What Evan Liked

"Evan," called his wife, "I just got off the phone with my sister and guess who's coming this weekend!" Then, before he could put down his smartphone and guess, she said, "It's actually that swimsuit model you were just checking out. Don't try to deny it." She laughed.

Evan felt his cheeks turning red. "Well, Tracy likes that I follow her and she's always posting videos of herself modeling her latest outfit. Usually, it's a bathing suit."

"I know. Too cute! Anyway, Lily and Todd are going away this weekend and they asked if we could take the kids.",

Evan knew his wife, Joanne, too well, "They asked?"

"Okay, maybe I asked."

"Asked or begged?"

"Will you stop it? Besides, I know how much you love Tracy and Joey."

Evan frowned. "I love Tracy," he admitted, "but Joey. . . Does he still have that. . .vocabulary?"

"Maybe. . .but he's a boy. What do you expect?"

"I was a boy once. I don't think I expect too much."

"Yeah. You were probably this big goody-two shoes. Most boys aren't like that." She paused. "Anyway, it'll be a lot of fun. I reminded them to bring their bathing suits because we've got the pool."

* * *

The kids were wearing their bathing suits when they arrived. Joey was also wearing a permanent scowl on his face which he reluctantly allowed his Aunt to kiss. Tracy, by contrast, smiled, gave her aunt a big hug, and her uncle an even bigger hug.

"So, Uncle Evan," said Tracy, "do you like my new bikini?"

"Yes, of course," said Evan, "Both pieces are lovely, but only one piece is really necessary."

Evan made that joke every summer. But this time, instead of giggling, Tracy's face seemed to fall, and she withdrew to a corner.

"What's wrong?" asked Evan. "Is it really that old?"

"Oh," said Joanne, "actually Lily mentioned this to me. I think you may have struck a sore nerve."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, apparently, a few of her best friends do need both pieces now. And you know what that's like for a girl who doesn't."

"Oh," Evan felt terrible. Not only did he love Tracy, but he loved that she loved him so much. "Maybe I can talk to her."

"Hey," he said walking into the kitchen where she was standing by herself. "Sorry, I made you feel bad."

Tracy was silent.

"But you know. . .I always thought boobs were overrated anyway.

"No really. What's so sexy about having two mounds of. . . what are breasts made of anyway? Well, whatever. What's so great about having two mounds of that hanging from your chest. It's kind of gross, if you ask me."

A smile was creeping across Lily's face, but when she opened her mouth, something unexpected came out. "If you feel that way, then why did you marry Aunt Joanne?"

"That is an excellent question, Evan." Evan turned and saw, with some embarrassment, that his full-chested wife was standing in the kitchen entrance. "I can't wait to hear the answer."

Evan glanced at his niece, who was now giggling. Then, he turned back to his wife. "Well, you're a beautiful person inside and. . .look why don't we change the subject. Last one in the pool is a rotten egg!"

"Oh all right. I'll let you off the hook for now," said Joanne.

Outside, at the pool, Evan decided to do try another one of his favorite jokes which was to walk clumsily along the pool deck until he "tripped" and tumbled into the pool. When, he came up, he was satisfied to hear laughter, but he forced an angry expression on his face.. "Who thought that was funny?" He climbed out of the pool and looked at Tracy. "Was it you?"

Tracy shrugged and smiled shyly.

"Well, you know what the penalty is for laughing at that, don't you?" He grabbed Tracy by the waist taking a moment to enjoy the feel of her bare belly in his hands. Then, he picked her up and tossed her into the pool. She came up, sputtering but delighted
"What about him?" Tracy pointed to her brother. "He laughed too."

"I did not!" said Joey with genuine alarm.

"Oh, I think you, did," said Joanne getting in on the act. "Besides, it's about time you got your head wet." Then she tossed him into the pool.

When he came up, several four letter words were coming out of his mouth. Evan couldn't help feeling a little sorry for the kid, but Joanne and Tracy were both laughing hysterically.

After swimming, Joanne suggested that the kids should have a bath before dinner.

"That's &%* retarded," said Joey. We were just in the water. Why do we need a *$% bath?"

"For one thing, you need to wash your mouth," said Evan.

But then Tracy spoke, "Anyway, Aunt Joanne, I don't take baths anymore. I take showers." You could tell that this made her feel quite superior.

So Tracy showered. Then Joey did so more reluctantly. When it was Evan's turn to shower, he smiled to himself because he imagined how adorable Tracy's naked body must have looked standing under the spray and covering herself with soap.

Then, they ordered pizza for dinner. Stuffing Joey's face with pizza was about the only thing that would make him stop cursing. After dinner, they watched some movies and a few hours later, the children were in bed.

As Joanne and Evan were retiring to bed themselves that night, Joanne said, "Aren't they just wonderful?"

"I suppose," said Evan.

"Why don't we have any of our own?"

Evan frowned at this. "I can understand being sad that we don't have a girl like Tracy, but look on the bright side, namely that we don't have a boy like Joey."

"Oh come on! He's not that bad." Joanne paused. "Actually, I really want a little boy. Funny, isn't it? Everyone knows the cliche about how the father wants a boy and the mother wants a girl, but when I talk to people who have kids, I begin to think that that cliche might just be wrong. I think deep down most men really want little girls and most women really want little boys>" There was another quiet pause. "Oh well, if we're going to have both, then we need to get busy, right?"

"I suppose. . "

Joanne pulled off her top. "How about now?"

"Right now?"

"Well, nine months from now." She smiled seductively.

"I don't think I can."

Now Joanne frowned. "Can't or don't want to?"

"Can't!" Evan insisted pointing to his crotch.

Joanne sighed. There was another long pause. Then she seemed to get an idea, "Uncle Evan."

"I'm not your uncle. . ."

"Uncle Evan. I'm sad. I'm the only girl my age that has a flat chest."

"Joanne, you don't have a flat chest. Not even close."

"I'm not Joanne. I'm Tracy. I'm twelve years old and all my friends have boobs, but I don't. I don't think any boy will ever think I'm pretty naked."

Evan decided to play along. "I think you look very pretty naked."

"You do?" She became excited and threw her arms around his neck. "Then why don't you prove it."

So Evan closed his eyes and imagined that this was not his full-chested wife, but his flat-chested niece and he enjoyed it quite a bit.

When it was finally over, Joanne broke character. "That was awesome!" she said. "I can't remember the last time it was that good. In fact, I can't remember the last time!"

Evan didn't speak. He just smiled with satisfaction.

"So," Joanne smiled. "I wonder which we made tonight. A boy or a girl?"

"Whoah!" said Evan. "You realize we may not have made anything. Sometimes that happens."

"Oh sure, I knew that. But, in that case, we can just try again. I've got some great ideas."

"Ideas?"

"Sure, maybe sometime you could be Joey. And I could help teach you to shower. Or maybe. . ." She proceeded to list several more scenarios.

And, Evan admitted to himself, they all sounded like a lot of fun.

1,350 words