I Wish You Could See Me

I wish you could see me for who I am
See past who you think I am
Forget who you think I should be
You all have no clue,
What you believe is not really me
There are things that I feel
hopes and dreams that I have
Anxieties, doubts and fears, depression
My feelings get hurt easily
by things said or not said
What is not done as much as what is
It is hard for me to join in so often get left out
my rejection is more like my fear of being rejected
Inside I am still kind of a mess
Regrets and misgivings about things done in the past
There is also forgiveness I have given myself
I lived a life that was crazy, full of drama not needed
Also fun, excitement, special moments, I wouldn't give up
I can't seem to do what needs to be done
So I can do what I want with the rest of my life.
It's like I self-sabotage afraid to break free
For then I would truly have to be me
And I don't know who that is
What I do know is
This is not how I want to live
I don't want to be responsible for anyone else
But here I am doing it anyway
I really don't know how to let go
Do what needs to be done
Secretly hoping one day soon
It will get done all by itself