BALLCAP

BALL CAP

______________

A 10 minute comedy

by

Jim Binz

8/2023

1212 Zeno Lane

Allison Park, PA 15201

Cell: 412-303-8607

E-mail:[e-mail]

CAST OF CHARACTERS

AMY - 20

ZAC - 20

SCENE

An Apartment

TIME

Now

AMY and ZAC stand center in the apartment. Amy wears torn jeans and a band t-shirt, hair in a ponytail, no makeup. Bare feet. ZAC wears jeans, boots, flannel shirt, long hair and beard. He wears a backward ball cap. Loud rock music plays and slowly fades

AMY

Zacky baby, I love our place.

(she begins to dance around)

ZAC

Me too.

(he opens a beer and drinks)

AMY

Our life is so perfect. We dance and sing and make love any time we want. Zac works in a carpentry shop 4 days a week and I waitress at the Big Man. We couldn't be happier. I just love it to pieces.

ZAC

Amy is great. I like everything about her. Our life together couldn't be better. She's a great cook and the sex is terrific.

AMY

I met Zac at a high school dance. He went to vo tech. I just thought he was the most gorgeous man I ever saw. He's so smart, too. I bet he could do anything. Anything he wanted. I'm a lucky girl, I'd do anything for him.

ZAC

Amy was the prettiest girl at that dance. I never saw anyone that made me feel like that. She's really smart, too. And a hard worker. I'd do anything for her.

ZAC kisses AMY and heads out the door

AMY

I hate it when he has to leave for work.

(she changes into her waitress uniform)

But, I have to go to work sometimes too. It's a busy day at the Big Man, today's special is the meatloaf tower. Comes with mashed potatoes and gravy. Yummy.

(AMY leaves and lights out. Immediately lights back up and AMY enters)

Whew! What a shift! Good tips though.

(Enter ZAC, they hug and kiss)

ZAC

How's my lady?

AMY

Great, now! How's my man?

ZAC

Happy to be home. You smell like meatloaf.

AMY

I'm sorry baby. That's today's special.

ZAC

I like it. Makes me want to eat you up!

AMY

I like the sound of that! You got a letter from your father in the mail.

ZAC

(he reads it) Darn.

AMY

What, baby?

ZAC

My father is planning to disown me if I don't go to Law School.

AMY

Oh, no!

ZAC

We don't make enough to survive without his monthly check. I suppose I will have to go.

AMY

I'm so sorry! Can you go to Law School and keep up with your carpentry?

ZAC

I don't think so. I'll just go and get it over with. I'll probably end up failing out in the first semester anyway.

AMY kisses ZAC and leaves for work. ZAC removes his flannel shirt and pulls on a school sweatshirt, he turns his cap forwards. Changes his boots for sneakers. Picks up a backpack full of books.

ZAC

Study group. I got in a pretty good one. Everyone has been very successful so far. It's pretty intense. I like being able to be a really good student. I don't think I ever really put forth much effort in school before. It feels different, kind of nice to be meeting my potential. My father and Amy are both so proud of me. Maybe being a lawyer is what I should have been all along?

AMY enters and changes into her secretary outfit during this speech (pencil skirt, white blouse, heels, belt)

AMY

You'll never believe this. A customer came in and ordered the special - Chicken fajitas with Mexican street corn. We got to talking and he asked me if I wanted to be a secretary? A secretary! In an office! Instead of the heat and the walking and the mess of a restaurant? Of course I do! What waitress wouldn't? Plus, it might be a better career for the wife of a successful lawyer. I start right away. What do you think, Zac?

ZAC

I'm so happy for you Amy! No more smelling like the meatloaf special of the day, though. I'll miss that!

AMY

I can always stop on my way home and visit Big Mans. I could bring home a to-go bag!

ZAC

True!

AMY blows ZAC a kiss as she leaves. ZAC changes into his lawyer costume during this speech. He removes the beard and the long hair and ball cap, adds a sports jacket and dress shirt and dress pants and shoes. He now wears glasses.

ZAC

After Law School, I passed the boards and began work with the prestigious law firm of Baker, Nottage and Vogel. I had hoped to be doing criminal law, but I do mainly contract stuff. Some international. Fiduciary and case specifics. I like it. I'm well suited to it. Clients seem to like me very much and the partners always compliment my work ethic. Dad was right, this is a good career for me. I'm where I should be. Amy seems happy working in an office. She gets regular raises from her bosses and they all tell her what a gem she is. She doesn't cook for us much, we usually get some kind of take out. Or she works late and I work late and we don't get to eat dinner together. It's a small price to pay for the lifestyle. We can afford anything we want now. Nice cars, good clothes, toys. Vacations to nice places. We have it all. Amy is great. Just great. I'm very happy.

AMY enters and kicks off her shoes.

