The Amazing Low-Cost Laser Box Cutter

Writers Cramp ▼

Write a story or poem about a hot, new, supposedly world-changing product appearing for sale ... and the unexpected consequences that result from its widespread purchase.
Be creative! 1000 words max

Justin Carruthers studied the ad with interest:

Utility laser box cutter. SAFE 50mW ruby laser extends only 1 mm. Open boxes, envelopes, cut string etc. Takes 9V battery (not included). $49.95 plus shipping.

How, he wondered, could they make a phased light beam stop a millimetre from the lens? Somehow, he didn't think these would be available for long. Either it would be a cheap fake with a red LED, or it would be a cheap laser pointer, or it would be...interesting. He was prepared to sacrifice $50 to find out. He fished his VISA card out of his wallet and ordered one.

###

The item arrived the next week. As he had expected, it resembled a cheap LED flashlight or laser pointer, except that it was a little broader and flatter. He read the warnings on the sheet:

Thank you for purchase laser box cutter.
Please to use with care and safety.
Use with caution.
Use for intended use only.
Do not immerse water.
Do not modify danger.
Do not apply to human.
Danger! Can burns.

The instructions showed how to insert the battery; he slipped in a fresh 9V Duracell. He pushed the momentary switch and held it down, aiming at the wall. Of course, nothing showed; only in movies did a laser glow through the air. But he also didn't see a laser dot on the wall. Okay, either not a laser pointer or a defective device. He took a box of cereal out of the pantry and set it on the table. Holding the button with the device about 5 cm away, he couldn't see a dot on the box. He moved it closer and closer. Just as it was about to touch the box he noticed the red dot and a curl of smoke, so he carefully drew a circle on the box. A blackened line followed his movement until he released the switch. The circle of cardboard fell out, along with the box liner and a cascade of slightly scorched cereal.

He couldn't believe that it worked. He removed the battery and noticed a small screw inside the battery compartment. Curious, he opened the device. A complex circuit board, a couple of black blobs (onboard chips), and, surprisingly, a single 500Kohm quarter watt resistor. He carried everything to his basement workshop, secured the laser in a small vice, and grabbed his resistor substitution box. He set the switches for 500Kohm; in parallel with the onboard resistor, this would make 250Kohms. He used test leads to connect the battery, checked that nothing was in the way of the laser, and shorted out the switch. Keeping his hands out of the way, he gradually moved the cereal box towards the laser. It started to burn 2 mm away. With the resistor at 100K, the laser extended 5 mm; at 50K, almost 9 mm. And with the resistor shorted out?

Aghast, he unhooked the battery with trembling fingers. This was impossible; a 50mW laser should not have that much power. But a 9V battery contained quite a bit of energy. He measured current flow from the battery...woah! At that rate, a battery might last fifteen minutes.

He staggered back upstairs and poured a scotch. Who should he call? How many of these would be set loose on the world? How many people would change the resistor to create a vicious cutting weapon?

###

Reuters, 2023-08-12. US hospitals report pandemic of burns due to "laser box cutter". Congress seeks ban.

National Enquirer, 2023-08-12 BOY CUTS OFF BROTHER'S FINGER WITH LASER. A 12-year old boy is alleged to have cut off his four-year-old brother's little finger with a laser box cutter. "It doesn't cut deep but it sure does cut! I just went all around his finger, and off it came!"

Ethiopia News Agency, 2023-08-14 Local authorities report a resurgence of female genital mutilation in Egypt, Sudan, Kenya, Nigeria, Guinea, and other areas following the availability of a small laser cutter. Adherents remark that the cuts are self-cauterized so bleeding and infection are minimized. The African Women Association and other feminist organizations are seeking to ban the device....

AP, 2023-08-25. Hospitals in Nigeria are reporting an increase in amputations and deep lacerations among Black Axe gang members. "They used to carve each other up with machetes. Now they use lasers. At least they don't bleed out because the wounds are cauterized," reported Dr. Nuanda Abubakar of the Ahmadiyya Hospital in Newbussa.

Half-page ad in all major US and international newspapers, 2023-08-29

LightScalpel laser surgery products are FDA cleared for medical use. Our device is not to be confused with a currently illegal product known as a "Laser Box Cutter". Our safe, controllable product is used for incision, excision, vaporization, ablation, and coagulation of soft tissue in medical surgery in a variety of specialties.

The Guardian, London, 2023-10-15. Laser Box Cutter shut down. Executive officers arrested. Authorities have shut down Machiavellian Electronics in Croydon, assemblers and distributors of the notorious Laser Box Cutter. CEO Damian Grompert, CFO Dillon Margent, and COO Carter Cockwright are under arrest. All factory supplies and outgoing shipments have been seized. The LBC has been responsible for a recent rash of burns, injuries, and attacks worldwide. "I'm glad that we have ended this scourge," said Sir Michael Rowley, Chief Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police Service. "Our next step is the factory in China where the circuit boards are made."

Ad in Make Magazine, 2023-11-16

Build your own low-power laser. Safe and harmless 50mW ruby laser. Fun for experiments. Circuit board and components. Includes link to download STL for 3D printed case. Requires 9V battery. $99.99 USD plus shipping.

Note

I doubt Make would actually run that ad. Fictional license.