IF I COULD BE A SAMWICH (Part One)

IF I COULD BE A SAMWICH (Part One)



If I could be a samwich
I would be full o' baloney
with cookie dough n' mayonnaise
n' lotsa pepperoni

If I could be a feathered fowl
a chicken I would be
(free-run of course) but never stray
too close to KFC

If I could be an astronaut
I'd warp from here to Mars
Once there, I'd build a candy store
n' sell "EARTH" choc'late bars

If I could be a body part
well that one ain't no trubble
A lady-boob is what I'd choose
In fact, make that a dubble!

If I could be a Captain
I'd command the "ENTERPRISE"!
"FIRE PHASERS, MISTER SULU!"
(Send them BORG to their demise!)

If I could be a Poplar tree
I'd have a lotta fans
n' folks would travel miles to see
how poplar that I am

If I could be a jelly bean
Methinks I'd be a red one
I'd rather not get ate, o' course
cuz then I'd be a dead one!

If I could be an octopus
I'd live in sunken ships
n' in the ghostly galley, I'd
eat soggy fish n' chips

If I could be your stomach
I'd digest whate'er you supped
But if you send down broccoli
I'll puke it right back up!

If I could be a pomer
I would finish this pome now
Then stand up from my keyboard
So's to take one final bow

(Thank you .. Thank you ..)

The End