The evolution of THE STUD

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I am now that developing and maturing 13 year old boy that was easily influenced and persuaded. Not that I cannot honestly say that I encountered a lot of positive and fulfilling influences but it is all about what strikes that person at that specific time.of their life. It also relates to hey what thus far has this specific child been through up until that time where he or she accepts that influence as something that is either fulfilling and satisfying to that person or it can also be something that traumatized that person or acts as a buffer so that person can hold it in a back pocket. This can all be brought full cycle back by giving you an example of this behavior that can either be a positive or negative in that specific child's life and it can exist FOR A LIFETIME if that SPECIFIC PERSON wants it to stick around for a lifetime. I mean just a quick thought for all the first thing I go right to when I write the word {LIFETIME for me it is not as such an impactful thought provaking word to myself. It is viewed like that by me because there was some point or time in my life that I made an inner decesion to go through this existence period as just a time frame and with my lifestyle ala intimate not responsible behaviors over and over and my unwilling inner self MIND BLOWN JUST WILL NEVER GET IT drug use and I hate to write these words but I wanted and always needed a relationship with a drug and or a behavior that would take me out of me. Still to this day as I write this I cannot anyway or any how tell you why that was my desire and my FAVORITE LOVER of all time. There was no other "LOVER" including that 20 year old babysitter that took my virginity when I was just going into full puberty at 14 and Mylee who was my FIRST LOVE you all know that first person you got fully invested in as it applied to finances, household decesions, having kiddos, and of course being the most intimate with for the first time ever and where you as a couple try to shatter your sexual and intimate bars and do things you have only watched on HBO at 3 am in the morning while all were asleep or let me blow all your minds THAT OLD PLAYBOY under your older brothers bed.