Beautiful blood

I remember every time in much detail. Every slit, the way the blood practically gushed out, the stinging sensation, the peak of blissfulness as well as the draining clean up. It was almost heavenly, it would have been had hiding the remains of such an act hadn't been so stressful. Occasionally i crave such feelings again, though i must push them to the back of my mind. The people in my head try and encourage it sometimes, making the thoughts harder to push back. Unfortunately help is far out of reach. Professionals shone my main issues aside, only caring on discharging me from the hospital's care, how very helpful of them... On multiple accounts i have given in to all the suffocating thoughts and carried the cycle out again, fortunately the forceful strip searches have been ceased making such a lot easier. I relish in the feeling of it. It makes me feel alive and full of energy, it provides such a warm blanket of comfort from the world.