisms to become resistant to many chemicals, thus, they evolve and adapt. Some have even developed into super bugs.

Simple things such as hydrogen peroxide, rubbing alcohol, lemon water, vinegar, baking soda, and plain bar soap are very effective agents for cleaning and should be used in place of harsh chemicals in most circumstances. Our hyper clean environments are causing us to get more sick and causing many "new" diseases. We do not allow our immune systems to naturally evolve, get stronger, and develop resistance against diseases. Kids who grow up on farms who play in the dirt and touch everything and share germs with other kids are much healthier and resistant to diseases in most cases.

Eating some dirt and microorganisms is not necessarily bad for you. It can be helpful. There is a reason I rarely get sick myself and when I do, it is mild and relatively short lived. I do not wash fruits and vegetables. I eat with my hands a lot, and I'm not scared to eat things that fall on the floor—provided it is not covered in lots of hair or blood or something—we do still have some common sense, don't we?