AMY

Ugh! I think sometimes working in an office is harder than waitressing! Up and down! Go here, go there. My feet hurt!

ZAC

Bye, I'm headed to my Rotary meeting.

AMY

Bye, be careful out there!

ZAC goes out.

What? I don't even get a kiss? Nice. Still, he's busy. I get it. He takes everything so seriously. His firm, his service clubs, his golf. He's an important man, all right. We are so blessed. We have everything we could want! Zachary is just great. Just great. I'm very happy. My office has an opening for a VP of Marketing. Of course, I'm not qualified. Or interested. Still, I put in for it, just in case. It sounds interesting. Marketing. I think being a VP would be a good challenge for me. I would miss being a secretary slash office manager. But VP. That would be something.

LIGHTS OUT and immediately back up. AMY changes into her business outfit (business suit and blouse, updo hair, makeup, better heels)

AMY

You won't believe it! I got the VP position! ME! I'm now the Vice President of Marketing! I have so much to do, to learn. They want me to take a night class at the University and to do a study of all the online marketing information I can find. I'm so excited! This is such a big life change for me!

Enter ZAC with a different sports coat

ZAC

Hi, Aim. New outfit?

AMY

Zac! I got the promotion! I'm the new Vice President of Marketing! I can't believe it!

ZAC

That's a big jump for you! Congratulations! I'm so proud of you.

AMY

Thank you. I'm proud of myself. Of course, there's a lot to learn.

ZAC

You'll do fine. You're a very quick learner. And I always said you were really smart.

AMY

Thank you, that's sweet. It probably means more nights of you eating alone. Is that all right?

ZAC

Whatever it takes for you to be happy. I can eat alone for a while, we will have lots of time together somewhere down the line. Besides, I just got the big Albee contract and that's going to take lots of my time. Maybe we can set aside some time on the weekends?

AMY

I'd like that. I gotta run, don't take any wooden nickels!

AMY exits

ZAC

Yeah, you too. Things are really looking up for us. Everything is in full speed ahead mode. We rarely get to sit and talk anymore. Or listen to music. Or dance around the apartment. Or have sex. This is life, I guess. We're just really into it now. My work is great, the partners have trusted me with a very big client. A lot is riding on winning this one. I feel very confident that I have this under control. And there is talk that with a win I could be offered a partner in the firm. My name on the letterhead and more money. I could pick and choose my cases and who I would work with. It's a big deal. I didn't mention it to Amy yet. I think I'll wait until it happens.

Exit ZAC. Enter AMY

AMY

There's so much to do. I can't believe he isn't here yet. We are going to be late!

(AMY changes into her little black dress and very high heels. She fixes her hair and makeup)

I wish he told me he had to work late. This is such an important Gala and we are fortunate to be invited! This is the social occasion of the decade! I need to make a good entrance and be seen by the right people.

Enter ZAC

ZAC

Sorry. I'll be ready in a flash.

ZAC changes into his black 3 piece suit with a bow tie and a white silk scarf)

Got caught in traffic. All the poky drivers are out today.

AMY

We can't be late. This is very important to me.

ZAC

Yes, I know. We'll make it.

AMY

Did you order a car to pick us up?

ZAC

Yes, it will be here shortly. Everything is handled.

AMY

Good. Bow tie tonight?

ZAC

I thought.

AMY

Yes. I agree. Looks good.

ZAC

You look terrific, too. Do you smell like meatloaf?

AMY

You haven't smelled meatloaf in a long time.

ZAC

Right. Only Chanel.

AMY

Only Chanel.

ZAC

What's this event about tonight?

AMY

I told you. This is for the Carpenter's Ball Union. It's the biggest gala of the decade. All the important people will be there. Should raise a ton of money and good will.

ZAC

Carpenter's?

AMY

Yes.

ZAC

Oh.

AMY

What?

ZAC

Nothing. I was a carpenter, once.

AMY

I remember. When we first lived together. Before Law School.

ZAC

Yes. Before VP of Marketing.

AMY

Back in the days of smelling like meatloaf special.

ZAC

Yes. I miss those days.

AMY

Are you happy?

ZAC

No. I miss working with my hands and drinking beer and dancing with you around an apartment.

AMY

I miss that, too.

They both begin to remove clothes and dress in their original outfits as much as they can. Last piece will be the ball cap. AMY will turn it around to backward at the end.

ZAC

We had a happy life. We danced and sang and made love all day long.

AMY

We had lots of care, but we really didn't care.

ZAC

We thought that nothing could change our happiness. Nothing could ever replace it.

AMY

We had just enough. Just enough to be deliriously happy and in love.

ZAC

We had it all. And we left it.

AMY

Would you hug me?

ZAC

Of course.

They hug and kiss. AMY turns the hat backward

LIGHTS OUT