Precious fallacy

I've been beaten down, innumerable times I have failed. What has happened? My strength and abilities have faltered, and I am all of a sudden a shell of who I was. I question the integrity of my soul, what is this fatuous attempt at regeneration? Why can't I quit the vicious corruption that is withering my life essence? I pray and pray, yet I can't call on Him to guide me through the agony of knowing that I am doing this to myself. I can't write to escape anymore, I have lost my flow and voice, my strength and my fortitude. Word after word, and nothing seems to click into place. I am pathetic, and I can not bear to deal with my foolish incompetence much longer. I want to break the screen seeing that I can not write like I used to. I write to escape my reality, but the words don't seem to bring my inception about, and I plummet further into the abyss of iniquity.