Birthday Surprise

"Hey, Sis, let's go over the guest list for your birthday. How about Father Farthingale?"

"Marg, there's something funny about that priest. He's a loose canon."

"Okay, Sheila, we'll scratch the holy father."

"Careful where you scratch him. What goes around runs around."

"I get it. We won't invite him. What about that hot Ben Sinktop?"

"Oh, Marg, think outside the bed for once. Yes, him for sure. I always liked him. Mind, I liked Farthingale until I heard about the choir boys. That opened a real can of storms."

"Yes, it did that."

"Right, you can't judge a crook by its cover. Hey, let's invite Fred and Mabel. We've known them since Hector was a muppet."

"Fred and Mable, good choice. What about Dave and Dorothy?"

"Are you forgetting? Dave is as dead as a hangnail."

"I forgot, yes. My bad."

"Dorothy should come, though. And she should bring a date. After all, there are plenty of fish on the beach."

"We'll invite Dorothy and escort. Cousin Sheldon and his family ought to be here."

"Are you sure? Last time Sheldon was here, it was a perfect swarm, we were all over each other biting and stinging."

"Still, they're family. They should be here. I'll talk to him."

"Ha! Talking to Sheldon is like riding a dead horse. He listens like the average rock."

"Come on, Sheila. You're only going to be seventy once and family should come."

"Boy, did you ever get up on the wrong side of the fence today!"

"Family is important. We don't have all that much family left. They should be invited."

"All right, take the bull by the balls and invite them. But remember, every toe has it's thorn."

"No problem. So, Ben, Fred, Mable, Dorothy, Sheldon and Lorraine and the kids. Who else? How about Bailey Marcus? He's sweet on you."

"That man is like a bull in a candy store. We'll have to hide all the sweets and the breakables."

"Plus you and me, sis. That makes ten. I'll put together the birthday cake and you can pick up the helium balloons."

"Sounds good. I'm glad you're making the cake from scratch - good things come to those who bake. Provided it turns out. A bad cake is a pain in the bundt."

"I do hope it's a good party."

"Me, too, Marg, but all we can do is put in the effort. Nothing ventured, nothing earned."

# # #

“Bailey, hi, come on in. You’re first. I sent Sheila off on an errand and she thinks the party isn’t until nine. Just go wait in the kitchen. Oh, good, here come Fred and Mable. Sheldon, Lorraine, glad you can make it, everybody’s right on time. Left the kids at home? Probably just as well. Guys, go in the kitchen with Bailey.

“Hi, Bailey. Are you in on surprise?”

“Sure am. Hey, Hi, Dorothy. And who’ve we got here?”

“This is my friend Adam. Adam, this is Bailey and Mable and Fred, and this is Sheldon and Lorraine. You met Marg on the way in.”

“Nice to meet you all, folks. So, what's the deal, Marg?”

“Ben Sinktop is coming but he’s not here yet. Okay, you all know about this but Ben--I wasn't able to give him the details. You'll all hide in Sheila's bedroom and keep really quiet. I’ll hide in the kitchen to get the cake ready and when Sheila comes home I'll park her in the living room. I’ll join you in the bedroom and we’ll all rush out with the balloons and yell Surprise!”

“Got it.”

“Yep.”

“Sure. Easy peasy.”

“Oh, I hear Sheila at the door. Run everybody, hide! I’ll hide in the kitchen and get the cake ready”

# # #

“Oh, Ben, you’re such a romantic. You make me feel young and foolish yet.”

“You’re a beautiful woman, and beauty knows no age.”

“You’ve got lines as smooth as a baby’s diaper. Do you really think we can do this?

“Viagra is a worker of miracles.”

“Shh. I hear Marg in the kitchen. We need to be as quiet as dice.”

“Okay. Mum’s the word.”

“Forget your mother. We’ve got an hour before the party guests come. Let’s sneak into the bedroom for a quirky. Umm, let me undo that for you. I want to be as naked as a jaywalk.”

“Here’s the bedroom. Open the door already.”



S*U*R*P*R*I*S*E!

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Winner, Writers Cramp for August 2...Write a STORY or POEM about sisters getting together to celebrate their birthdays. It's a "momentous" birthday for one of the sisters (a special age - like 40 or 50 or 65 or 80). You MUST include what special age the sister is turning, a birthday surprise that doesn't quite turn out as planned, and choose COMEDY as one of your genres.

Okay, you saw it coming a mile away. I had fun mangling the cliches. Please don't tell me I misspelled "cannon"--it's a pun. Oh, and say "young and foolish yet" ten times real fast, you'll get it.