How I met her....

Oh boy... how to start... let's see...

I met my girlfriend around a year and a half ago now, it wasn't anything special like you might see in some sort of movie or read out of a book. We met at esports practice. She walked in and instantly I didn't think I was going to be talking to her very much. The entire esports season ended up being a bust, she barely played and was on her phone the whole time (so was majority of the people there). Regardless, the esports season didn't go well. After the season I had lost all contact with her. We both technically could've talked to each other at any time, but I didn't talk to her very much. Time passed and after some time we started talking again, I introduced her to my friend group because I assumed she was going to be one of my closer friends. SURPRISE !! she started talking to my friend group more than me. I wasn't to upset at this, it was kind of whatever, she was happy, and life was just kind of the same old same old for me.

This is where everything changed...

She started dating one of my best friends. At first this was just super weird. Thats the only way to explain it, just... weird. Both of them ended up distancing themselves from the rest of the group, they would always hang out in these private calls, and they'd always be playing some sort of game together. I started to look at her differently, she was just started to get annoying to me, both of them did. I'm not 100% sure why, even to this day. I've always assumed it was because of how private they were and how whenever we would play together, they would yell constantly. Anyway, that's beside the point. Basically, at this point in the story, I didn't like either one of them. Push came to shove, and something happened, they broke up. Everyone stopped talking to her including me, it was my best friend or a girl that I hadn't liked at the time.

Randomly, I'd get messages from her. They'd read... "Hey, how are you." and I'd respond how any normal person would with the usual, "im doing okay how are you." and somehow every conversation would end up back with her ex, my best friend, and how she was obsessed with him. This only made me dislike her more, I'm not the type of person to get upset over who people like, but it always ended up in a favor getting asked of me and she couldn't talk about anything else or have a normal conversation. She used to always ask me to come up to her in school or give her food or something, and she was super nice, I hated to seem rude to her and I hated to turn her down and say I wasn't going to meet with her. Sometimes I would lie and say I forgot or that I just didn't have enough time. She was very sweet; she would offer me food all the time as well. (And who wouldn't say yes to free food). Eventually I started actually just going to her most mornings and getting food from her or talking to her, tying her shoes if she needed it, or whatever. This led to us texting more and just having normal conversations for once. At this point I started thinking, "Do i really like her? Is she becoming a part of my life again?" and every day I would think about those questions more.

Once again, everything changed.

We were talking on call for once, we had done this from time to time and it was never a super interesting thing that would happen. But we were talking on call, my friend and his girlfriend were also in the call. With my friend being there the call wasn't as awkward and I talked to him majority of the time. Something got brought up about jobs and I talked about how I had applied to Walmart with no reply for weeks. My girlfriend, (who wasn't my girlfriend at the time), said that it would be okay if i worked at her family's shop. Of course, me looking for a job already at the time and having more time to hang out with her and realize what I wanted, I accepted. I was anxious to start working, I really just wanted to make money but spending time outside of my house for like the first time in 2 years and spending it with a friend for 5 days of the week sounded like it was going to be a blast. The first day rolls around and I'm super anxious. My dad drives me up to the shop, and there's a lot of cars outside. I walked in and there she was amidst a group of a bunch of old guys and a lady who i vaguely remember being her mother. I introduced myself to her mom, and a bunch of random people in the shop were also shaking my hand and introducing themselves. At this time i had just figured that they were regulars, and I didn't think too much of it. Until later on I found out that one of them was her dad. It was super awkward with her parents when I first started, I had no clue what I was doing, and I figured that they just thought I was another one of her friends coming to work. All I did for the first few days was just puppy around her. I followed her around and just watched everything she did. I thought it was pretty fun to hang out with a friend for the first time in ages. We had a few days where we were alone together and thats where majority of it started. She would lay on the floor and ask if I wanted to join her, and I did. There were days where we would lay on top of each other. I never thought too much of it, I was pretty touch starved and I enjoyed what was going on.

On one of the days we were alone something happened...

We were laying there, on top of each other, like usual. We would stare into each other's eyes, she had some of the prettiest eyes I had ever seen. She would just say her usual "hiiiii" to which I would reply "heyy". Nothing ever happened. At least not usually it didn't. There was one time we stood up and she was standing next to me behind the counter, we were next to the register, nobody was inside the shop. We both stared at each other again. Except this time, I grew the balls and kissed her. At first, I didn't even realize what was going on, after we kissed, I looked at her and I just thought about what had happened. Neither of us could believe that it happened, but it did. From there on out, we've had a pretty healthy relationship for the most part. We've been arguing a lot recently but other than that, it's been very stable. We've gone bowling together, which I think she's honestly pretty good at. I love spending time with her family, I think all of them are a blast. I love how her mom and her grandma show interest in my life. I love the hospitality that they all have shown me. HER GRANDMAS COOKIES ARE THE BOMB BY THE WAY. ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. I love her so much and I love her family, I cant wait until they actually become my in laws :)


Basically just everything about her I love, her eyes, and the way they sparkle. How cute she is when she's upset. I hate when we argue but I know it'll all be worth it in the end, I love this girl with all of my heart, and I hope that she can see it, even when I don't show it well.


- anyway i wrote this because you said something about me losing feelings and I just wanted to reminicize on whats happened