Going to the Dentist

"Whose crazy idea was this?" Effie demanded.

"Sorry, but it was mine," Shandana replied. She had to shout to make herself heard over the wroom-vroom of the van they were in and the shouts of the children riding with them, two of whom were currently on Effie's lap, bawling away.

In all fairness to Shandana, it had seemed a good idea. The Principal, the teachers, the volunteers, the parents and the children had all agreed to it. After all, misery loves company - and wouldn't a visit to the dentist be more palatable (pun intended) if the rest of your classmates were with you?

So they had called the dental hospital, fixed a time when five pediatric dentists would be available for their twenty-five 6-year-olds, collected permission slips and previous dental records from parents, done preparatory role-play in class, and set off. Twenty-five kids, two teachers and four volunteers. Oh, and old Ernie, the van driver. The volunteers were trainee teachers, nervously handling their first real experience with actual kids.

The kids had been enthusiastic to start with. There were squabbles about who would occupy front seats, window seats, and seats near the teachers. They had started off singing, "We're going to the dentist, Our teeth will be strong, We're going to the dentist, So nothing goes wrong ..."

But things had gone wrong.

It had happened when they had stopped at a traffic signal, and there was a hoarding for the movie 'Dracula' clearly visible. Little Jimmy pointed at the poster and said, "He sure needs a visit to the dentist."

"Maybe he'll be there when we're there," Chintu replied.

That did it.

The cry went around the van in less time than it takes to snap your teeth. Dracula would be in the dentist's waiting room to get his fangs sharpened. And once he had them sharpened, he'd attack whoever was next on any of the five dentist chairs ...

Within seconds, half the kids were in hysterics. Two of the volunteers had tears in their own eyes. The teachers were trying to restore calm and Ernie, with his focus on driving and traffic, was blissfully unaware of the mayhem behind him. Or at least, he pretended to be.

Jimmy was proud to have started it all. Having gained everyone's attention, he proceeded to tell them of the torture instruments the dentists themselves would force in to their mouths. One of the volunteers tried to bribe him to shut up by offering him a sweet, at which Mythili said the dentist wouldn't like them to eat sweets and Sreejith wailed that not only were dentists and vampires going to attack him, but he unfairly got left out of the distribution of sweets, too.

The van came to a halt. Another traffic light? It didn't appear to be. Effie craned her neck over the heads of the two kids she was holding. Where were they? This wasn't the hospital. Why was Ernie getting off the van?

The teachers lost sight of Ernie for a bit. He returned in three minutes, bringing with him a plump, jolly woman wearing purple pajamas. Her hair was snow white, her cheeks were pink and she bounded on to the van and yelled, "HALLO THERE!"

All noises ceased. Everyone turned to look at her. She beamed at them. "I am the jolly lady, and this is my husband," she called out, pointing at Ernie. "He says all of you are going to the dentist."

"Did she have to remind them?" Shandana thought, bitterly.

But the kids didn't resume their wailing. The woman had them mesmerised.

"Well," she continued, "Ernie here tells me you know a song to keep yourselves safe at the dentist's. If you sing it nice and loud, nobody can attack you there. Who can sing the song?"

There were three volunteers. "We're going to the dentist ..." they began. Ernie and his wife joined in. The teachers joined in. The volunteers joined in. By the second round, every kid was singing lustily.

"Hope you don't mind. My home is just a little detour," Ernie whispered to Shandana. "My wife, she's amazing with kids."

"Mind? She saved all our minds!" Shandana whispered back.

"Yep. And you'll get all future crazy ideas out of your mind!"

Shandana blushed. They watched Mrs. Ernie pick up a couple of kids, sit herself down in their seats, and place them snugly on her lap. She looked around and saw her husband.

"Don't just stand smiling there. Drive this van. We can't be late for our dentist appointment!"