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by twyls Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E · Fiction · Pets · #2309749
All she wanted was a new pet.
Amazon Scam Call

“Hello?”

“Hello is this Mrs. Tommy?”

“No, but it is Mrs. Tomi.”

“Oh, ah, hello ma'am. I'm calling from Amazon and I just wanted to ask if you...”

“Please wait. My dear pets are acting up...

“Yes, ma'am. I can wait.”

“There. It should be quiet now. I swear, with all my dear animals, this place is a zoo! Haha! Now, is this about the piranhas? Because I returned those.”

“What? No, ma'am, this is about your order for $1,598 US dollars and 45 cents.”

“Oh. Yes, of course. How much was it again?”

“It's being delivered today to 760 Magnolia Blvd, Seattle, Washington...”

“Oh. The bird, then... Harold! The nice Amazon man says our scarlet macaw is ready! It's being delivered soon!”

“Ma'am? I'm sorry, ma'am. I can't hear you. The order was placed to your Visa card, ma'am. Do you remember this purchase?”

“Oh dear, that doesn't sound like the macaw at all!”

“Well, I'm sorry to hear that. We can, of course, refund the purchase. You'll just have to give me your bank details and...”

“Young man, I can't understand a word you are saying. The animals are too loud again.”

“Your bank details...”

“Let's see, if it's not the macaw, is it the herd of capybara?”

“The... the herd of...”

“Oh! It's the pink river dolphin! Please have them be cautious. I hear that they bite and there will be so much water. Did you say it would be here today?

“Harold, the dolphin will be here today! Now, sir, what did you say your name was? I'll just get transferred to your supervisor and give you a good review, shall I?

“Sir? Sir? Harold, I think he hung up.”

“Did he? I wonder why.”

“You think you're so funny.”

“One of us has to be, dear.”

“Is it my fault I mix up Amazon the company with the Amazon rainforest? I was just wanting new pets...”

“Abigail, you don't even want a goldfish.”

“Yeah, but that gentleman didn't know that, did he?”

“You've got to hang up on phone scammers.”

“I don't see why.”

“Mental health reasons.”

“But I enjoy them. That was so much fun!”

“Not your mental health, my dear. Theirs.”

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