Nostalgia

I’ve been told by many that I should not dwell on the past, that memories are an anchor that will prevent me from meaningful accomplishments. I argue that without memories one would not be alive. Young people of course pretty much have to live for the future, in part because they haven’t made many memories, or admissible mistakes. I now feel that I have accomplished as much as I ever will. But, I have many great memories, good and bad to see me through for the rest of my life.

Nostalgic days and years have overtaken the foolish days of my youth
Oh! how I long for the ones I left behind.
The family members; who have long passed on.
My mother, my grandparents, my uncles, especially Uncle James who bought me my first car.

We got it at a junkyard, now called an auto recycler. A 1947 red Ford pickup flatbed. Three days later it threw a rod. The dealer gave us another one with no price difference and we did not have to pay any difference. What a deal! The next car was a black ‘49 Ford pickup with a six inch wide front steel bumper. It did not like mail boxes. The lady said not to worry about it, her husband would fix it when he got home, which was good because I had no money.

My Aunts who imparted so much wisdom on my young brain, which I ignored for the first half of my life, but now I realize how right they were.
My few friends, the ones who cared and the ones who didn’t, for they too were a part of my life.
I long for the daughter, who doesn’t speak and the one who does, but lives too far away for a hug.

I long for all the girls i’ve loved before* and some I didn’t. I can still feel their soft bodies pressed to mine, I hope they’re all happy and have some vague memories of me.
I long for days of sunshine; because so many of mine are now cloudy. I long for the days when things were so clear that I could see forever, but now forever is looking at me.
Although I long for what could have been and hope for what will never be, I still find a degree of happiness and hope in what is. So, I hope you, whoever you are and the rest will forgive this old man for having periods of nostalgia for pleasant memories that may, or may not be accurate.

*Song by Willie Nelson and Julio Eglaises